I first heard of the fabled hands-free orgasm about 10 years ago while chatting on IRC. An eccentric guy I chatted with occasionally claimed that he could have orgasms while receiving anal sex from his partner without any stimulation to his penis, and then afterward could come again while fucking his boyfriend. He took this magical ability for granted, seeming very surprised that I could not accomplish the same feat.
I tried to get him to explain how it worked, but the best he could manage was a vague description of “pushing” somehow while being penetrated. I honestly wasn’t sure he wasn’t just making things up. It seemed too good to be true. Everyone knows that guys can only come once and that they have to wait out the refactory period before they can have another orgasm, right? And climaxing without touching your cock is a fantasy acted out in porn but seldom found in the real world, isn’t it?
That’s what I thought anyway at the time. I dismissed his stories as unrealistic after being unable to get even close to what he described. But I never forgot those stories or the subtle hunger I had to experience those things.
Fast forward several years. I found myself in a stable and happy relationship. Well, mostly happy. My sex life was not everything I had ever dreamed it would be. I was sexually frustrated and unable to communicate this very well to my partner. We still struggle with communication regarding sex, but that’s another story. In any case, I decided that if I wanted to be more sexually satisfied, I’d have to take matters into my own hands. Literally. I was and am fully committed to my partner (now husband), and we are monogamous, so finding other playmates was not an option I was willing to consider. Masturbation was going to have to my main source of erotic satisfaction. But my usual five minute handy in the shower wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
So I started searching online for techniques and guides and what have you. Most of what I found was not particularly useful to me. But I stumbled across some references to male multiple orgasms and that intrigued me. If I could have multiple orgasms in a single session, that could solve my problem. In fact, wouldn’t it make the less-frequent-than-desired occurences of sex with my partner more satisfying, too?
So I kept hunting and finally discovered a PDF of Mantak Chia’s book “The Multi-Orgasmic Man.” I read the whole thing, desperate for the secrets I hoped in held. Unfortunately, and anyone who has read it would probably agree, the book was more like a text-based infomercial than the instruction manual I was hoping for. There are even periodic testimonials from satisfied customers. It seems like the book is more a sales pitch for Mr Chia’s seminars than anything.
There are some nuggets of wisdom one can glean from that text. He describes a few techniques for delaying ejaculation, including different variations of Kegel exercises and breathing techniques. It isn’t completely useless, but it also had much more of a mystical bent to it than I could really stomach. I don’t mean to disparage anyone’s beliefs or say that people cannot treat sex as a spiritual experience. I simply mean that I was hoping for more science than faith; more instruction in how to do it than testimony of how great it is when you figure it out.
I became somewhat obsessed in my quest to have multiple orgasms. I tried the techniques from the book and, perhaps, had some success. I have in the years since had occasions where I could ramp myself up to just before the point of no return and experience what was maybe an orgasm and just manage to back off from the point of ejaculating. And while each successive maybe-orgasm seemed a little stronger and felt a bit better each time, they left me hungry for the release of ejaculation. Despite the encouragement from the book to NOT ejaculate, I’d almost always lose control and go too far. “Just one more try and then I’ll stop” usually led to a big sticky mess.
These final ejaculatory orgasms were certainly more pleasurable than those I typically experienced after a quickie jerk off session, but whether that was due to the preceding mini-orgasms or just due to the build up of arousal from teasing myself that way, I couldn’t be sure. I was employing pelvic floor exercises, both as a way of ramping up my sexual tension and to hold back ejaculation, so it’s possible that I was in fact triggering small orgasms by stimulating my prostate with my PC muscles.
After a while, my obsession faded. It has renewed itself periodically in the years since, but I never manage to get more than a few hard-won mini-o’s before losing control and passing the point of no return. This method of attempting to obtain non-ejaculatory orgasms seems, for me, too difficult to achieve the results I’m seeking.
Fast forward again to a few weeks ago when I began once again to wish for something “more” in my sex life. It’s not that I’m not fairly satisfied with my sex life. Things have slowly begun to improve in the bedroom with my spouse, and I’m encouraged by that progress. It is in part because of those small changes that I’m becoming more adventurous again.
I searched again for information on male multiple orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms, etc., and found that there is a lot more readily available information on this subject now. Hurrah! Unfortunately some of it is still pretty vague, and some sites seem more geared toward selling products or apps than really helping men achieve their goals on their own. For example, one site with pretty good information on the subject really pushes pretty hard on selling an app for Kegel exercise routines, promising that following the program only available through the $2.99 app will lead to amazing non-ejaculatory orgasms and increased stamina in bed. I have no doubt that exercising my PC muscles and such will help with that, but I dislike the pay-to-play nature of the advice given.
