Wow, wow, wow. I'm getting hard again just writing about this. I don't understand it. I had an incredibly intense session last night, to the point where on the bucking stage of Super Os, my left testicle got pulled right into my body. As I went to gently cup my balls (as I sometimes like to do), I noticed there was only one and realised the left testicle had been sucked inwards. This hurt a little as the muscle contractions were very solid and long-lasting.
During these wonderful moments, it occurred to me how much the First Noble Truth in Buddhism applies so much to using the Aneros. The rule says that suffering is caused by attachment, and applying this to using the Aneros, I've found that if I have a nice feeling and want to hold on to it, it messes the whole process up. Instead, I've found it works better if I let the feeling or sensation do what it wants to do (after all, it's not really my conscious brain producing these feelings, so interference isn't needed) and either let it grow or let it pass, it matters not – it's all part of the journey and the process.
To this end, I had what can only be described as a purgative time of it last night. Not in the physical sense, but in the mental sense. I'd held on to an enormous amount of negativity during the Christmas period, and this session seemed to drive that negativity away from my body. More amazingly, as I was enjoying wave after wave of pleasure, negative images from my past loves and lusts came and went, but instead of feeling sad or rejected, the feeling was one of acknowledgement that it IS in the past and this is now and these are the wonderful things that are happening to me. The sense of release was incredibly powerful.
So this was the first session. I started at 11.40pm and ended it at 3.20am. I was dog tired and read a little before settling to sleep. I didn't really fall asleep, just tossed and turned, and the most unexpected thing happened: I got a rock-hard erection and my butt hole started twitching. I thought it was just aftershocks, but my nipples became hard and I wanted the Aneros inside me again. I fought it at first but thought I'd humour it for a few minutes and go and sleep. It turned out that from 4.30 to 6.30 this morning I had that thing inside me! And this session was the most sweet, beautiful and healing that I've had. I didn't have the ab-gripping Super Os or the flickering-light bliss from other sessions, more a 'lifting-up', a lightness with energy interplay with different parts of the body, with the most delicious forays into bearing down contracting orgasm.
I took out the MGX I'd started with and put in the Progasm. It was as if my body had woken up. The ball of warmth grew in my lower belly and the waves began. Thereafter, it's hard to describe what happened, but I know an hour and a half passed which felt like a few minutes. I'm running out of adjectives here!
I finished the session with a good hard pounding of a Fleshlight as I wanted to be sure to get every last bit of what was needing doing done. Having the Progasm push against me as I pushed against the Fleshlight was sweet indeed. Wow once more.
What I took from this session is that you really have to trust your body and mind to give you just what you need at that point. You cannot force sensations, just be aware of them, observe them and BE them. Sounds New Age-y, but that's what works best for me. It's a matter of humility too – I can't produce these sensations by will alone, I have to let my body and brain take over and do what they need to do. The Aneros is the key that unlocks this process.