It finally happened but not in the way I was expecting

Long post – sorry…

As the title says I FINALLY hit my first Super O and it wasn’t at all how I thought it would go. I’ve been playing for several years now with varying degrees of success – some sessions are great, some I experience nothing. Still, I kept at it and when I LEAST expected it it finally happened.

I wrapped work up early yesterday and decided to have a session. After a quick 10 – 15 minute meditation to clear my head I popped in my helix syn trident – no porn – just some ambient music to give me something to focus on and zone out.

I’ve noticed that no matter how much I try to not “chase” in the past I always end up chasing and trying too hard to make something happen. Also, I realized I keep expecting it to feel like a traditional, penile orgasm and so I’m probably searching for something that just isn’t going to happen. This week I decided my focus would be entirely on FEELING and LISTENING and being okay with whatever happens while also ignoring any pleasurable feelings that may involve my penis and focusing as much as possible on my prostate.

Nothing actually came of my session other than some light p waves and honestly I was okay with that. However, it finally dawned one me – I’ve been feeling these p waves all along but was failing to recognize / let them build before because as soon as they’d happen I’d clamp down and scare them away, basically. Anyway, I showered up and went along with my day.

Progress update a year into my journey

First I want to say thanks to everyone who contributes to this subreddit – your experiences and tips have been invaluable in my journey and I finally feel like I made some major progress so I wanted to share with you all since I can’t really share with anyone else.

Bought my first Aneros, Helix Syn, last year during my State’s initial COVID closure in March since I’d be home and finally have time to explore. Hadn’t had a ton of success since then: some involuntaries here and there but nothing I’d describe as pleasurable. That all changed yesterday.

Started off my session as per usual – with a bit of porn, nipple rubbing, took a few hits from my vape pen, the works. I really wasn’t focusing a ton on contractions but rather let my prostate dictate to me what it wanted. In the past Ive definitely been guilty of chasing the feelings, despite having read EVERYTHING to the contrary. There really is a mental shift that has to take place. Not just KNOWING to stop chasing/let it happen but actively forcing yourself to SURRENDER. When I finally got in that headspace I turned off the porn and instead of contracting, releasing, rubbing my nipples, watching porn, etc. I just decided to feel whatever happened in my prostate and to concentrate to extend those feelings as long as possible – regardless of whether those feelings were pleasurable or not.