Some reflections

Just jotting down little ideas that pop into my head at random times during the day. Things that I might wish to look into more, or just observations being made. Postcards on the journey!

Seat warmers
I’ve got them in my car, and I’ve noticed since I started this journey, that when I use them, I get cool p-waves and flutters down there. I don’t use seat warmers very often or for very long usually, but now I’m getting some pleasant feelings. Not distracting me from driving, but just a general addition to my level of sexual feelings.

Constant Arousal
I’ve become much more aware of how high my level can get to, and that awareness of course, serves to heighten it more. It’s winter right now, so I’m wearing hoodies a lot, but sometimes I’ll crank the thermostat a little to shed some clothing. After my morning shower, I’ll usually walk around the house wearing just underwear and a t-shirt. The underwear is made of modal material and is very sleek and form fitting. It keeps the package out front more, which makes me aware. The shirt is usually a workout shirt featuring dry-wick material. It rubs against my nipples through the day.

Dry Orgasm without Aneros

So it seems that I’ve reached a place in my journey where it’s possible to have p-waves without the device inserted. I don’t know if anyone else has been able to experience this, but whenever I close my eyes and start to relax, I feel it building now. If I let it go, it will go pretty far. No super yet, but dry ones for sure.

It’s just more evidence that the Aneros helps teach you to something you were always capable of. The pleasure comes from some internal source, not from an external stimulus. Learning to relax is the key.

I did NOT Expect this when I started my journey!

I have been on the journey for almost a year now, and have been achieving incredible super-orgasms of amazing heights and depth, always evolving, sometimes in giant leaps, and sometimes in gradual crawls. I was no stranger to Aless sessions and mind-blowing Super Orgasms, but recently I discovered new levels of communion with an endless orgasm-energy.

I posted recently that I felt like I was in a lull of sorts, a place where I could not imagine or envision where to go, but at the same time, having an unmistakeable sense of there being much more to explore. I felt like I had dug far “linearly” but once there, I had not explored “broadly” if that makes any sense. I took to heart the advice of being mindful of what wolf I fed, (in my personal life) and not worrying too much about WHERE to go. After these recent incredible sessions, I fully understood that destination implies a hunt, a specific start and end, which is not what this is about (as I understand it) it’s much more of getting in SYNC with an ever-present pleasure-energy, and opening new and wider channels to enter “communion” with it.

She’s so nimble!

I’ve been away from posting for a couple of days now, and I thought I’d better post before I start forgetting things. Not like people of a certain age like myself to forget stuff! Thursday afternoon I finally got my Helix Syn. It was am excruciating few hours from then on, until I could deal with supper, and deal with the usual aspects of life. The entire time, I was tingling with anticipation and when me time rolled around, I was ready to go. Thorough cleanup, then onto the rubdown. All primed, eager and ready!
The Helix is so small, it’s hard to believe that this thing could do anything. Hold it alongside my Progasm and it’s like a toy. Lubed up I started slipping it in. I got it past the first bump and then it pulled itself in without any more help from me. I felt it leave my fingers and I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had heard a click when it locked itself in. The crack of my butt is fairly deep and this handle was perfectly nestled deep down there. No way that this device was going to rotate.
Already I could feel tingles, but I made to sure to do some deep breathing anyway. 5 minutes later, I knew I was ready. It takes very little relaxing to get over the initial insertion, compared to the Progasm, because it’s so much smaller. Right away, it started twitching and moving and the more contractions I did and the deeper I did them, the more this little princess danced around. I relaxed and let it start working. I felt much more subtle waves with this Helix than the Progasm, which makes sense to me. But I wasn’t ready for the control I had on her. A light contraction and I would start waves easing up my body. Harder contractions and I was sinking and curling up. Ease off a little and I could pull back and breath through the waves.
This little honey was dancing away on my perineum and prostate so much, but not slamming like the Progasm. Almost like butterfly wings would feel. I was getting constant tingles at my anus and I could feel it popping up and down. So much pleasure! Every position I tried was letting me enjoy the light flashing, sound blocking Super O’s. By the end of the night, I was able to start experimenting with suppressing the shaking and letting an even deeper wave of nothingness and pleasure start to approach.
Rolling onto my stomach was much more comfortable and then I was able to truly able to let the subtleties of the Helix go to work. My butt cheeks, perineum, anus, upper legs and thighs were tingling and fluttering and when I completely relaxed, p-waves would sweep in and deepen and then ease away. Trying to really get to sleep wasn’t a possibility though, because she would suddenly say ‘C’mon, let’s play some more!’
After I removed it and tried to go to sleep, I could still feel my anus fluttering and the p-waves went on for quite some time. Finally sleep came to me after a really fantastic session.
The next morning, I took care of the usual routines of life and after a really erotic feeling shower, I knew that I could definitely stand some more Helix time. After a short while, I switched over to the Progasm. I went from a nympho disguised as a mousy little librarian to an Amazon Queen who was holding me down and saying, ‘This is gonna happen!” Much more intensity and more shaking and moaning than the night before. But I knew I still had more exercise to do as of the Progasm finally popped out. Back in with the Helix. Not so much enjoyment now. I think I was still tuned to the larger device and just wasn’t feeling what the little Helix was doing. So I decided to finish off with a T.O.
That proved to be a little difficult in an enjoyable way. As I was stroking, of course I was flexing my pc muscles and I would get two or three strokes in and start curling in and then relax and repeat. It wasn’t the best finish and I think next time I have a T.O., I’ll leave the device out.

