Rewiring and Awakening

We all talk of rewiring as a milestone, and it is but there is more than rewiring in this journey I am on. I believe that there is another milestone that follows rewiring, that milestone I call sexual awakening. Following awakening there is an ongoing process of discovery and evolution in which the true nature of my sexuality and sexual response is revealed to me. Being a research kind of guy, I have spent the last ten years reading the forums and blogs with my perception in mind and I believe I am just recognizing a process we all are experiencing. Our posts reinforce my thought.

Rewiring for me (one year into Aneros) sensitized my brain to sexual pleasure, connected my brain to my sexual pleasure organs, it introduced me to sexual pleasure organs I didn’t know I had and it altered my sensory and perceptive ability. With that under my belt the next 7 years were spent in a learning process; reading, experimenting, testing myself, writing and talking with peers. That 7 year time span was an evolutionary process that culminated in year nine with my awakening.

Awakening for me was acknowledgement of my sexuality in all its dimensions. Awakening gave me the courage to exercise my sexual proclivities that I uncovered in the seven years prior. Beyond the discovery of new and unexpected dimensions to my sexuality, awakening removed the subconscious stigma I had imposed on myself for aspects of my sexuality I was either ashamed of or afraid to admit or acknowledge. I know now that I feared the ramifications of admitting them to myself. My attraction to cocks and sex with men is one of these proclivities and my exhibitionist tendencies is another.

My bisexuality was always there but I resisted the temptation to acknowledge it. I became aware of it when I took the Kinsey test the first time 15 years ago. I am strong heterosexual with homosexual tendencies. As for my exhibitionism I actually did exercise that over the years but was a shamed of it. I preface this entry that my use of the term “exhibitionism” in my context does not mean donning a raincoat over nothing and exposing myself in public. For me it has been an activity involving willing voyeurs and myself. Usually it was exercised in hotel room windows with me masturbating in bed as they watched some masturbating mutually and others just watching intently.

However, my exhibitionism has also come into my bedroom with my wife. By nature I am not a show off or a person who is comfortable with performing in public. However, my awakening has opened an exhibitionist door for me in sexual relations with my wife that is wonderful. I now perform for her in a way that arouses both of us.
The entry preceding this one describes an MMO session done nines years ago with my wife that culminated in her having some powerful orgasms and me having intense MMO’s and not ejaculating. At the end of our session she asked me if I wanted to cum. I told her I didn’t as I wanted to retain my arousal and savor it for a few days. For me, the act of retaining my arousal causes it to “age” and mature. As it ages it enters my consciousness as a more patient and rich influence on my libido. I became sensitized to my sexual response and the world around me.

So after three days post MMO session nine years ago described in the previous entry, my wife and I (for ease of this narrative I will call her J) mutually agreed to make love this particular evening. So after showers and bodyscaping (shaving, etc) we wound up in bed with obligatory candles and soft music and a turned down bed. She was nude but I strategically decided to wear a thong and a towel wrapped around me like a skirt covering the thong. I have a towel with a snap on it to prevent it coming unwrapped.

As I said, my awakening has removed any embarrassment I might have previously felt for performing for J. So with my new found sexual bravado I proceeded to do a dance for her. As to not make a fool of myself I watched several videos of professional male strippers performing at all woman parties. If you haven’t watched these you need to. As a person with exhibitionistic tendencies and an interest in cocks and male sexuality they were a huge turn on for me.

I was actually very proud of the sinuous dance I began to do for her. The more I did the more turned on I became and the more risqué the dance became. It involved removing the thong while the towel was still around me and giving it to her for her to sniff; it had a telltale precum spot on it from my building arousal before I even started. Then using the towel to keep my cock covered I teased her, turning away when I removed it to show her my ass but covering again every time I faced her, offering glimpses of my erection for seconds only.

I have to say that my wife and I have been having sex for 48 years. She has seen my cock tens of thousands of times, I have fucked her at least 7,000 – 8,000 times. She has sucked my cock 6-8,000 times and swallowed my cum. For her to see my erection is no big deal. But my act of teasing her from seeing it and using is as “bait” to arouse her elevated her arousal. My exhibitionist inclinations were piquing her arousal.

Ultimately when I disposed of the towel to reveal my elongated hard penis to her full view, I came close to her, and began to really tease her. I put my erection against her cheek, letting my precum wetted cock head ooze on her lips and nipples to have me lick it off; I held her hands away and did not let her touch it. I did a lap dance on her, rubbing my cock on her Mons and belly. I stood with my erection inches from her face as she lay on the bed so that she could smell my arousal, feel my heat and see my precum dripping. I rubbed my balls on her cheek.

