Seriously, this whole thing feels like I’ve discovered a latent mutation, but like in the X-Men universe where mutants have to hide to blend into society :’D It’s probably for the best… I feel like talking in a subreddit like this will prove more “productive” anyway!
I have a few questions for folks, just some “in your experience” all feedback is welcome!
Question 1: Do you require kegels to begin your involuntaries? Does actively performing kegels improve the quality of your involuntaries?
Personally, I started this journey doing Mindgasm. Having done alot of weightlifting in my lifetime, muscle isolation came very naturally to me and I was able to identify and solo flex my PC and Sphinctur fairly easily (as much as is possible anyway). The first time that I felt involuntaries though… there was not intentional beginning, not “Big Squeeze”. I was just laying down relaxing, focusing on the passive pleasure of the light pressure on the prostate. It was more like the thought “this feels fantastic how could it possibly be better” just entered my head and planted the involuntary seed. Of course they were fairly short lived… at first, I had to learn how to just let them happen and continue to focus on the now active pleasure of the pulse. I’ve done some small experiments since that include a “Big Squeeze” but I am hesitant to really open this up more. My worry is, by engaging more active control of the occurrence I feel like I may lose some of the mental “magic” associated with how I’ve discovered them in the first place… If it ain’t broke is there any benifit to “fixing” it?
Question 2: How do you manage your expectations?
I would argue that the idea or potential of the “Super O” is the initial drive behind 99.9% of Aneros users. As we quickly learn, this is a mental marathon not a short term sprint. Not a marathon that should be pursued painfully, but one in which the race itself is the both the “task” and the reward. I do enjoy my sessions immensely. Turns out my wistful experimentations with hypnosis and meditation over the years have finally come to fruition in a useful form. That said, I still struggle with the idea of completion or a finality to a session. This in addition to plaguing questions, like am I doing this properly? Is there some other piece that needs to be added? What is over the next ridge? To date I believe I felt the approach of an orgasm, but got overly excited and killed it out. I do continue to make progress in the “focus on the session not the full marathon” front, but I’m curious as to some of the other methods that have been used to suppress the unavoidable desire that is the “Super O”
Question 3: Did you mentally build your first O or did it just… happen?
I love the relaxation and calmness of my sessions, and I thoroughly enjoy the sensations that arise. However, as an analytical person I find myself mentally searching for the next step, or to search for the feelings described in posts. In your experience do you make more progressive as a passive participant or in a state of meditative exploration? I feel like I know most of the answer to the question I’m just curious to hear about other experiences.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/oh044h/if_only_this_were_less_taboo/
Agree 100%. Have tried muscle trembling, tingles and deep pleasure several times – but I lose it when trying to pursue the feeling. Relaxation and deep breathing must be key.
And yes: If only this were less of a taboo..🙏
I feel like i can relate to what you are going through so well. I was just there like last week it seems like. I would think i wasn’t distracted or searching for things, but in the end I would realize that i really was. Even now i still do it, but every time I learn something new and those new feelings happen again and i have sort of cut through the fog that was obscuring them before. So, now they can come back to me and build into new feelings.
I started really getting in tune with my prostate using mindgasm. It taught me how to have involuntary anus and prostate contractions. I still remember those initial times it happened. I was sort of giving up and reading on reddit when they hit and just laid back and let them happen. I was AMAZED!
Then i pursued those things for like another week with not much luck. I was sort of confused again. I would spend all day at work trying to exhuast the muscles through kegals and then get into bed at night and they wouldn’t happen on their own no matter how much time i put into them.
Finally I tried with no toy at all and felt like I as gettiing more pleasurable sensations. I started to forget about those involuntary contractions from before. And was able to feel more of the sort of buzzing/warmth/ pleasure that sort of radiated from the tip of my penis. Its something that i have to focus on and the toys can be distracting. I know that mindgasm talks about this feeling and i didn’t understand it at first.