Don’t throw in the towel!

The sessions I had on Saturday and Sunday were nothing to write home about. Not that I would be writing home to tell anyone about this! At any rate, Saturday night wasn’t disappointing, it’s just that nothing really happened, beyond a few light P-waves. Sunday night was a little better, with stronger waves attempting to push through but not quite making it. I’m still having trouble with the Progasm wanting to work itself out.
Now Monday night. What an interesting evening, even though it didn’t start out that way. I’d had the shower and cleaned up. I settled into bed with my Bose noise cancelling headphones. Some sexual Binaural beats from youtube while I looked at erotic photos of women. Then some meditative breathing followed by a couple of rounds of contractions. I had found out that my Helix Syn would be delivered Tuesday, and I suppose that was on my mind. As well as thinking about whether the Progasm was staying in place caused some preoccupation and really didn’t help me. I got up, used the washroom and had a drink and then re-lubed and re-inserted. I let my mind completely relax and didn’t think about much of anything. After a time, I started feeling some fluttering and slight movement of the Aneros. I let the wave move up my body and suddenly, SLAM! The Progasm was jammed in right to the handles, and tight! Holy cow, it felt like I could have hung from a clothesline! It stayed in me for a long time, although I wasn’t getting any really strong feelings of pleasure. It felt good, don’t get me wrong. Very good! It stayed tight like that and then eased off a bit, still buried deep. The rock hard erection that had popped up, faded away too. I was all set to do a few contractions and enjoy whatever came next, but a four-legged varmint decided to change all that. My cat decided to move, and wouldn’t you know it the damn thing decided to park right against my ass! Okay, so that’s coitus interruptus!
So I got up, had a dart and read for a while. I had removed the Progasm, cleaned it and put it away. It was getting quite late and I wasn’t really up to more. Nonetheless, I laid down on my side with a pillow between my knees. I thought a few nice P-waves would be a nice way to finish the night. So, I contracted everything tightly and held until I started to shake. Then, I started feeling a light flutter around my anus, tingling in my butt cheeks and a different kind of wave gently starting to spread. I knew regular breathing would probably block it out, so I tried something different. Half breaths, with exhalation loudly and forcefully through a circular mouth. As I exhaled, I forced my emptying belly inward and down toward my centre. The wave would come back a little stronger each time I did that. My prostate and perineum started coming alive and I noticed that I was involuntarily moving. My head was moving down and my knees were drawing up as I finished each exhalation. I started shaking and soon I was moaning and groaning loudly, without even thinking about it. I was clenched up in a tight ball and my penis felt like it was ready to ejaculate. Outside sound and space vanished. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds and then eased. After a moment I contracted and released again. It started to build, I changed my breathing, and BAM! Curled up in a little ball again! More vocals, a little louder and more special breathing, and it stayed about 10 or 15 seconds. I felt like I was onto something unbelievable and so I did it 4 more times, each one a little more intense. Then I thought I’d better stop as my back was getting a little sore. Go to the kitchen and read and back to bed about 20 minutes later. While I’m reading, I can still feel fluttering throughout my lower abdomen, scrotum and prostate. Okay now, seriously, it’s time to go to bed. Onto my stomach for sleep. But the devil in me says, c’mon! Try it on your stomach. Yep, it worked, except that now my head is sliding down the bed and my ass is heading for the ceiling. And my penis dragging along the flannel sheets as I head skyward really intensifies the feeling of ejaculation, even though nothing is actually happening. I did it one more time like that and decided that position bears future investigation! Once more, then 2 more times on my side and now it’s really time for bed. 2:45 am and I’ve been at it for about 5 hours. I had a few gentle p-waves as I drifted off to sleep with, I’m sure, a smile on my face!

