In the first post in this series, I gave some general advice about how to approach learning to have prostate orgasms and talked about the easiest way to try to stimulate the prostate: manually. In this post, I will talk about the use of probes, prostate massagers, and vibrators.
The idea here is very simple. We want to use some sort of device to reach the prostate and massage it for sexual stimulation, both comfortably and effectively, thus solving the problem of fingers that are too short.
The prostate is on the front wall of the rectum. So, if you are playing by yourself, and lying on your back, then, after you have inserted your toy, you will have to push it away from you in order to force it up against your prostate. Or else you will have to reach around behind yourself and kind of pull it towards your back. These are not the most comfortable positions.
It is therefore very nice if the toy has a shape that helps get it into contact with the prostate. Many toys designed for prostate stimulation do have some sort of curve to them, for this reason. But I find that these ‘curves’ usually are not sufficient really to solve the problem. This may be because ‘prostate’ toys very often begin life as g-spot toys, and, while there are similarities between the g-spot and the p-spot, there are also important differences. The most important, in the present context, is that the vagina is (obviously) more toward the front of the body than the anus. It is therefore a lot easier to manipulate a toy inserted into the vagina than one inserted into the anus.
I’ll come right out and say that the NJoy Pure Wand is the best thing I have ever found for this purpose. It has a nice, one inch ball on one end, a larger, inch and a half, ball on the other end, and a graceful curve along the way that narrows to about half an inch in the middle. It is made of metal, so it is extremely rigid. Either ball works well for insertion, and even the smaller one is large enough to stimulate a good portion of the prostate. The other end works as a handle, and the Pure Wand is long enough that it is easy to manipulate without having to double oneself over. It also helps a lot that it is narrow in the middle. This makes extended use more comfortable, and gives very little resistance to movement at the point of entry.
The Pure Wand is expensive, no doubt, and not everyone will be able to afford one. But I’ve used other toys designed as g-spot dildos, such as the Tantus G-Force, and many of them have worked just fine. Look for something fairly long and, preferably, fairly rigid. If it’s too flexible, as silicone toys usually are, you won’t be able to apply enough pressure to the prostate.
Again, what we are looking to do is to massage the prostate, more or less. You will be using a toy to do it, but the options are much the same as with fingers, as described in the previous post. One wants to hold the toy so that it puts a firm but gentle pressure on the prostate and then to move the toy around, in and out, side to side, in circles, or what have you. The movements need only be very slight. We’re not talking about thrusting movements, but much smaller ones, certainly no more than an inch in any direction. The key is really to establish a rhythm and then to maintain it as your arousal grows.
You may well find that different parts of the prostate are more or less sensitive. The most sensitive part of mine seems to be the part that is deepest inside me. I can almost always reach orgasm by massaging that part. But it also feels good to massage the front, and I can sometimes reach a slightly different sort of orgasm that way. That is easiest, though, once I’ve had a few orgasms in some other way, and my body is aflame already.
The first device I found that was able to give me prostate orgasms reliably was the original Aneros Helix prostate massager. I have since used similar devices made by other companies. They can take some practice to master, but it is the best kind of practice.
Prostate massagers, as I am using the term, are “passive” devices, by which I mean that they do not use batteries, and they are not directly manipulated by the user. Instead, they are powered by the user’s body, in a way I shall try to describe.
Massagers of this kind basically consist of two parts. There is a “finger” that is meant to be inserted into the rectum. The finger is usually curved and is just long enough that, when the toy is in place, the tip of the finger rests against the prostate. There is also what is usually described as a “perineum stimulator”, which remains outside the body and comes into contact with the user’s perineum (the bit between the genitals and the anus). The real purpose of this part of the toy, though, is to anchor the toy against the body.
Think of the prostate massager, then, as a little lever, with the fulcrum being where the perineum tab rests against the body. If you were to press on the base of the toy, where the “finger” enters the anus, and then release the pressure, the toy would move in and then out, but as it did so it would also rotate around the fulcrum. As a result, the tip of the finger would press upon the prostate, while simultaneously moving over it, and then it would move back over it when the pressure was released. If you were to do this over and over, you would be massaging the prostate.
Prostate massagers can be used manually in precisely this way. This is made easier if they have a handle, which most of them do. I have found moving the handle in a little circle to be very effective. Note that this is something a partner can do, as well.
