Author: smudgefish

Sleep paralysis, not enough orgasms

Last night was a downer. I was good and did as I was told. No orgasm.
At 1 am I had a very scary sleep paralysis. I felt like my arm had become a snake. Bit weird.

Still looking after a sick child whilst wife goes out for the day again. I manage 20 minutes maximum to myself and have taken to pretending to read on the bed to get some time alone.
I must have been desperate I had one orgasm today and got into it within 30 seconds of trying, but got disturbed by children again so it was disappointing. I couldn't get back into it after. This is supposed to be my week off work I have done nothing but be stuck in the house looking after children, the wife has been out most of the time, and she's out again tonight. Back to work soon and 14 hour days. Fun.

Amazed, and disappointed

Last night I had an hour and a half of mind blowing orgasms. I'm feeling totally energised, turned on and ready for more. My wife is going out all day, my children should be at school and I was looking forward to spending a day on my own for the first time in months.
My eldest daughter has a fever so she's staying off school and I have to look after her all day. So much for a day of orgasmic bliss, and I could actually have been naked for the first time I usually have to be fully clothed; I have never been so disappointed. Oh well, that's life I suppose.

Last night I had a 30 minute orgasm before going to sleep. It was mostly a hard thrusting sort of orgasm going on and on like a normal orgasm but more intense and never ending. I love to imagine myself having sex and cumming and cumming inside someone my sperm dripping out and down my legs and I just keep going and going and cumming, and it just gets better and better, I almost feel like an animal out of control. It's a powerful fantasy for me at the moment.
I woke at 4am feeling very turned on and had a full hour of orgasms ranging from had pumping ones to times of just peaceful continuous orgasm, followed by an orgasm starting in my sacrum spreading up to my lower spine then around into my abdomen. I though it might be a Full Kundalini rising but it felt so good I couldn't stop it. I sort of knew it wasn't so just enjoyed it.
I can't believe how much pleasure this is giving me.

The Heart Chakra opens, and a super-O!

Woke early and had a good orgasm. I'm sure it was going to be a big one, but my wife suddenly woke up as I was going into it and got out of bed, which slightly threw me and I lost concentration but it was still good.

I was sitting listening to some music before having a shower, I find Angels and Airwaves )probably not everyone's cup of tea( very uplifting and quite 'spiritual'. I listened to one of my favourite tracks and felt very happy and full of life, but didn't think too much of it. I then went into the shower. Out of the blue I started to feel a great sense of being very loved, but more a sense of loving myself more than anything, and a sense that something almost like God )I am absolutely not religious( had given me something very special. I felt energy pouring out of my chest and above all I felt deeply grateful for everything, then I started crying in a very happy way. The pressure I have felt on my upper chest for days vanished and I was able to breathe properly again. The family were around in the house so I didn't allow myself to sink into it too much but I could have probably sobbed myself silly with the feeling of gratitude. Read more »

Quiet, but nice

I'm meditating regularly. Yesterday I was circulating energy into my sacrum and up my spine, I suddenly got an immense surge in my lower back during the day, I thought at last the real Kundalini is on its way, and was able to meditate immediately and I concentrated on the feeling. It became very powerful but nothing broke through. I really think that I have to be careful.
My theory is that my original experience was forced in that I pushed energy up through my chest and into my head and triggered a partial Kundalini. It went through the wrong channel rather than rising up my spine.
The lesson learnt from yesterday is that you can't force it, much like trying to force an orgasm. If I am not ready for it, I am not ready for it. I have decided that it will happen naturally if I work on meditation, relaxation and positivity. It might take years but it will come when it is ready.

I'm also having slight difficulty with dry O's again. I'm sure it's because I tried to force a Kundalini yesterday and I have put things out of balance again. I certainly haven't got anywhere near a super-O again yet. I feel like it's a prize waiting for me once I have balanced myself sufficiently and it will happen when I have truly given in and accepted myself and that I'm not in control. Read more »

Quiet at last

Well, I can now get into an orgasm again at will. I seem to be getting closer to having a SuperO again, it felt as if I was almost having one last time but I still don't think it really was. I can't stop lying there analysing as I orgasm so once I stop doing that it will probably happen.

All the Kundalini awakening stuff seems to have stopped now and I feel rather back to normal. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not as I was sort of expecting to feel different forever. Some of the manic phases were rather good if not slightly out of control. I suppose only time will tell. I was even quite grumpy at work yesterday just like normal.
I sort of suspect that once I start superO-ing again it will re-energise things and hopefully this time I can control it. I'm meditating regularly to get myself ready, it would be nice to find someone to teach me more about how to use the energy but I don't really know where to start.

