Technically it would be more accurate to say it’s off and on for a few years. I tend to give up on it for a while or not be able to for a long time for one reason or another.
I’m using the “do nothing” or the “try not to orgasm” approach. Try not to orgasm is a nice one because then if pleasure stops I’m less likely to get frustrated. I’ve tried intentionally moving the aneros inside me but it never works more than a tiny bit. Any attempt to directly control the movement of the aneros or the feeling of pleasure itself leaves me worse off than I started. Fine. I just won’t do that.
I’m still at the stage where the sensations are mild and never last more than a few seconds. A couple times I’ve gotten better than that but I haven’t gotten back there in about a year. As soon as I want it to feel better than it does in the moment, all pleasure stops, which is extremely frustrating.
I’m not focusing entirely on the possibility of the super O. I’ll be satisfied once I get to the point where it feels better than regular masturbation. I can’t explain why but I have a feeling that once I get to that point I’ll advance pretty quickly. Even if it doesn’t, I can be patient about how good it feels as long as it satisfies my need for it. I don’t think I’ll be bored once I get the fundamentals down.
I know that you’re supposed to be in a state of mind where you stay in the moment concentrating on observing how it feels and relaxing, forgetting past sensations / letting them go and not anticipating future ones. I can get to that state of mind but it takes a great deal of concentration. It would be hard for anyone but I have ADHD so it’s a bit harder for me. I’ve read that one of the most important things to do is to notice all the little sensations, even the barely positive ones and the neutral ones. You don’t have to convince yourself you love it but you have to notice. This is the only way I ever get anywhere at all. When I fail to stay in the “be in the moment and be very aware of all sensations” state of mind, there are a few ineffective states of mind that I tend to get into.
* Greedy-horny, not only focusing on future sensations but trying to magically “will” my body into feeling good. This breaks the “be aware of sensations in the present” rule and the “don’t try to control it” rule, so it doesn’t work.
* Sex nerd. I try to figure out patterns in the sensations I feel in order to predict how to get better ones, when to make a point of relaxing especially much, when to fantasize, etc. This breaks the “be aware of sensations in the present” rule and to a lesser extent the “don’t try to control it” rule (lesser because I only barely try to do it). Sometimes I spend way too much effort on figuring it out without noticing. This state of mind is harder to avoid than it sounds, because the better my prostate feels, the dumber I get, so the more likely I am to work hard to satisfy my curiosity and impatience by “studying” what’s happening.
* Boredom. I don’t even entertain the possibility of it getting any better and think about other things. This leads to me not focusing on the present sensations, so it doesn’t work.
* Porn horny. Paying attention to either porn or fantasies or both at the expense of not paying attention to the present, which again makes me not notice present sensations.
I think my problem is mostly mental. Physically it’s not that hard. Lube it up, put it in, find a relaxing position.
* Do I have to make sure that my “posture” isn’t preventing the aneros from moving? Is sitting up OK?
* Last time I tried it I discovered that kneeling is a very good position for me. Unfortunately, kneeling quickly tires out some muscles and hurts my knees. I’d appreciate any advice.
* How important is it to be aroused while it’s in? That tends to come and go for me.
* How much should the aneros move? I have the helix syn. I tried a few others but that works best for me. Is it so subtle I shouldn’t be aware of it moving at all? Should I be trying to hold it still?
* I think if I try REALLY hard to relax I can get my inner sphincter to open. Does that help or am I wasting effort?
Before anyone suggests it, marijuana and poppers aren’t available for me so I have to do it sober for lack of a better word.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/bssa26/ive_been_trying_for_a_few_years_and_im_still/
These are good questions and I’m curious as to the answers. I’ve been trying with a Helix trident for a while now and it feels really good and I get lots of pre, but no orgasm yet. I have felt waves, but they feel pretty mild to me.
I think what would really help is if you’re able to move away from the mindset of focusing on what the Aneros is doing. For me, it only really fell into place once I got to the point where I could almost forget it was there. Don’t overthink factors like breathing, position etc – it only pulls your awareness away from where it should be. In an Aneros session, I almost treat it as mindfulness.
Two other things that really helped me.
1) do some work on your normal masturbation habits outside of Aneros sessions. Most people wank in the way they taught themselves as adolescents and this isn’t helpful. I spent some time really paying attention to what goes on when I masturbate – slowing down, keeping my breathing relaxed, touching areas I’d normally neglect, reducing the pressure of my touches. This really helped me understand how my body responds to sexual stimulation and caused me to notice sensations I’d ignored before. It also finally awoke the erogenous potential of my nipples and balls.
2) practise “A-less”. This is a good starting point: https://www.aneros.com/community/forum/general-discussion/9641-the-truth-behind-how-to-rewire. The first time I ever tried this, the results were very subtle but, when I went out for a walk immediately afterwards, there was a perceptible afterglow. I now find this approach an easier way to reach orgasm than using a toy as there’s less scope for distraction.
Get yourself a copy of Hypnaerosession.mp3. It’s well worth the $20 price tag. It greatly helped me get my head in the right space. That and a little bit of cannabis (it’s legal where I live)
You can also check out your testosterone levels.