The title. I feel like starting kegels would go a long way but can’t help but feel it seems counterintuitive – if I’m not going to be using a muscle, why does it need to be stronger? Isn’t the point of involuntaries the fact that the muscles get tired and start to flutter? Won’t making them stronger make that harder to happen?
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I think in my case the added strength increased my ability to exercise precise control of the muscles and also helped me develop independent control.
It’s about how when muscles are toned, they’re easier to control. It’s easier to get right to certain points where you have a good idea of what feeling to expect. When you find the point where the involuntaries start to kick in, you’ll also have the discipline to resist the urge to assist (or counter) the movements, and just let the involuntaries take over.
When you sit at a barstool you’re relaxed. Sure, you might put your elbows on the bar on occasion, but you’re sat upright, typically with your back relatively straight. If you “relaxed” with the definition you’re describing, you’d fall off the seat and be a completely limp body on the floor in seconds. The goal with the prostate is to “relax at the bar.” It’s not to say that your muscles shouldn’t be engaged at all, but rather that they’re not “tight” the same way you could tighten your back when sitting upright. They’re not unengaged, just relaxed.
As you might imagine, it’s easier for the person with a toned, healthy body to sit at the bar than it is for a person who’s generally out of shape or has back issues. Ironically, having stronger muscles allows for you to relax MORE in that case and it’s exactly the same for kegals.
They only help me if I pull the contractions so light it’s almost nothing, my prostate then takes over and I have strong contractions followed by Awesome orgasms for hours at a time.