Woke at 4am feeling a bit turned on. Tried for an orgasm, couldn't do it and fell back to sleep. Woke at 7.30 again and started to let sensations build, again without the aneros. At last I broke through and enjoyed a wonderful pulsing orgasm gripping my pelvis with each wave. I tried my hardest to relax and enjoy it and let it take me. I have real trouble relaxing when in an orgasm I think it's the next thing I have to learn. This time was better than last night but it did fizzle out after only about 10 minutes.
I really feel that I need to practice meditation and learn how to fully relax, I know that there is more pleasure lying in wait for me and I am blocked somewhere.