If you know the old joke, the title makes sense.
So, uh, I broke my asshole. Without going into a great amount of detail, it turns out that my family has a predisposition for hemorrhoids. I was unaware of this when I began experimenting with prostate play. I purchased a Helix Syn, did my thing a few times. It was pleasurable enough, and I used plenty of lube, took my time with the stretch and all of that. At any rate, I apparently have some weak rectal walls, and had a fairly significant O-Ring blowout. After having a Hemorrhoidectomy a few days ago, I'm laying on my side for few days, bored on reddit.
That brings us here. I'm not warning you of the dangers of butt play, far from it actually. No doubt many of you have steel-walled pleasure holes that put goatse to shame.
No, no. I'm offering one of you kinky fuckers the chance to own a genuine +1 Aneros of Butt Destruction. If you haven't guessed, I'm never going to use it again, and I have a feeling that someone here is going to really get off on my misfortune, and blow a big old load thinking about my stitched up sphincter.
It's silicone, so you can disinfect it if you're concerned, and if you want to see what it destroyed, check out my profile. PM me with an offer, if you're interested (at least shipping, you cheap bastard). No, I don't want to kik you, or jerk off together, just get my anal abuser out of my home, and into yours.