Kindling the Fire

The following is yet another set of tips for novice and/or frustrated Aneros users. I’m not the yokozuna of prostate play or anything, but I’ve collected a handful of habits that seem to afford me consistent success with different models. I don’t pretend that they’ll work for everyone, not even for most people, but I’ll be glad if they help a few users out, even if indirectly by showing the right attitude and spirit of experimentation to bring to sessions.

1. *Start thinking of your ass primarily as a sexual organ.* Sure, it does impolite things and sometimes even commits atrocities, but so does your mouth, and yet you usually aren’t too hung up over the fact you eat, belch, vomit, cuss, and tell lies with it when you’re kissing someone. As far as you’re concerned, the primary function of your ass is now pleasure; all that other business is a regrettable sideshow, and should be far from your mind as you experiment. I encourage you to try other things back there: fingers, someone’s tongue, someone’s dick. Build up a whole armada of toys.

The Journey Begins!

So my first aneros was supposed to come in the mail Wednesday. All day at university I was impatient, because I had abstained from getting off (just a day, but it was one of those days when temptation was really distracting). I was done with classes relatively early in the afternoon, and was excited because I knew I would have the apartment to myself all evening.

Silly me for thinking anything from USPS ever arrived on the tracking date in this damned town.

When it became clear the package wasn’t coming, I went ahead and got off the old primitive way.

The next day, about an hour before I had to leave for school, and while my roommate was in the shower, I got a text notification saying the package had arrived, and so I stealthily went to our mailboxes and picked it up. Back inside, I opened it as quickly and quietly as I could, and my roommate came out asking where I had gone, since he heard me going in and out.

I, the worst liar ever, looked suspicious and said: “I NEEDED SOMETHING FROM MY CAR.” I had hidden the package before he walked in the room and so I don’t know what exactly I would have said I needed if he had asked. But he didn’t press me.