Sessions 11 and 12

Hello all. I’ve had a couple sessions since I last found time to write. I won’t take a lot of time to write out all the details of each session, but I would like to state some observations I made.

With both sessions, I started out laying on the couch. I like the natural positioning of my body when laying there. It lends itself well to using the Aneros. I have noticed that the angle of my hips and/or the curvature of my lower back affects the sensations I feel. Specifically, it usually seems like having a straighter lower back helps. It feels almost like it aligns my rectum with my anus and allows freer movement. Or it brings my prostate more in contact with the device. Who knows? Sometimes I think that the things I feel are actually not at all what they feel like.

I also have found that I am getting better results lately with the Eupho Trident than with the Helix Trident. I don’t know why, but for now I’m just glad that Aneros had that sale in September and that I got myself the Eupho even though I’d only just purchased my Helix. It seems that things change over time, and I expect that there may be times when the Helix does better for me, or the Progasm. I’ve found that something that works well once won’t necessarily work great the next time, or the time after that.

Sessions 8, 9, and 10

It’s been a while since I posted. I have had a few sessions since my last post. I’ll call it “three” sessions, but two were on the same day. I’ve just been too busy to write about them.

Session 8 was last Wednesday. It was not particularly exciting. Very relaxing, but no particularly powerful sensations. I also fell asleep. I tried some of the things I’d tried in the past and didn’t manage to spark anything exciting. Toward the end of that session, I thought I might be making some progress by just trying to maximize the motion of my Helix Trident using kegel-like motions, but then my time was up and I had to get to work.

Yesterday I decided to try riding my helix incognito on the couch. Usually I wait for alone time, but I didn’t feel like waiting this time, so I tried to ride in the afternoon while pretending to read/nap. It didn’t really work out that well. I did feel some things, but there were just too many distractions. I couldn’t really focus. I did find that the positioning while laying on the couch did have some benefits, so maybe in the future I’ll try laying on the couch again. Something about the angle of my hips or the slope of my back seemed to help the Aneros hit some nice spots.

Session 7

I had a nice long session Sunday afternoon. Actually, even before my session I had some very enjoyable chats in the chat room, including one with a guy who was having a nice A-less session. He was kind enough to share what he was experiencing with me, and reading his descriptions created a sort of echo of the sensations in me. I wasn’t able to perpetuate them, but it was still enjoyable. I really enjoy hearing/reading about others’ Aneros/A-less experiences. I think it helps me learn. The human mind is very good at synthesizing little bits of information into something new and wonderful, and I hope the stories and experiences others relate to me will help me reach new and exciting places on this journey.

After some other interesting chatting, and lunch, I decided to start my session. My husband was out of town, so I had plenty of time to enjoy myself and experiment in different ways, and no deadline. One of the challenges I’ve had with my sessions is feeling like there’s an imaginary egg timer ticking away in my head. Is it time to get ready for work? Is my husband going to be home soon? I usually set an actual timer to make sure I don’t go too long, so I should be able to just relax and enjoy the ride while it lasts. But something in my head won’t just let go. I chatted with several people who said they have the same challenge, so at least I know I’m not alone.

Session 6

I had another session. It wasn’t so much a session as a marathon, or maybe two sessions on either end of “retaining.” I dunno, define it how you like.

I got my Progasm Red Ice and Eupho Trident in the mail. I tried both, as well as using the Helix Trident, during this session. I like all three! I’m still very inexperienced, but they are all very different.

I started Thursday evening with the Eupho Trident. I figured I’d go small to large. I lubed up and inserted it and laid on a towel on the floor. I was on the floor this time instead of the bed because someone I chatted with recommended it. Being on a firm surface gives more control. I am not certain I noticed a difference, but I’m not sure I didn’t either, and I agree with the theory.

The Eupho went in nice and easy, of course. It’s quite narrow. I have fingers fatter than that thing. I laid on my back and relaxed and tried to focus on what I was feeling. I mostly just breathed deeply and concentrated, but I also played with flexing different muscles in different ways to see how it moved. It’s a very agile little device. I think I’m going to very much enjoy learning how to make the most of it. As for this first session, I had low expectations because nearly everyone I have talked to has said it’s a device for experienced users, but I still managed to feel some pleasurable sensations with it. I am getting a little better and feeling where the device is and what it’s doing.

Session 5

I just realized that my last blog post never went through. Usually I write my posts in some other editor because sometimes web forms screw up. Like this time…. when I chose not to take precautions…. Go figure.

So I’ll be brief and try to recapture most of what I tried to say before but much less verbosely than usual because I’m tired and don’t remember everything I said anyway.

So…. Session 5, two days ago, Monday morning. Not a great one. I thought it could be, but it fizzled. I started out pretty aroused, but stress I’ve been experiencing crept in and spoiled it. So I didn’t get much out of the session sensation-wise. But I still learned things and it was relaxing until the end, when I blew it. More on that shortly.