Almost super-O again

I'm managing to get to orgasm again easily now. I had forgotten how intense a super-O was until tonight although I still didn't actually have one I was on the verge of it for ages – it was painful feeling the full intensity of one just about to happen, it reminded me of how good they were, but it just didn't quite get there.
Whilst I would have loved to feel it burst out and I'm sad that it didn't, I really could feel the power there and I was probably willing it too hard rather than just allowing it to happen. It's exciting that I have got so close again and I'm sure next time it will happen. It's strange that I thought I was having super-Os again but this has made me realise that without any doubt I am not.
This is really exciting. I feel a bit like I did when I just couldn't even to into an orgasm at all, but not so disappointed just excited that there is so much more just about to happen.

Bit tired

Despite almost being at the point of falling asleep standing up last night I felt turned on and had to try to get a quick orgasm before I went to sleep. I did quite quickly slip into an Aless orgasm. It was a very subdued affair, my frazzled brain was not able to concentrate on keeping it going and it felt a bit like a 'quickie' very nice in its own way, and it ticked a box. I am still amazed how these prostate orgasms are so satisfying despite no ejaculation.

Lack of sleep and long hours at work make it impossible to have a really good orgasm. I just can't wait until I have a week off work next week, catch up on sleep, get some exercise, and feel more normal because then I will be able to actually enjoy some proper super-Os again )well I hope so anyway(.

Things are moving fast

Last night was unbelievable! I felt so stressed that the moment I got the opportunity I meditated and sank into a deep meditative state nothing like I have achieved before. I added some Mula Bandha and felt an immediate intense feeling of being on the edge of orgasm. My wife came to bed and I was feeling electric, and sank very quickly into a lovely Aless orgasm that lasted about 20 minutes, again very controlled and maybe not hitting any major highs but otherwise intense and satisfying.
I thought I would go to sleep but of course I was feeling alert and euphoric and could not sleep. I allowed myself to have another orgasm, and found that using the P spot really helps in fact it was fascinating feeling everything spasm as I entered orgasm. It didn’t last long it was slightly different to anything I have had before my whole body tensed, stayed tense, and just orgasmed for several minutes. I was so tired I couldn’t concentrate any longer and masturbated and ejaculated for the first time in about a week. I still felt electrified and couldn’t sleep.
I woke at 4am feeling very turned on after only a few hours sleep. I stayed on the edge of orgasm for ages but it didn’t happen, I was probably too tired, then I fell asleep for an hour. When I got up I was completely euphoric, I couldn’t help smiling and laughing maybe slightly inappropriately but I felt great. Read more »

Intense

Yesterday was a very intense day. My first dry orgasm for ages, a state of ecstacy during the day and almost a full Kundalini experience out of nowhere.
Then it went quiet. I felt very stressed as if all my progress over the last week was for nothing. My children were misbehaving, one developed a fever. I tried for another orgasm last night but couldn't relax into it. My wife was very stressed and I could feel it and that didn't help, disappointment set in again.
I couldn't sleep and now I'm tired at the start of a 60 hour work week.
Yesterday I was flying and progressing, now I'm grounded but not in a spiritual sense. Time to relax and see what happens it's probably all for a purpose.

It happened at last!

Last night I had my first proper dry orgasm for over a week! Emotionally it was the most satisfying I have ever had and I felt euphoric I couldn't do anything but lie and think 'wow' when it finally settled down. I just lay there the whole time thinking 'thank you, thank you' and enjoyed the wonderful sensations take hold of me again. Whether it was a super-O I don't care it was just beautiful whatever it was.
I'm not going to analyse any more. It happened again, at last, and I think I deserved it, and I appreciated it more than anything. Whether they will start happening regularly for me again now I don't know.

Yesterday I found out about the Kundalini Syndrome and realised that this is what I had after a super-O where I had purposely pushed the energies up my body and into my head. I was playing around really keen to try other things but had stumbled into something I was not prepared for. Ultimately it has led to me going through a big spiritual awakening and I know now that I put myself totally out of balance.
I have posted about this on the forum ad nauseam.
I know that I was very frightened of re-awakening Kundalini energies, and I know that for me this is dangerous. I know that this is a big part of why I was blocked. Read more »