I tried practicing Kegels and trying various combinations of contractions and breathing and other methods while masturbating, but it amounted to more or less the same results as before. Interesting, but not as amazing as I hoped. Maybe I just haven’t had enough patience and dedication. Or maybe what I’ve tried so far has been too penis-focused.
Which lead me to seek out information specifically about prostate orgasms. I remembered my online friend and his claims of hands-free orgasms and thought maybe it was time to give that a go. So I started reading reviews of prostate massagers, anal vibrators, and other toys. I very quickly found reviews of Aneros toys, but I thought for sure I’d want something that vibrates, and the Vice is pretty pricey. I looked at the non-vibrating Aneros models in the reviews and thought, “Why would I want something that is just a hard chunk of plastic? It isn’t even shaped like a penis either!” I also misunderstood the use of Aneros devices, thinking that the ring handle was used to manually force the head of the device against the prostate. I can do that to myself with any old toy, so why would I pay ~$50 for something like that? Or more, considering the few Aneros options on Amazon are bundled with some lube and cost extra because of it. I had, at this point, not looked at Aneros’s website directly, and on Amazon, a Helix Syn with a bottle of Migliori silicone lube is $89.95! What a rip-off!
So I bought a vibrating toy instead for just under $30. It’s a pretty nice toy for the price, actually. Multiple vibration patterns, a secondary vibration point that rest against the perineum, a remote, a rechargeable battery that lasts at least a couple of hours. And a third the price of that Helix Syn bundle. For $30, I could try it and if I hated it, not such a big loss.
As I said, it’s a pretty good toy and I have enjoyed using it. I put it in and let it buzz away. I think at times I have felt the beginnings of miniature orgasms, which is exciting. Just a sense of warmth and perhaps pressure as my prostate swells. But it has not been enough to get me all the way to orgasms. It sure feels good to have a normal ejaculatory orgasm while using it. But it’s not quite what I was hoping for. For one thing, the neck of the device is too flexible and so it doesn’t put enough pressure on my prostate. I still get a bit of a buzz through the rectal wall, but not as much as I’d prefer. And despite originally thinking I’d prefer something that vibrates, I have found that after a while the vibrations have a numbing effect, and if I use it too long before coming, my orgasm feels muted instead of amplified.
So, somewhat disappointed, though not dissatisfied with my purchase, I went back to my search and decided to give Aneros a closer look. The reviews I had read before were glowing, and since I had realized that vibration may not be all I had thought it would be, maybe it was time to try something else.
When I started reading more about Aneros massagers, I quickly discovered that I had gotten the wrong idea about them. The curly handle was NOT meant for manipulating the device while it was lodged in one’s anus. Apparently one simply uses one’s pelvic floor and and anal sphincter muscles to move the device and force it against the prostate. And then further reading showed that even that was something of a misconception. I had thought that it was going to be a matter of consciously flexing muscles in rhythm and with high intensity until I had orgasms. But now it seems as though the goal is to trick one’s body into doing all the work automatically! Wow, does that sound interesting!
I have spent the last week or so reading the Aneros wiki and forum posts and now feel like I have a very good theoretical understanding of the usage of the Aneros massager. I’ve read about different people’s techniques and routines. I’m intrigued and excited by the stories of guys’ first Super-O’s, and I can hardly wait to start my own journey.
I had a hard time deciding which model to begin with. After reading reviews of various Trident models, I decided to go with one of those. The k-tab seems more useful than the goofy handle, especially since some people have said they cut theirs off to get it out of the way. Several reviewers stated that the Trident models are definitely an upgrade and get them to their super-O’s more rapidly. I still didn’t know which among the Trident line to pick and eventually settled on the Helix. I almost picked the Maximus, and I suspect that if all goes well I may get a Maximus some day.
From what I have read, I believe the best approach for me will be to begin with the “do nothing” method. This is because I tend to be a very goal-oriented person, and I think that will actually be quite counter-productive. I have read numerous accounts of guys who feel like they’re almost “there” and then they spoil it by contracting at the wrong time, which simply chases the orgasm away. So my focus will be on relaxation and mindful observation of my body and the sensations triggered by the action of the device.
My Helix trident just arrived as I was writing this. I don’t know when I’ll have the time to test it out. I’m going to bring it with me on my vacation, but I don’t know that I’ll have the alone time I’ll need to really experiment with it. My husband knows I bought it, but I haven’t explained to him how it works or the amount of time it takes to enjoy a session with it. So we’ll see!
If you’ve read this far, congratulations. This was a long and rambling post. Hope you got something out of it!
Source: https://www.aneros.com/blogs/some-history/