aneros getting pushed out?

Been at this for a couple years with some success but no super O. Had a sort of breakthrough where I really tried to embrace the urge to pee feeling and actively did “reverse kegels” and “pushing out”, basically as if I was actually trying to pee. Result was really intense sensations/contractions and WAY more precum than typical sessions. But the toy itself also wanted to come out, and did a couple times. I also realized why people feel the need to do an enema before a session vs just taking a shower.

Is this maybe a pelvic floor muscle isolation thing, and I can learn to let precum flow more freely while also not pushing the aneros out? Maybe I just need to dial back the pushing, or maybe I should try a different toy or lube (using coconut oil)?