I just got an Aneros toy (well, two actually, MGX and Helix), I had a session yesterday and was fairly disappointed. I already had some plugs and enjoyed them, I do feel *something* in the prostate with the Aneros toys but nothing very special. I understand it’s normal, and there’s a learning curve different from everyone and I’m fine with that. But I struggled with something in particular, which is to be aroused and relaxed at the same time.
How do you manage deep breathing and self-touching (not the penis) at the same time? How do you relax and excite yourself at the same time?
Thanks!
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/l2twn5/relaxation_vs_arousal/
I’ve found good success with trying to just silence my mind and focus on subtle sensations. I’ve not had a super-o, but I’ve had some pretty awesome pleasurable feelings and spasms.
Light nipple play once every few minutes helps me stay in the zone.
Those are both my top favorite toys. Not too long ago I didn’t get much with my my Helix but now it blows my mind. Give it time. It’ll get better. Much better.
First of all, it’s great that you felt something! You won’t feel a sudden burst of pleasure once you hit the right spot. This “something,” and others like it, will evolve into more pleasurable sensations as you rewire and learn what you like.
Outside of my sessions I’ve found kegels, hot baths, and yoga to be beneficial. I’ve seen others on this sub recommend meditation and other mindful, stress-reducing activities as well. My personal experience with yoga is that it has helped train my body to breathe and relax under tension (most of the stretches I perform depend on gravity and do not work well if you are tense). Additionally, I’ve found that I instinctively tense up my PC and rectal muscles throughout the day, especially when sitting for long periods or when stressed. I otherwise don’t even notice it, so periodically checking and focusing on relaxing them has helped.
During my sessions I’ve found toys that I can maneuver with my hands or positioning (e.g. dildos and Njoy) to help specifically with relaxation. It’s difficult, especially for beginners, to let go of certain contractions with an Aneros in as soon as things begin to pickup. With dildos I can focus on relaxing my hole and PC muscles while maneuvering it in a way that hits my spot. If I begin to tense up, it makes it more difficult (and even uncomfortable) to maneuver the toy. With the Aneros specifically, you might find the “Do Nothing Technique” with the ocsasional contraction helpful. I should note that sometimes your body WANTS to tense up. This is why the philosophy of “good feelings trump all” is so important.
Keep in mind that this is coming from personal experience and a little experimentation may be in order.
TL;DR
1. Try relaxing activities outside of your sessions (e.g. kegels, yoga, hot baths)
2. During your sessions, try the “Do Nothing” technique and a toy you can manipulate with your hands while focusing on relaxing your PC and rectal muscles.
3. Experiment! Certain relaxation techniques work better for some than others.
4. **Most importantly: don’t get too caught up in any of the techniques or advice mentioned here. Good feelings, experimentation, patience, and a positive mindset are the most important.**