Lesson # 6 like 20 times i think finally helped me understand that feeling. Its hard to really describe exactly how things progressed from this point, but my wife and I introduced pegging and that brought its own new feelings.
Anyway somewhere along this path I learned how to properly relax. I thought I was doing that before, but I was wrong. Eventually what happened is those early involuntary contractions i mentioned became so unimportant. Through really relaxing and just saying you know what i’m not expecting anything this time- i started to get some involuntary full body movements.
I would just focus on that amazing feeling in the tip of the penis and prostate (thats the small sensation that builds that mindgasm talks about ) and any tiny little sensation or pleasure. Its like something is swimming around inside of you pushing on different nerves. But you can’t notice it unless you’re waiting for it. Can’t be distracted with other pleasures.
These would sort of build into an involuntary stomach clench and body movement and sometimes it would repeat and I would be like wtf just happened. Those would build into their own thing that was almost like my body was humping the air. Sort of like a dog thats doing it and can’t control themselves. I’d get so excited and distracted and searching for this that i’d lose sight of the actual pleasure going on.
So then it would take a few more sessions to calm my mind and just enjoy whats going on. I started to realize that underneath those body contractions was a smaller milder contraction in my prostate and anus. These involuntaries that all this new stuff was covering up. I started focusing on them and feeling some subtle ejactulation feelings.
Well fuck now i started getting distracted by this. So i had to work past that distraction and refocus on just the pleasure. I gotta tell you its still so hard to just relax and not get excited with all these new feelings. These eventually led to full body shaking wake my wife up sort of thing. But I know that its not the end of things. I can’t say that for me it was a super orgasm or anything. Just another new thing. I pushed for it again the next night and got on the floor so i didn’t bother her and it happened again and again and again. But it was too hard to focus on that prostate feeling through it all.
I’m still learning. Even just last night i just committed to trying to supress the full body shaking and enjoy this overwhelminig prostate buzzing that i can generate on demand now. I let it build up and build up and sometimes it goes away after a few seconds and sometimes it stays. I was so relaxed and calm yesterday that i just enjoyed what I got. I felt more relaxed than i ever had.
I can tell you that the more I relax- the more I get out of things.
It really is a journey with no end. No climax . No highest point. No one size fits all.
Happy Hunting!
I think it’s becoming less taboo and more popular. I remember reading an article (I’ll try and find it) that was all about how sales of prostate toys have grown tremendously in the last 10+ years. The taboo around anal sex in general seems to have lessened with the acceptance/popularity of LGBT groups. Add to that, It’s so rare that men talk about masturbation with each other let alone talking about masturbating with toys and even more so about anal play. Besides gay men, I have had 1 man ever tell me or admit to me that he enjoys something in his ass. It seems to be a weird secret that everyone is waiting to get a hint that you’re into it too before they admit it.
https://mashable.com/feature/prostate-massagers
>Question 1: Do you require kegels to begin your involuntaries? Does actively performing kegels improve the quality of your involuntaries?
People talk about the “do nothing” method and that has never really worked for me. Ive always had to do some kind flexing/kegels. My ability to really separate the muscle groups and flex different things have really helped improve my experience. I know what you mean though about the grey area between consciously doing the kegels and letting the involuntaries take over. What really helps when I can’t seem to find that balance is to get and hold both or one of those muscles very, very slightly. Like, imagining holding it at 15% power or whatever. Hold the PC muscle only and let the sphincter spaz a little or vice versa. Sometimes I’m squeezing waaay too hard.
It’s usually one of the signs that I’m heading into a dud session if I don’t get into that grey involuntary area within 20 min or so. (More on that below) And that’s fine! It’s like starting a lawn mower, sometimes it starts on the first pull of the starter handle (kegel squeeze, hold, whatever), sometimes it takes a couple pulls, sometimes it just doesn’t start.
>Question 2: How do you manage your expectations?
