Very very slow progress sure beats no progress

If you’re not having progress with your Aneros, so long as it isn’t hurting, do keep giving it a go from time to time. There’s a comment in the sidebar that “some guys have spent years getting there”; take that literally.

I suspect I got my Aneros back in 2005, give or take a year. I bought it at the point believing there was only one model and was surprised to receive one called a MGX – this might help people be able to place it in time. It probably took me several years and a lot of effort and exaggerated clenching to get any sort of reaction, and for the longest time I would try the “lots of deep breathing, fifteen full clenches then hold it quarter-way” routine. I might get one pleasant sensation, though not always, then that would be it in terms of anything pleasurable for the session. I would keep trying and trying and get nothing further. There were two occasions, years apart, where I clenched so much that for several (5? 7?) days afterwards I felt like I had bruised myself internally and felt like I was buzzing inside, in a not-at-all pleasant way, to the point where sitting down was uncomfortable. Ever since then I’ve taken it more easily.

I can remember the first time I had a sensation which I later identified as a P-wave, and it came from a time when I was lying on my side but wasn’t particularly trying to do anything with my muscles. After that, I have gone on to having P-waves most sessions, and on to some really extended P-waves, lasting close to two minutes, and feeling the joy spread through my body slowly, reaching almost – but sadly not quite! – as far as my head.

It’s only been in the last few sessions that the “do nothing” strategy has *really* worked for me. After fifteen minutes or so on my bike, when I move onto my side, I’ve finally reached the point where I can more often than not enjoy experiencing reasonably continuous, fairly small, involuntary contractions for an extended period of time. For a long time, I’ve read about people having sessions that last an hour long or more, and for almost as long, this hasn’t made sense to me; I’ve been used to having one pleasant P-wave at most and then further motion on my part has yielded little or nothing. It’s only very recently, after literally years of occasional practice, that the concept of a long session makes sense, in which I might expect to enjoy riding several waves.

There’s a crucial word missing here. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced an orgasm *just* from Aneros use. It may well be the case that I never do. The best way I have of describing what I feel is that I feel like the contractions I feel put me perhaps (plucking a figure out of nowhere) 20% of the way towards the best orgasm I’ve ever had. However, when so much of the fun of an orgasm is the rising intensity of feeling before the ejaculation itself, the Aneros makes it last so, so much longer. If I never get any further results than the ones I’ve had, then it will be worthwhile for just reaching this point.

Part of the attraction of Aneros to me has been the concept of the involuntary nature of the orgasm. Reasonably frequently, though far from all the time, I use a penis oscillator at the end of my session with my Aneros still inside, and that works a treat for a hands-free ejaculation for me. After having received minutes of pleasure at 20% intensity, I will get a ten- or twenty- second build-up to some of the most powerful and enjoyable ejaculations I ever have, with the Aneros pumping really powerfully, much more powerfully than it ever does without the penis stimulation (or with manual penis stimulation). It may be an indicator of what sort of strength I might have to feel in order to be tipped over the edge to an Aneros-only hands-free ejaculation, and I’m far from there. I’m prepared to believe that this may not be helpful for my chances of ever getting an Aneros-only orgasm or an Aneros-only-induced hands-free ejaculation, but I do enjoy the traditional ejaculation at the end of a session too much to stop.

I am really badly co-ordinated, strongly suspect I have poor proprioception and have strong anxiety issues. When I’m sufficiently aroused to be erect, the Aneros will take longer strokes and get more dramatic pleasure, but this actually happens disappointingly infrequently. Porn works less frequently than I would like, for I have a complicated relationship with it, and I am very poor at actually fantasising most of the time. (As you can imagine from the length of time I’ve spent using Aneros, I’m getting old… well, middle-aged.) I don’t think I have particular erectile dysfunction; this is just a mental health issue. While I enjoy having my nipples played with, playing with my own nipples while using Aneros doesn’t do much for me – it feels like trying too hard, or a bit like trying to tickle yourself. There are plenty of boring pragmatic reasons why my conditions may not be ideal in other ways: I often need to have the washer or dryer being noisy in the background, I can’t lock the bedroom door from our buzz-killing but beloved cats, and I live somewhere where the temperature is often too cold, sometimes too hot and only seldom just right.

I also suspect that I will never be able to have an Aneros-only orgasm in part because I almost always think of the possibility of one while I’m enjoying a P-wave, or enjoying relatively strong contractions. There may well be a sense of “whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right”, at least to some extent. If ever there comes a point where I can focus on a fantasy while enjoying the sensations, rather than focusing on enjoying the sensations themselves, I’m prepared to believe I might get further. (I have no interest in trees, though I’m prepared to believe that they may help with the separation of mind from body.) I’d like to believe well be that I’m still enjoying the progress I’m making too much because it is so pleasant and because it is so much better than it has been in the past, and when I get used to it being so good and almost take it for granted, it might be the next step I need.

Or there are more experiments to do. My budget allows for one new sex toy a year, when reduced for Black Friday. I’ve tried other anal toys and despite there being convincing reason why they might work for me, haven’t found that they do much for me *yet*. (The penis oscillator is a hit, on the other hand, though I don’t like the company, and I don’t think the toy is actually particularly well-made, even though it does get me results.) I’m aware that there are other models of Aneros which may take longer strokes than the MGX, and I’m aware that the Trident models may help in this regard as well. I’m also aware that any conscious efforts I take by using a different toy may also hinder the need for using the toy to be unconscious, but I’m willing to try.

For the longest time I was prepared to believe that I fell for psuedoscience and marketing BS with Aneros. I’ve not yet had an orgasm from it, and I may well never do so. However, I have had some extremely pleasant sensations from it that I haven’t had from anything else, so there’s definitely *something* to it – and if I never get anything more than what I’ve already had, it’s already proved itself well worthwhile. (Thank you for reading. This is long and frankly pretty masturbatory – but that means it fits right in, right?)

TL;DR: keep going even if it takes you years!