Older guys, what worked for you?

I am a 45 year old straight guy who suffers from occasional hemorrhoids. I have up until this point never really done much anal play. I have experimented here and there with fingers but never got anything out of it and thought it just was not for me. I am fairly open about sex but just never got much from anal play. Recently though I ran across the Aneros site after reading about it while browsing /sex, which, by the way, not sure you younger guys realize just what a treasure having all this info at your fingertips is. Wish I had that resource when I hit puberty! At any rate. After reading about the therapeutic effects of prostate massage and it's benefits, that it helps with prostate health, hemorrhoids, and the awesome pleasure, I decided to give it a try. I bought a few cheap massagers but none of them did much of anything. After browsing Aneros for awhile, I decided to try one out. I bought a Helix Syn and have had 10 or so sessions with it in the last month or so. I am in a relationship and have not shared this with my wife yet, though if it goes well, I will. Just not ready to share this yet. That does limit the times I have to play around with it. The first session I immediately got mild P-waves, which, while not close to intense, was a result I had never gotten before. Second session more P-waves at about the same intensity. Both times it started off well and then tapered away as I tried to control things or focused on form too much. Some sessions not much of anything happened, then the last few sessions things seemed to progress a bit. One session I had my first involuntaries, which were interesting but not necessarily pleasurable. Then the last session I seemed to zero in more on which muscles to use and which ones to relax and felt the first stirrings of good sensation, including Pwaves, involuntaries and the tingling. All were fleeting and only happened a few times, but I see progress. reading this sub, the forums on Aneros and the Wiki really helped. The Tug of War method from the Wiki was what helped with the correct muscles to use and I noticed that the less is more approach really helped. I am just fighting a lifetime of muscle memory from traditional orgasms and sex but I can see where the rewiring comes in. Quite awhile back I discovered nipple play and that has been fantastic and the wife takes full advantage of it as do I. That definitely seems to help. My usual method is to wait until after a BM, then get out the Helix and lube up with Vaseline, Coconut oil and water based lube. I do plan on ordering unrefined Shea Butter to see how that works. I have tried lots of positions. The best results seem to come from being on my back with a pillow under my butt, knees straight up with feet on the bed. Standing, walking, sideways or on all fours did not seem to do much of anything. I can tell that I need to strengthen muscles that have seem little use ever to get further down the road. I am excited about the journey. I would love to hear from other older men on their experiences getting started with prostate massage and what worked for them. I wish I had come across this when I was younger and orgasms were still mind blowing experiences. As I have gotten older they have lessened in intensity and I find myself trying to find more and more ways to turn things on, though things are still quite enjoyable. Looking forward to the path ahead!

Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/33r3pm/older_guys_what_worked_for_you/


  1. Hmmm I don’t like seeing 45 yo guys think of themselves as old. I don’t think there is any age that a guy should feel uncomfortable exploring their sexuality. I too have had a lot of fun with the aneros toys and as I have got older and have been in a long term relationship have found lots of other solo activities to have fun with. My latest discovery has been sounding which I never would have considered until a friend at the pub mentioned it. Your Aneros experiences are going better than mine, I can’t just go with the flow and keep my hand off it 🙂

  2. I just got my Helix Syn a couple of days ago and have had two very nice sessions with it. But, like boynxdor, I can’t keep my hands off of myself so I haven’t been able to get any sort of p-wave action going on. It’s been really fun so far to start learning how to do it though!

  3. Not old, just older. I feel good for where I am in life. I just mean, it seems like a lot of the population on Reddit is younger, which is fine. It is interesting seeing them coming into their own sexuality and having a forum to discuss, ask questions, etc. But my body behaves differently than it did when I was a teenager. Not better or worse, just different. For example at 16 I had incredible powerful traditional orgasms but that also came with a hairpin trigger. Now I can go much longer and control things much better but the intensity has lessened. All part of life. But now I have this new avenue to explore which I would never have known about were it not for the internet and this site. It’s exciting to have this new avenue to my sexuality and have the advantages of quick access info. Reading of other peoples successes has made me give this another try when I otherwise would have given up and remained ignorant. That first time getting a sensation that was not unpleasant was clarification that here was something that could work for me given time and practice. Reading others techniques gave me something else to try, which was great given the subtle nature of the progress with prostate massage. So definitely keep reading and trying different things!

  4. For me, I have found that I have to refrain from touching my penis as it completely messes up the signals coming from my prostate. Doubly hard as those signals are weak and intermittent, whereas I know the traditional orgasm will get me quick satisfying results. So I have to concentrate especially hard to ignore what my brain is telling me. Worst case I look at it as a different sort of edging and just tell myself I will go ten more minutes and just keep extending that. Bit lots of folks have written about using prostate massage for more powerful traditional orgasms. So definitely enjoy where you are with it. It’s all good!

  5. Such wonderful frustration! Night before last had a pretty good round. Felt the stirrings 20 minutes in. Find I have a hard time keeping breathing going. If I watch porn on my side with my legs bent as per the forums I get the quivering and a wave of pleasure hear and there but I still feel nothing building. So I relax best I can and ride whatever comes. Its pleasantly for the most part. Involuntaties w a bit of pleasure but as soon as I concentrate.on it the spell is broke. Fast forward to today, had the house to myself and took a shower to relax, get clean and smell good. Trying to seduce myself. Grab the IPad, load up some sensual porn, actually take the time to safely inject 5ml of melted coconut oil. Then my usual routine of Vaseline on the Helix followed by water based Wet lubricant. Watched the first porn to get the juices flowing, then inserted the Helix lying on the floor w legs bent. Odd sensation of having to go, but I had read about that so was ready for it. Waiting for the feeling to pass, which it did. Had a great session w in voluntaries immediately. I read where someone would try and relax out the involuntaries as much as possible. Fight against them so to speak. Did feel tightening and tingling that felt amazing. But only fleeting instances. Tried again later with similar results. Decided that was it for now. Later that night, went thru the same routine. I find porn brings things on quickly. Maybe too quickly. It also is sometimes distracting, especially when trying to concentrate on breathing. The type of breathing that works for me is so subtle that I can forget it between one breath and the next but breathing seems to be the key as when I was able to maintain it, I started to feel the build! An incredibly erotic tightening of the whole pelvic area which builds as I breath through my body, concentrating on exhaling fully and through my stomach. But I was not able to maintain it and the feeling subsided. Still farthest I have gotten so far! My muscles and brain are learning. I will give it a rest tomorrow as I am sure the muscles need time to recover after two days of extended use. Hope things continue to progress.

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