Update

My doctor decided to take me off the meds as my BP and Cholesterol did not test out any lower. Funny thing is, now off the meds my BP is averaging a little lower and my cholesterol is testing lower too 🙂 But then I’ve been getting quite a bit more exercise. Wife and I have decided to continue with the sexless marriage, at least until she is totally done with her perimenopause phase – which has been going on for years. Once she goes into true menopause, then there will be no need for birth control eg condoms and we may both feel like re-starting things – especially Karezza as it would be easier on her – given dryness. Truth be told, I am actually turned on by the sexless marriage thing – it fans my homoerotic side somehow 🙂 Right now I would like to explore my bi side online with other like minded men of a similar age and in a similar situation.

saw doctor

This morning I saw my doctor. Last time I had seen my doctor she had mentioned about blood pressure medication and cholesterol medication and wanted me to think it over. My doctor has been aware for years of the fact that my wife and I have a statistically sexless marriage and she is aware – and approves – of my aneros use. Having reviewed things with me, she noted that the only downside to taking these medications would be a strong possibility of ED. A statistical sexless marriage is one thing less than 10 times per years. An absolute sexless marriage is something else. My wife and I had been averaging 2 to 4 times per year for many years now.

So I informed my doctor that recently my wife and I decided to discontinue sex altogether. I said it was my idea, my offer and my wife readily agreed. I told my doctor that my health was more important than getting hard, when quite frankly I had no use or need for an erection. My doctor told me that it might reduce my libido as well. I told her I was fine with that.

So now I have a couple prescriptions.

The Joy continues

Last night my wife and I talked – I reminded her we last made love in March and here it is late October. She reminded me of her perimenopause into menopause phase that she has been stuck in for the last 5 or 6 years, and that it could last another five years, maybe more. She said to be honest she has no interest in sex other than private masturbation. I told her from my perspective the connection was the most part, and she agreed. So I made her an offer. We abandon sex altogether indefinitely in exchange for kissing and cuddling. She is allowed to masturbate her labia and clit in private but no vaginal or anal penetration with toys, fingers, objects. I am allowed to use my prostate toys in my rectum in private but no touching or rubbing of my penis or scrotum for arousal purposes. If I want to acquire a chastity device she will supervise the installation and hold the key, but it would need to be something wearable 24/7 as she does not want to be involved taking it off and putting it back on me. We discussed me seeing my doctor to review the cholesterol and blood pressure medications she had previously suggested as erectile dysfunction would be ideal for us.

The Joy of the Sexless Marriage

My wife and I have been in a statistically sexless marriage since about a year after we married. In other words, less than 10 times a year. The novelty of say sex on a week, or twice a month wore off. And then from say 8 times per year with the start of year two we have gone down to 2 to 4 times per year during the last 10+ years. At first I was so angry – but know what – I love her and I cannot change her. So, I learned to live with the situation, take responsible control of my own sex life, have fun and enjoy the kiss and snuggle relationship she and I have.

Key to all this was aneros. In 2002 I experience discomfort then pain from prostate congestion. I went to the doctor – she suggested I have a look at the High Island Health website. HIH was the parent of Aneros – the Aneros brand came a little later with a sexual focus, whereas HIH was focused on health. I bought a device which looks just like the MGX. It brought me pleasure and relief. Thankfully my wife has no problem with me indulging in prostate play on a largely don’t ask don’t tell basis.