(Long post warning!)
Ok this may sound like a bit of a rant, but bear with me, I’m just really frustrated.
Started with reading about this awesome prostate stimulation. Bought a Helix. Stuck it in, waited. Felt good, some contractions, some waves, but nothing to write home about. Wanked to a (better) shot, rinse and repeat. Did kegels, can shoot pretty far and generally enjoy it.
This went on for about a year and since the “journey” never led to anything spectacular, I decided that I was probably incapable of having my p-moment. Ok, no biggie.
Then I ended up having a tantric session while travelling and had most awesome 90 minutes of my life. Five or six handsfree dry orgasms purely from prostate stimulation, waves of pleasure and awesome euphoria. So, I figured, I can do it!
Since then I spent close to a grand on all sorts of gear, Helix, Progasm, Revo 2, Pure Wand. With or without vibro. With or without lube. Porn or no porn. Contractions or do nothing. On all fours or on the back…. you name it, I probably done it.
Nothing. Not a single fuckng thing. What’s worse, even whatever good feelings I used to have at the beginning are not there anymore. I stick the Helix in and wait. Breathe. Nothing. Not even a tingle.
Go asking on forums and get answers like oh you know…. you need to connect with yourself… let go… meaning of life… energy… blah-blah-blah. Or better still: you should start smoking weed or drop acid, will definitely help.
Thing is, I’m not looking for the meaning of life, not in my anus anyway. And I’m not going to start doing drugs to get there. I just want to get off.
Any advice?
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/5lq4em/frustrated/
Obviously you have a lot of toys which is great but my advise would be to pick one and stick with it for a couple of months. Each toy requires a certain level of mastering that will be harder if you’re constantly swapping.
You have overloaded your system. The body can only take so much pleasure before it shuts down. You’ve also allowed yourself to become too obsessed with the good feelings. When one chases the Super O, one never catches the Super O. Your attitude of just wanting to get off will not serve you well.
You will never be able to recreate the 90 minute waves of pleasure that you felt. Should you chase it, you’re no different than a junkie chasing his first high. The 90 minute waves of pleasure proved that you were on the proper path. You should have embraced that experience, let it go, and moved on to the next experience. Maybe you should take a lengthy break. The mind controls the experience, not the toy.
You need a partner to assist. You’re doing it wrong.
I can only give you advice based on my personal experience. But, when you put the Helix in and lay there, try just laying flat on your back with legs down. Put a pillow under your hips if the handle is catching on your bed. Then, just leave it in for like 10 minutes and relax and get used to it. Then, really really take stock of all your muscles in your pelvic region. Notice any tensing your are doing – no matter how small. I feel like the key to super-O is sessions building on each other over weeks/months. It takes a long time to realize how much your body is tensing around the aneros. It is tensing because it’s a strange object, but more so because you are bracing yourself for pleasure. It sounds strange, but you are physcially tensing micro-muscles to sort of prevent the pleasure. You need to be able to feel all your muscles and then you can begin to relax them as you notice them tensing. And after you get good at this, then you can stretch your noticing/relaxing of all muscles to your core. And then you can breath through things and stop bracing for pleasure and just let it roll.
Typically, how frequently do you masturbate normally, and ejaculate? Going like two weeks without that, and then having an aneros session would be something simple to try.
Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet, magical advice anyone an give you that will work for you. The reason advice on using an Aneros is generally somewhat vague/abstract is that everyone is different, and gets aroused by different things and in different ways. An Aneros is ultimately an arousal amplification device, and requires the right state of body and mind to be effective.
Put it this way, forgetting the aneros for a second, can you lie down, relax, think about things which arouse you, and give yourself an erection? Can you continue to think about these things, not touching your penis (although, maybe touching your nipples, asshole, or other parts of your body), and get yourself really worked up and horny? If not, work on that first. Figure out what arouses you. As I mentioned above, try taking a break from normal masturbation (and porn). Only begin using your Aneros again once you’ve figured that out. In fact, even when you do start using your Aneros again, it’s a good idea to spend 10-15 minutes mentally arousing yourself like this before you even insert it – being aroused before you start is very important IME.
Good luck!