This and that

I've noticed that for me the butterflies in the stomach can mean either I'm aroused or I'm scared. If I focus on breathing, I can either calm myself down or explore the arousal. Yesterday I tried for the calmness but got the anxiety instead. There was nothing sexual at hand and I was being hit by bad vibes )from my spouse while I was driving tho car LOL(.

I don't know why the body energy thing isn't discussed much here. To me it's at least as important as multiple prostate orgasms.I am using my hands to move body energy around and to stimulate contractions. The energy feels like a feather that follows my hand if I hover it an inch or so over my skin. The energy that starts contractions is more powerful, like a mild e-stim. This is totally amazing to me and seems like magic but it's real. Maybe you have to experience it to understand it. I wasn't interested until I was shown that I could feel it.

I'm at a nice plateau now, calm seas for a long time, and learning new things about myself every day. I feel trapped in it sometimes when I become jealous of other men having super Os on the first day. I try to believe that if I continue exploring, I'll eventually land in a super orgasm. I'm learning to trust my body more. But seeing someone experiencing a super orgasm scares me, IDK why.

I also noticed that I got emotionally labile* around the full moon this month. Emotions were right on top and leaked out occasionally. Wonder what that means?

*labile:
1. Open to change; adaptable: an emotionally labile person.
2. Chemistry Constantly undergoing or likely to undergo change; unstable

I found out that I have 3 percent Neanderthal DNA recently. It's not rare but most people don't have any. The Neanderthals interbred with modern humans tens of thousands of years ago but they were here more than a hundred thousand years before modern humans. I feel lucky to have the old one's blood in my veins. But that's another blog.