Now, before you scoff at this title, I need to explain the background of this amazing “meditation”…..For the past few days, I have been dosing on various binaural tracks for wet dreams and erotic lucid dreams. They haven’t worked their magic yet (or so I thought!) I am in Day 6 of SR and I feel my testosterone level really starting to build. Well, this early AM, I started out again the same way and then discovered a good erotic music track on YouTube: “EROTIC SOUL- SLOW AND SEXY – Relaxing Romantic Sensual music ,SEX MUSIC MIX BUDDA LOUNGE” and was about 2 Hr 20 Min long. (I am still listening as I compose this blog).
Well, I started out this “session” in the usual way. The volume is low and I am getting into some tantric self-massage which feels great. One hand is cupping my package under my boxers and the other hand is doing some nipple stim (my top is now pulled-up). Realize that I did not get an erection at all during this meditation, probably due to the fact that my penis “knows” it better behave due to my SR! I keep this up for a while, perhaps 20 to 30 minutes or so. Then, something unusual happened……I suddenly found that the tantric massage had stopped but the erotic thoughts going on in my head didn’t! What was going on here? Was I awake? Was I dreaming? Hard to tell…..
I began to fall-into a deeper fantasy (or was it reality?) This is where this session really seemed to “blur” the line between fantasy and reality and I began to meditate: what is sexual fantasy really? Is it based on a past real event in my life? If it is, I can recreate it in my mind again. And I dd just that…..I remembered some previous sexual activities with former girlfriends and lovers. Were these “fantasies”? Were they sexual “memories” of a real past event? What is the difference?
I began to ponder, then,….could it be that sexual fantasies are more REAL than fantasy? I know this sounds very bizarre, but it is not as far-fetched as it seems. Because whether or not the sexual feeling is caused by oneself (via tantric self-massage) or a real lover, is there any real difference in the FEELING? I don’t think so. During this meditation, I seemed to be transported into another world, an altered state of consciousness if you will. Then I began to think some more (and this is the million-dollar question): is there really a definite “line” between reality and sexual fantasy? Why does there have to be? If the two “feel” the same, what’s the difference?
I believe then that the word “fantasy” is somewhat of a misnomer. It always seemed to me (before this meditation) that it is only a false reality, fake. But could it be as REAL as reality only in an altered state? This is a fascinating subject for meditation. It definitely blew me away!