Kundalini stuff

I think I am feeling more changes that are part of my awakening. I'm confused and feeling very low. I have had a few ups and downs but in general felt that I was getting somewhere. Yesterday I started to feel very low indeed and feel as if I have lost something. I can't really put it into words.

Last night I meditated and got the feeling of loneliness, more of a thought really and not a true feeling. I can't make sense of things. Every time I have thought I knew what was happening to me it has turned out completely different. I want to know what is happening. I feel as if I am being selfish feeling like this, it's all about me, and there are people with far worse problems out there. In fact I really don't like myself right now. I have become a pointless waste of space with no emotion just feeling sorry for myself.

I had an orgasm last night, the physical sensations were the same as a super-O, convulsions shot through my whole body but I felt absolutely no pleasure at all, absolutely nothing. I was dead from the waist down. I have got problems.

I suppose I just have to go with this. I really can't put it into words it's a hopeless muddle of negative thoughts and lack of emotion. I can't 'feel' it at all I'm just dead.

Source: https://www.aneros.com/blogs/kundalini-stuff/