Lesson #1 from this session: having a routine/ritual is helpful. This is something I had read in the wiki and/or forum posts, but someone in the chat reminded me of it by sharing their routine with me. I took a leaf out of his book and imitated some aspects of it. I took a long hot shower. I warmed up with kegels. I did some stretching. All through this I kept my mind on what I was about to do, trying to generate and maintain an erotic mood. And it worked. I will try to keep that up, create a routine that works for me to get me ready for a session.

Session 4

Today’s session was better than Monday’s, but still not quite as good as either of the first two. I think the main reason these last two have not been as good is my level of arousal. I think I must have been more aroused the first two times. I was more aroused today than on Monday, and that helped, but I was also tired. I went to bed late last night, I woke up early this morning, and I exercised more than usual. So I think I was a bit drained as well, which offset some of my arousal.

I did a couple things differently this time:
– I used an eye mask to keep out the daylight. That was helpful. I did see light, but more a “seeing stars” kind of light due to the stimulation I was getting from my Aneros in the more intense bits.
– I warmed the lube and Aneros beforehand. That made things more comfortable in the beginning

I began my session more relaxed than on Monday. This was probably partially just because I was tired, but I also avoided thinking about work or other stress-inducing topics and generally tried to remain relaxed an mellow from the time I took my post-workout shower and the time I began my session. This helped me get “in the zone” more quickly. I was able to shut out the outside world and focus on what my body was feeling. The eye mask helped with this as well.

What Is Success?

In my previous post, I talked a little bit about how I define success. The session I was describing was not, in fact, all that pleasurable. And yet, I consider it a success anyway. Why is that? What does “success” mean, and how do we define the criteria for achieving it?

I began learning to play the violin almost 2 years ago. At first I learned quickly, because there were many “easy” basic things to learn. Progress felt quick and natural. But before long, my seemingly rapid development slowed. I hit a plateau. I couldn’t get my hands and arms to behave. I practiced the same tunes and exercises over and over and made the same mistakes each time. I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. In fact, at times it seemed I was moving backward! And so I became very discouraged and frustrated.

Around this time, I read a book called Brain Rules For Baby. There is also a book by the same author called Brain Rules which is more geared toward adults. I read and highly recommend both. The author, John Medina, is a developmental molecular biologist, so the content is science- and data-based, but the books are very accessible and easy to read.

Session 3

I started my session this morning after exercising, bathing, and practicing my violin. I also checked my work email and went over the more important messages to make my life easier when I got to work. That may have been a mistake, which I’ll get into later.

I lubed up, shooting a little Shibari in as pre-lubrication and applying a dab of Boy Butter H2O on the Helix to ease insertion. I mentioned in an earlier post that I might try this. I’m not sure that the results have been affected by any of the three methods of lubrication I’ve tried. Mobility of the Aneros did not seem limited in any of them. Granted, I have only tried each method once, so it’s hardly scientific. I may try each again and figure out which I prefer.

One thing I think I may try next time is warming the lube and/or the Aneros. The lube was pretty cold and it gave me a bit of a crampy feeling until it reached an equilibrium temperature with my body. Not the most pleasant sensation, and I’d prefer to avoid it in the future. It might have decreased my level of arousal somewhat, and that’s not helpful.

I laid on my back on a towel on my bed, naked except for the glans cover I’ve been using. I thought about foregoing its use this time, but it really does keep the (potential) mess contained, and it helps prevent stimulation to my glans that might be distracting. So I think I’ll probably just continue to use it for the foreseeable future. I pulled the covers over me because the bedroom was cold and tried to relax.

Session 3

I had my second Aneros session this morning. Let me preface my recounting of it with a few admissions of guilt:
– It was a very long session. I went against the advice of more experienced users who recommended sticking closer to 30 minutes. All told, I had my Aneros in for 3.5 hours.
– It was not actually my second time using the Aneros. I slipped it in one other time between this session and the first as a way of increasing arousal during sex with my spouse. But I don’t really count that as a “session” because I wasn’t focused on the specific sensations the Aneros may have been generating. I wasn’t practicing Aneros.
– Which leads to my third and final confession: After having done that, I was advised by someone to keep Aneros sessions and sex with someone else (or masturbation) separate until I had more experience. I think this advice makes sense and I will follow it in the future, but I didn’t follow it this morning.

They say confession is good for the soul. I don’t know about that, really, but I do know that I want this blog to be as truthful and accurate as possible. Maybe others will learn from my experiences. I hope that I will also learn, both by putting the experiences into words, which forces me to think more deeply about them, and by looking back at the mistakes and successes I have along the way. So yes, at the risk of shame and public recrimination, I will freely admit when I do something that may be unwise or counterproductive.