A new train of thought

So the blue toy was back in my bag. Waste of money I thought and I left it for a couple of weeks. But somewhere in the back of my mind the thought of this mystical super O was still there. I really wanted it. It was at this point I started delving deep into the Aneros forums and indeed for any new member like myself I can't but recommend reading as much as you can. These forums are simply a superb resource and full of information. I really wanted to make this blue toy work for me and work with me. I started to realise that my technique was wrong and I was probably using the wrong muscles. I'd read up on relaxation and using the right lubes too. The hypnAerosession intrigued me also. I'd practiced a bit of self hypnosis many years ago when i'd had trouble sleeping and needed to relax. I'd found that i was able to fall into a trance like state and that it emptied my mind of thoughts and just relaxed me. As I knew that i was able to do this I downloaded the session and stuck it on my phone to listed to that evening when I had a free house to chill out a bit. At this point I was still using a liberal amount of lube. Happened to be liquid silk which was all I had to hand at the time without producing a batch of Jlube which is what I use for larger toy play. I read about maximus so ordered a bottle of that too. So lubed up and Alana on I setttled in for some relaxation and hopefully some new sensations. For a gay guy though, listening to Alana is a little weird. She's seductive for sure but I'm really not interested in her breasts…no offence intended, i'm sure they're lovely ;-(…however, the session itself was working in terms of relaxation. I really was sliding deeper. It came to the point in the session though where i needed to start contracting so I did. But yet again nothing really was happening. I was lying there on my back in a deeply relaxed and fairly aroused state but where were these p-waves i'd read about. I was contracting, holding and relaxing..trying to do what she was saying but nothing was happening. Again, frustration yeilded…i pulled my headphones out and just went for a traditional wank. By this point i'd usually have pulled the progasm out but i left it in this time. I was yanking away but this time it felt different…the feelings were much stronger and felt so much better. I ejaculated and wow, that was simply the best orgasm I'd had in a long time. It was at this point that I realised that something was different, something had changed or I was allowing something to happen. It was these first signs that gave me some hope that actually I might be able to get this thing to work. I was now determined to take my body to a new level. I'd read that this could take some time…weeks, months or even years so I started thinking that this will be a journey and I'll give it a chance. However, progress would come quicker than I could have imagined.