Kindling the Fire

The following is yet another set of tips for novice and/or frustrated Aneros users. I’m not the yokozuna of prostate play or anything, but I’ve collected a handful of habits that seem to afford me consistent success with different models. I don’t pretend that they’ll work for everyone, not even for most people, but I’ll be glad if they help a few users out, even if indirectly by showing the right attitude and spirit of experimentation to bring to sessions.

1. *Start thinking of your ass primarily as a sexual organ.* Sure, it does impolite things and sometimes even commits atrocities, but so does your mouth, and yet you usually aren’t too hung up over the fact you eat, belch, vomit, cuss, and tell lies with it when you’re kissing someone. As far as you’re concerned, the primary function of your ass is now pleasure; all that other business is a regrettable sideshow, and should be far from your mind as you experiment. I encourage you to try other things back there: fingers, someone’s tongue, someone’s dick. Build up a whole armada of toys.

2. *Learn patience and how patience can be erotic.* A practical way of enforcing this patience is to insert the toy and not allow yourself to contract voluntarily for the first ten minutes, as many users here recommend. On the one hand, doing so allows you to relax and become comfortable, not only with the mild stretching (in case you haven’t been shoving whatever phallic household miscellany you can find up there since you were thirteen and confused, so very confused), but also with the handle and/or tab(s), which can be distracting at first. On the other hand, this patience can prime you to enjoy healthy anticipation instead of unhealthy expectation; to pay careful attention to your body (if you get involuntary contractions before the end of the ten minutes, you’re already on your way); and to appreciate passive pleasure (more on which further below).

3. *Learn to be grateful, not greedy.* There are dozens of iterations of this idea on this forum already, but during a session it can be easy to forget, especially when the sensations begin. Focusing on enjoying what you are feeling instead of what you want to feel is useful for several reasons. Practically speaking, it turns your attention toward the present and helps focus your attention on what are, at first, subtle and novel sensations. In a larger sense, it gets you out of the habit of expecting the linear intensification and predictable climax that attend penile masturbation, which could easily lead to frustration, the king anaphrodisiac.

4. *Approach your sessions with confidence.* So many disheartened users convince themselves that their anatomy is somehow unique and that therefore the toy does not fit them correctly. As the waves of radiation continue to spread east from Fukushima and come ashore California, I’m sure someday a gargantuan young man will grow up and wish very eagerly to stimulate his prostate, and he will have to wipe a tear from his fifth eye as even the Progasm model is not large enough to reach the apple-sized gland deep within his disconcertingly vast rectum, but I am willing to bet you are not he; you simply have not attuned yourself to your prostate. Time, patience, and practice are the answer—you are not the radioactive exception.

5. *Do not get too caught up in other users’ tips and experiences,* including mine. Firstly, all these descriptions of mattress-destructively pleasurable experiences and borderline esoteric techniques for reaching them will lead to frustration if taken too seriously, and frustration, as I said above, is the biggest roadblock to pleasure. Secondly, you will most likely succeed if your mind is as empty as possible; I am heading all these tips with simple italicized formulations so that they’re not distracting to recall mid-session. Lastly, at least one user on these forums uses Aneros to masturbate metaphorically by posing as some kind of prostate guru. He regularly talks down to other users here, decides his methods will work for everyone, and speaks as if he knows how others people’s bodies and minds work. I hope everyone will start ignoring him so that he goes away, since he seems to get off on asserting his unfathomable anal prowess over everyone else’s. I think he types his posts here with the Aneros inserted, and whispers to it before he goes to sleep at night, alone as always.

6. *Bring “canned” fantasies to your sessions.* Many users find that mental stimulation, like watching pornography or simply fantasizing, helps to kick-start their sessions because arousal makes the prostate swell. I find that I have to keep my mind empty until the sensations start, and only then can I start fantasizing, which by that point usually takes me from making strange faces and flexing moderately to saying things that make absolutely no goddamned sense while writhing as if ghosts were stomping my organs. In either case, having a lengthy, indulgent fantasy already scripted in your head is easier and yields better returns than trying to make one up while you have what looks like a futuristic shuriken or one of the Unown Pokémon in your ass.

7. *Learn to appreciate passive pleasure.* “Straight man want orgasm. Straight man fuck hole! STRAIGHT MAN DESTROY HOLE! Hole not work? STRAIGHT MAN FUCK HARDER.” Others have said it, but it bears repeating: the very idea of a prostate “orgasm” makes most beginners try to draw misleading parallels between what they can do with their dicks and what they want to do with their asses, or at least their prostates. There is a time and a place for going Jackhammer Level Ten on an ass, but it’s not with the Aneros; trying to go harder or faster will accomplish nothing. You will likely do better to put yourself in a state of mind that is in some ways more similar to receiving a massage than it is to jerking off. Learning to enjoy the loss of control involved—especially once the pleasure intensifies—can be incredibly erotic. All the bottoms reading this paragraph are, I’m sure, rolling their eyes and filing their nails: “Tell us something we don’t know.”

8. *A good session is not unlike meditation.* From the moment of insertion and on through the strange mountains and valleys of orgasm, maintaining a calm but persistent focus on sensation—and keeping out unrelated thoughts—is essential. Those sensations may be unexpected. For instance, instead of feeling your prostate stimulated directly, you may feel waves of warmth throughout your body, coupled with a strong urge to stretch or flex. If you focus calmly on those feelings (breathing evenly) and use them to affirm that the toy is working (confidence!), you will likely find that the feelings soon intensify. If you start contracting like a maniac or overthinking, you will likely find that the feelings recede. Honestly, I object to the term “rewiring” because I believe what happens isn’t rewiring so much as just plain “wiring.” If you have, for example, played piano for some time and spent several hours each day for several weeks practicing, then you have noticed that you start to become strangely aware of each of your fingers; you feel that your brain is dedicating more space to their function, and that you can manipulate them with greater independence and exactness; they don’t become rewired so much as further wired (the thumb and index) or wired in the first place (the other three). I have strong color synesthesia (with music, with numbers, with words, with anything I have to memorize), and I’ve noticed that when I first become aware of the sensations early in a session, I see this kind of blue-white color in my mind. I’ve found it useful to focus on that color, and to notice how it changes as the sensations develop. Now, even if you don’t have synesthesia, notice the kind of mental habits here: I find success by being curious about different sensations, learning to distinguish between them, and focusing on them. It sounds crazy, I’m sure—all of these points probably do to some extent—but they do consistently work for me. And anyway, we’re all here because we put expensive technology in our asses.

P.S.: If clarification would be useful on any point, I’ll answer questions in the comments.