When I finished she was on fire. Her cunt was dripping and her eyes were wide with the familiar look that told me she was ready.

So laying her back I parted her legs and I slowly and teasingly penetrated her. I fucked her so slowly I knew it would amplify her arousal but not provide her the vigorous stimulation she would need to orgasm. Slowly I drew my cock in and out of her aching hole. I was careful to pull out of her and rub my oozing cockhead all over her opening, her clit and her pussy lips, paying special attention to coating her clit with my precum. After working her clit with my cock head I straightened up to show her my glistening erection. It was wet with the sap of both our arousals.

One of the things that turns her on big time is to see me either eat her cream pie or lick my precum from her cunt or nipples. With that in mind I lowered my face to suckle her precum glazed clit. I nursed on her clit holding the hood back and sucking her pink pearl into my mouth where my tongue massaged it and stroked it. Within minutes she came hard. As she was just coming down I mounted her again, penetrated her forcefully as I massaged her clit with my thumb. As I probed her with my cock, and stroked her slippery clit her body shook as she had another hard orgasm. My staying power has been increased exponentially by my prostate orgasms. My cock is not as sensitive to ejaculation as it was, I no longer have a “hair trigger”.

After her second orgasm I laid down next to her to give her a post orgasmic cuddle, something she really enjoys. After a while she regained her interest in sexual interaction. Her hand drifted to my nipples and down my belly to heft my heavy cock. I was leaking profusely. She cradled my balls, fondling them and gently squeezing them. causing my precum flow to increase significantly; the strem of my juice was running down my hip.

With her hand still fondling my balls she lowered her mouth to my nipples and teased my left nipple with her tongue. She knew then that that one was and still is more responsive than my right one; I have no idea why.

With the skill and grace of a lover who knew my body so well, her hand abandoned my balls to seek my anus. With the tender touch of a butterfly her finger danced around my man pussy teasing it. That dance turned into a massage with the lube provided my dripping cockslit. I opened my legs wide and closed my eyes retreating into sexual nirvana. As she suckled my nipples I felt my prostate swelling and throbbing. I was adrift in a sea of rapture in my mind savoring the gently pulsing electricity of my sexuality dancing on my skin.
Then suddenly I felt the invasion of J’s finger. She was penetrating my anus in search of my prize, my swollen gland. When she touched it, a shiver went up my spine, goose bumps raised on my skin and my nipples began to tingle in the suction of her lips and tongue. I was frozen in time and space.

As I wallowed in the bliss of her loving attention my nipple was suddenly in the cold. Opening my eyes I watched her move her oral attention to my penis. With one finger still in my anus gently touching my prostate she grasped the base of my cock in her other hand and directed my cock head towards her mouth.

Then I felt the familiar and very welcomed sensation of my cock head being swathed in the wet sucking heat of her mouth. Ever so tenderly and slowly she began to massage my prostate. As she did her tongue and lips suckled the underside of my penis like she was a calf nursing on a large full udder. I could feel my hot cream gathering in my prostate. My nipples crackled with desire. She sucked hard and used her tongue like a artist paints a painting. The painting she did on my cock with her tongue was magical. My cock got so hard it ached my prostate sang a chorus with my trembling cock .

As she nursed on my penis her finger implored my prostate to release, her other hand returned to my balls to caress them and hold them keeping them from retreating into my groin as ejaculation became imminent. As I sank deeper and deeper into the abyss of my pending orgasm, the tip of my cock became numb and my balls began to play tug of war with her hand, but she would not relent. She held them tightly in preparation for my release.

The heavy hand of my ejaculation appeared in my mind’s eye and it came to rest on my chest, holding me down as it prepared to do the divine job of giving me orgasmic ecstasy. Immobilized by the intense euphoria that was gathering deep in my anal canal, I suddenly felt the gates of my ejaculation open. My prostate pumped hard, contracting under her finger again and again as the pleasure pain of release caused my cock root to pulse and the stream of my hot thick semen to flow. My cock lurched rhythmically as I pissed my cum into her mouth as the euphoria of ejaculation chimed sweetly in my nipples and anus. She drank as fast as I pumped, and I pumped a lot. It was days of desire inspired, well aged semen now given to her.

When my ejaculation was over my I was virtually empty, drained of my will and my sex drive. With the scent of my semen on her breath I kissed her gratefully, inhaling the bond that I just shared with her as we settled in for another post orgasmic cuddle.