Riding the Rail

I have had a blog on and off for 14 years. My blogs have been both here and in other forums and on Word Press. Between all 4 blogs I had 10,000 subscribers and 800 pages (single space) of 600 + entries. That 14 year written log was a weekly diary of my sex life, what I was thinking, doing and feeling during that entire time. It also inspired a complete erotic novel and 2 others that are in the works.

That written record has been incredibly useful to me now as a tool to read and reflect on where I have been, what experiences I had and what I learned. All of the times, dates and details I have written here in this latest blog came from that written record. The timeline nature of this blog and the perspective that I am offering in these entries is a summary of lessons learned. In the context of all the entries I came to realization that my 9th year was a turning point in my journey.

On Getting My Man Pussy

This nine year watershed was very significant for me in this journey for many – many reasons. That is why it is getting this recognition in the narrative. Nine years was a defining period in the trajectory of my sexuality. Aneros and MMO bent the arc of my sexuality in a manner that made it almost unrecognizable from what it once was. Sexuality and male sexual response is a complex part of my humanity; it is biophysical and it is psychological. The two are inextricably interwoven. In plain terms that means that my sexuality is a dance of my mind and my body, carefully choreographed by external factors. Aneros has been a huge external factor for me.

I am a man, obviously I have a penis. In sexual activity my penis gets erect so it can be proactive and thrust in fucking. In sexual practice for me over the 40 years of my active sex life that translates to me being the active agent. I drove the love making. In plain terms, my cock is designed to harden so it can penetrate her vagina and with thrusting create sensations that triggers my body to pump semen into her vagina. We did that hundreds and hundreds of times. That biological urgency creates in my mind a psychological dimension to match the biological function. I have to be proactive and cause pleasure by my conscious actions. I thrust my pelvis penetrating her vagina; it felt good. Fucking her turned me on and made me ejaculate; me thrusting and fucking her gave her pleasure in the process. My conscious actions and the pleasure I cause results in ejaculation and her orgasm.

Am I almost there?

I have had 4 sessions. 60-120 mins each. Yesterday I constantly felt that “tapping”. This was achieved after some relaxing slow contraction exercises. I sat back and enjoyed the feeling. However the tap would be hard, and intense, but no p waves and after a minute it went away. I would contract more. And maybe get another 20 seconds of tapping.

Relax for 10-15mins of do nothing and I literally felt nothing. No discomfort but no pleasure either.

I’d do 1/4 strength contractions and hold for 10sec. Tapping again. But then it goes away.

Should I keep doing this the same way? I feel like I’m relaxed and I can even feel the whole shape of the Aneros. I’m definitely aware and I’m absolutely feeling pleasure. Just can’t get over the hump.

past week +

Things just went side ways.

Friday 1/18 I some how buggered my neck at work, cant tilt to the left at all. Tried heat, cold, even tried a muscle relaxer from back when I pulled my back. nothing worked. I couldn’t get out of bed Saturday, ended up rolling off the bead as any movement made my head scream in pain. I went to the walk in clinic, they gave me a few shots & some pills to help.

Saturday 1/19 night tried the Jr just for s&g. I got nothing, almost couldn’t tell I was joined w/ him.

Sunday 1/20 I went ahead and did a full double release to restart my cycle,

Monday 1/21 tried some edging, it was like my cock was numb. I could feel myself stroking but got no sensations and only got half hard. Once I did get something it was to late and I just blew if you will, was an ultra lame orgasm/ejaculation. It was a waste of time. May as well give up till I stop the pills. You would think taking a muscle relaxer would work the same way as weed but seems not so much.

Trident maximus feels great but no O yet

Just got my trident maximus after a year of using a Helix syn. tried the maximus the last 2 nights and the size is easy to handle. The moment it is in the pleasure waves start hard and fast, this must be from the larger size. however after 2+ hours each night no Dry or super O’s, it keeps me on the edge and feels amazing the entire time, i can feel the dry o building but i just can’t get there. this may be from the limited mobilty the larger size is causing? i am now temped to order a eupho for comparision. the helix syn on most attempts devlivers some amazing dry orgasms, so i know i’m wired for it. The hard plastic and agresive angle of the P tab of the maximus does cause discomfort after a while but the full feeling is great. i’ll keep trying to see if it can deliver.