Tips for the struggling/beginners

First of all I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I have a strong feeling these tips will work for more than just myself. Excuse me if my thought organization is all over the place. This is a draft and I was just excited to post it asap.

* Relaxation and proper breathing is important. It’s a good idea to take up meditation if you want to improve on this and meditation is useful for much more that just this actually (same thing goes for cardio and resistance training). If you’re constantly in a daze, you’re in for a long game. If you’re the deathgrip type you’re also in for a long game. I do some meditative breathing while in an alternating cold and hot shower. Any impulse to jerk backward from the water being too cold or too hot is taken note of, to which I relax completely into it as a response. Shower temperatures are regulated, and they aren’t hot enough to burn or cold enough to freeze so there’s nothing to worry about. Relaxing into it can feel amazing. FORCE NOTHING.

* Do some yoga-like flexibility stretches and be sure to breathe into your balls or even into your toes with every breath. You know, the kind of deep breath that might make you shake/twitch slightly. I was confused at first that I had to pull/push my anus and breathe as two seperate movements; I totally forgot that if you breathe in deeply enough it does so on its own and feels a lot better. If you don’t twitch a little you might be doing it wrong. Relax into the position like you’re trying to fall asleep. See how much you can relax into the position before you fall over, which shouldn’t be hard if you’re in okay shape.

* I found that p-waves are sometimes misunderstood as uncomfortable tensions and I sometimes fight against it by unrelaxing. It’s the ‘I’m in a rush’ impulse. I might just be an anxious fucker a lot of the time because I tense up at almost anything. Don’t be a little bitch to everything that touches you. Be aware of when you might do this and act accordingly (as in STOP THAT). This is what I imagine the ‘do nothing’ technique is about.

* One thing you could do is go for the most sensitive area (your glans/meatus) and play with it roughly or semi-roughly and try to maintain relaxation until it stop making you twitch uncomfortably, or at least get as close to complete relaxation as you can while doing it. Figure out how to flex and activate individual muscles in your body without the having other muscles jump in unnecessarily.

* Clean yourself. Note that doing a douche/enema/water cleansing of your anal canal will make it harder to relax for a while so get that done hours in advance. After you’ve done all the cleaning you need to do (showering/bowel cleansing/bladder release), it’s a great idea to start with your fingers. Don not shove. Play with the asshole delicately to start (if you’re hairy you want to feel the individual hairs tickle, that’s how delicately), the way you would nipples or a pussy (stop being so judgmental and just do it.) breathe deeply while you do so (see tip 1) so that the asshole relaxes naturally. There are guides that go into more detail but it’s best to explore by yourself. Some really nice sensations usually precede the relaxation. If people are able to shove fists in their ass without any strain or pain, you should be able to do so with a finger. It should relax enough to slide in without any forceful pressure at all. It’ll get devoured on its own.

* The other reason to use your fingers is so you can feel the subtle twitching your muscles down there will make. A lo0t of you guys complain about not feeling anything and I’m here to tell you that you’re just a beginner and the contractions are probably too subtle for you to feel with the toy. in fact, that might be because the toy is ‘too big’! instead of too small like you might think. I know I personally wasn’t able to detect these twitches on their own or from just using the Aneros. They were a lot more subtle than I thought they would be. So I suggest using just your lubed up fingers for a while. No external objects at all.

* If you’ve gotten your finger inside at this point, notice any sign of your asshole squeezing back on your finger and FREEZE! Allow yourself to relax again…and then keep going. **FORCE NOTHING.** Pain = no gain in this scenario.

* You might do well with some muscle relaxers such as massages, showering (hot and cold), baths, weed, poppers (great for relaxing the ass muscles and short-term arousal—but we all know you can’t get a prostate orgasm in short-term conditions—but try to avoid this one if you want to breathe properly), or L-Theanine. Consider psychoactive substances as a last resort. Don’t be so fucking impatient.

* Be aroused or prepare for a waste of time. Do whatever it takes to get you in that quivering mood. When you’re in that quivering mood you may need to relax (I know I can get pretty shaky like I’m in a freezer and if you do too, see tip 1) and allow the energy to flow. Dudes say never touch your dick but tbh fuck that. Maybe they just have no self-control or something; you do because you’re a fucking boss. Just do it if you’re struggling. Touch anything you like. Especially if you aren’t aroused yet. But be light about it, ‘teasing’ if you will. When that gets boring give yourself a break from that. Maybe step away from any kind of masturbation all together and then try for the ass games later on.

* Try many positions. Today I found my favorite positions are when my head is lower than my ass or upside down in some way. It might change later but right now this is the spot for me. I think it’s because the blood rushes to my head (blah blah blah the mind is the biggest sex organ) it gives my pelvic floor and diaphragm more room and to expand when I breathe. Other positions make me breathe too shallowly and through my chest instead of stomach/diaphragm/balls

Let me know if any clarification is needed.