Spontaneous sessions while living with partner

I’ve been using my aneros for a couple of years now and am slowly but surely making progress. However, as I live with my partner and generally have a lower libido nowadays I almost always plan my sessions in advance rather than when I get the spontaneous urge. This usually means that I’m usually not particularly aroused and not always relaxed when I begin.

Eventually my arousal will build, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my two best sessions have happened spontaneously rather than when I had planned my session.

I rarely get spontaneous urges, but when I do I would like to be able to pursue them and capitalise on the pleasure. It just feels a bit inconsiderate to my partner to say that I’m horny and need to not be disturbed for a few hours. How do others that live with partners get around this?

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/nmxuzc/spontaneous_sessions_while_living_with_partner/


  1. The only time that i have is at bed time right now. My wife is in the bed with me, but she knows that if she falls asleep on me or she’s not feeling it that night what i’m going to be doing. I’m either with my family or working until almsot 10:00 PM every day 7 days a week. I get to sleep in some on the weekends, but it doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of time other than at bed time. I’m still pretty early on into some new found feelings i experienced not long ago which keeps me sort of craving the feeling, so i’m super motivated to force that time at bed time. The other thing that helps is that i’m constantly thinking about it during the day and sort of “edging” myself all the time to get that warm prostate feel. No toy or anything. I believe that if you are forced into planning your sessions like I am [Mindgasm.net](https://Mindgasm.net) might be what you need. It is a guided course to get you to recognize all of the things you need to recognize. some stuff is confusing at first like the “top” muscle that basically still feels imaginary to me, but also the most important if that makes sense. I’m curious to know how far you’ve gotten in the journey. Have you experienced that warm glow sort of buzzing while not doing anything yet? It sounds like you might be in the step i was stuck in for about a year. If so [Mindgasm.net](https://Mindgasm.net) is what did it for me. I was thinking too much during my sessions and not truly opening my body and spirit up like i needed to. Sorry if i’m rambling, but I was stuck for a long time and have just had a major breakthrough myself and hate to see anyone not get there that truly wants to.

  2. I’m not sure if your partner is involved in your prostate explorations but if not you could try to incorporate her. If that’s out of the question I’d honestly would just do it on my own (if it’s the right time ofc).

    Been in a similar situation (just the opposite) where i had a high libido with a low libido partner, i can absolutely relate to your thoughts as you don’t want to exclude her or make her feel neglected as you said “bye cya in a couple of hours”. I had a rough time figuring out a way that would lead me to prostate play. So i sat down and talked openly. I’d suggest you do the same. Hiding it doesn’t really work i believe as i would have negative thoughts and emotions that would stop me from perceiving pleasure anyways soooo the only way was being open and understanding.

    There are always two sides to the same coin. The coin being a partnership. You not being able to do what provides you pleasure is not cool. Don’t neglect yourself.

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