But there are other, more effective ways to operate these devices. I would recommend starting with what is sometimes called the “clench and release” method. Once the device has been inserted, clench down on the toy, contracting your PC muscles, much as you would while doing Kegel exercises. And then release the muscles. Contracting pulls the toy into the rectum, just as if you were pushing on its base; releasing lets the toy fall back again. Doing this rhythmically thus massages the prostate, just as if you were manipulating the toy with your hand.
This sort of exercise gets the blood flowing and helps prepare the body for the most advanced of the available techniques. With this method, one again contracts the PC muscles, but not all the way. Rather, one tries to contract them just half way, and then tries to hold that position. It is impossible to hold the PC muscles at half contraction, but that is the point. The muscles kind of ‘flutter’, contracting and releasing of their own accord, which causes the tip of the massager to sort of dance over the prostate, as if by magic. The sensations this produces are incredible, and they typically bring me to orgasm within a couple minutes. Subsequent orgasms tend to come more quickly, and to last longer, and I can have as many as ten or fifteen orgasms this way.
As I said, it takes time to learn how to do this. It may well be like nothing you have ever felt before. Your body and mind are accustomed to reaching orgasm in a completely different way. As you become more aroused, you may want to clench down harder. Resist that temptation. Do not try to reach for the orgasm. Let it come to you. And when it starts, let the pulsing contractions of your orgasm take over the movements of the massager, and just ride it out.
It’s worth trying different toys of this type, too, such as those from Nexus. The different sizes and shapes produce very different sorts of experiences. Some have not worked for me at all, because they don’t seem to fit my internal anatomy very well. The most surprising one that did is the Pure Wand, which is very heavy, but still can be used as a prostate massager. So don’t give up if it doesn’t seem to happen for you at first. Keep trying.
Using a vibrator can be a very effective way to stimulate the prostate.
There are many vibrators that are made specifically for prostate stimulation. Many of these are ‘male’ versions of g-spot toys, often coming in different colors: black instead of pink. (Enough with the gender stereotypes!) Some of them are specifically designed for use by people with prostates. But almost any vibrator that is long enough to reach the prostate can be tried. Since you will be inserting this into your rectum, however, the usual safety tips apply. The toy should have a wide, flanged base so that you cannot lose it inside yourself. And you probably do not want anything too rough.
Multiple speeds, patterns, and so forth are all nice features in any vibrator. But there are a couple things I have found are particularly important with prostate vibrators.
First, the vibrating mechanism should be where the toy comes into contact with the prostate. That makes the vibrations maximally effective. Unfortunately, however, way too many prostate toys have the vibrator at the base, where it remains outside the body. As a result, much of the vibration tends to be absorbed or otherwise lost before it ever gets to the prostate, which will make the toy less effective than it should be.
Second, it is important to get the vibrator firmly into contact with the prostate. If it just sits in the rectum, the soft tissues surrounding it will absorb most of the vibration, and, once again, little of it will get to where it needs to go.
We have the same problem with vibrators, then, that we have with probes and similar toys: Unless the toy has the right kind of curve, getting it into firm contact with the prostate can be very difficult if you are not a contortionist. Many prostate vibrators do have a bit of a curve, but that doesn’t always help as much as it should. Either the curve isn’t dramatic enough, or there isn’t enough of a handle so that one can direct the vibrator where one wants it to go, or who knows what other problems one encounters.
There is at least one vibrator, however, that is perfectly designed in this respect. I am talking about the Duke Click-n-Charge vibrator, from Fun Factory. It has an almost scary looking shape to it, but the shape does the job, for several reasons. The bulb in the middle is what comes into contact with the prostate, and the girth of the toy, together with the extension at the end, provides some internal pressure to keep it where it needs to be. The little loop at the base, which remains outside the body, works somewhat like the perineum tab on a massager, again helping to force the vibrator up against the prostate.
There’s not a whole lot to using these things. Basically, you just insert the toy, manipulate it until it is in firm contact with the prostate, hold it there, and let it do its thing. That said, there are many different places that one can put the vibrator, exactly: on the front portion of the prostate, on the back portion, in the middle or on one of the sides, and so forth. If one place isn’t working, try another one. I often have the experience of moving a vibrator around and then, suddenly, it just hits the right spot, and I know I’ll be cumming any moment.
If the vibrator has a curve, try using it curved up and curved down. The Billy vibrator from Lelo vibrator, for example, clearly seems intended to be used with the tip curving up towards the prostate, and that works very well indeed. But it can also be used the other way around. Used that way, more of the vibrator seems to be in contact with the prostate, though the vibrations are then a little more diffuse. It’s a different kind of orgasm, but a very pleasant one just the same.