Some background: I’ve been using Aneros on and off since November. I’ve been practicing kegels regularly since then, too. In that time, I’ve had one strong prostate orgasm, a few weak ones, and a lot of “close but not there” frustration. The strong orgasm I had happened maybe a month in while drunk and I had very little idea what I was doing or what was working. I couldn’t replicate it at all.
I was frustrated that I had to fantasize hard or really focus on porn to feel like I’m getting “close”, or that I had to drink or be on some other substance. The former is a bit of a strain and the latter is not something you want to make a habit.
Now, I’ve been spending a few hours on Aneros each day since Friday, and I haven’t masturbated since last Tuesday. I think that helped. I use the Aneros Helix Syn with a fairly large amount of lube (I use a lube shooter). I didn’t do any special relaxation technique, nor did I try any nipple play.
What finally worked for me was:
1. Sitting on the bed, knees bent and up, legs kind of spread outward so your knees can be together without them tipping over
2. Listening to music. Any music on youtube that claims to be good for meditating, relaxing, or focusing should be fine. I think it helps keep part of your brain occupied