Tell me what you remember about…

I have difficulty maintaining journals and blogs, but I do enjoy writing them. The tension between creating an accurate, clinical record of events and embellishing them into a readable narrative creates a unique thrill. I think this one deserves to start with a splash of personal history.

Anal play has always been a part of my sexual life. Long ago, while hanging out at a girlfriend's house after school, she abruptly told me to take off my pants and lay down on my stomach. I asked for some explanation, and she revealed a long, fat, tapered candle she had silently retrieved from the dining room. My eager compliance with her demand frightened both of us a little. Our second penetrative experience together was, in two ways, a literal inversion of the first.

I first learned about aneros through a written story many years ago–so many that it might have been in a print magazine. The story was told in the perspective of a man in a BDSM relationship. His domina plugged a bizarrely curled plastic dong she named “aneros” into him, then issued a series of commands to tense and release his sphincter. He repeatedly begged for permission to orgasm, but she ordered him not to. Predictably, the story ended with a moment of disobedience and a fountain of semen.

The story planted the name of the apparatus in my mind. The hands-free orgasm was less interesting than being able to cum in quarts. After all, ejaculation is the whole point of orgasm, and more of one must mean more of the other, right?

My first anal toys were, like the candle, improvised from household objects. My first purchased toy was a simple silicone vibrating buttplug. I discovered that beyond its unsubtle stimulation, it provided strong defense against premature ejaculation. A pleasurable sensation in my butt was a ready distraction from imminent orgasm in my cock. Ejaculation-oriented orgasm was always the goal, though. I never pursued the anal part on its own.

At some point, purchasing toys from local retail kink shops became disheartening. The scope of selection was limited and the markup was crazy. After a particularly disappointing purchase, I broke inhibition and started ordering from Amazon. I bought a few butt toys, but found they were virtually indistinguishable except on scales of size or pliability. Each new toy was exciting only because it was new, not because it offered unique sensations. Buying and hoarding toys like this was not a sustainable plan.

My mind eventually retrieved that aneros story. After scanning the bewildering variety of models available, I ordered a MGX. I naively but tenaciously performed an interminable cycle of clench-release exercises with it, then jerked off and decided it was just another funny-shaped buttplug.

Several months later, before discarding the packaging, I read the manual that had come with the MGX. That led me to the website, which fanned out into study of the wiki, faqs, reddit, and forum posts. I tried a few more practice rounds with the MGX, and learned that its rigid p-tab and the ridges at its base were sources of mild but persistent irritation. If I was going to be serious about this, irritation would not be tolerated.

I ordered and received a Helix Syn in mid April. I made a good choice.