As cheesey as this sounds, I go into a session by telling myself that whatever happens happens and I will enjoy whatever happens. Part of this expectation journey is also keeping a positive attitude even during/after a dud session. I believe finishing up and being disappointed sort of sets the tone for next time. Instead of going in excited, you’re going in with a sort of “this better work” attitude.
**Also don’t be afraid to wrap up sooner if you think it’s not happening!** A prostate orgasm might be the main reason we play with our prostate, but it can be enjoyable without a PO too.
Part of that starts with some of these guys really getting excited and setting the stage for their session, you can tell that the expectation is that “I want that prostate orgasm” vs “I’m excited to be able to do this”. The guys who have abstained from masturbating, the guys who have a free day coming up and an empty house, the guys who have been hyping up thier session… they are putting the “prostate on a pedestal” so to speak and if it doesn’t result in something amazing, the disappointment is there and we start all over again. Now some of these things can really help, but it’s my advise for the “expectations” side of things.
>Question 3: Did you mentally build your first O or did it just… happen?
Mentality, expectations, headspace, whatever… Prostate play has been like 50% a mental game, 25% technique, and 25% luck. Luck because sometimes it just doesn’t happen. You can do the exact same thing you did last time that gave you a fantastic PO, and it does nothing for you. Techniques like Mindgasm and the right toy and learning the right muscles. But I *need* to be in the right headspace for anything to really happen.
It’s a big difference from traditional masturbation. Boners come and go, and if my dick is hard I can make it cum easily and reliably 99% of the time. Sometimes jacking off helps clear my head. But prostate play? If I’m stressed, if I’m distracted, if the neighbors are being loud, if I’m not turned on, if I haven’t heard my prostate “whisper” I might be able to make a PO happen… but not likely.
Playing with my prostate enough to figure out when it worked and what was going on with my headspace sort of set me up to be a little more in tune with myself and when I’m more “ready” for prostate play. Sometimes during the day I’ll do a couple kegels and see how my body responds. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes it seems to prime the pump and sort of wake up the prostate a bit more, getting me worked up for a session later.
If only male sexuality wasn’t tied to penile pleasure by default.
Why can’t prostate play give me stronger, more pleasurable orgasms than PiV? I’ll still penetrate my partner, but why must a vagina be the epitome of sex for a penis? (for hetero partners.)
Society is much more accepting of women having preferences (ex preferring oral to penetration) but almost all women assume men want to have their penis stimulated more than anything else. /rant
For me, the key to full-blown anal orgasm was focusing attention on what MindGasm calls the “top” muscle. I call it the “inner jockstrap” because it feels like it supports the prostate. As soon as I found my inner jockstrap (with my mind) it began quaking on autopilot, triggering sympathetic involuntaries at the PC and sphincter. Then my rosebud starting tingling, and at the front end, I got the “gotta pee or cum” sensation deep in the groin, and tingling pleasure in my cockhead.
This dance of sensation kept building in waves as I focussed attention on it. No need for me to do any voluntary contractions, though I found if I did, it created strong pulses of pleasure that encouraged me to do more. I also found grunting and groaning triggered the same kind of pleasure pulses.
This combination of the dancing waves and strong pulses became my orgasm, increasing and increasing as it recruits more pleasure circuits, ultimately producing a hot flush from my nips to my thighs.
A typical orgasm lasts around 15 minutes, then I get tired and want a break for about 5 minutes. I usually reach the next orgasm within a couple minutes of bringing my attention back to the inner jockstrap.
I’ve learned to follow a simple procedure (albeit one with many steps):
1) Insert two or three plugs of semi-solid lube (like a mix of shea butter and coconut oil).
2) Lube up and insert the Aneros plug.
3) Take a mandatory piss with the plug in me (generates the first contact with the prostate).
4) Walk around a bit, feeling the plug moving inside me.
5) Lie down (prone usually works best for me).
6) Focus on how the plug feels inside me, bringing attention to the rosebud, sphincter, chute and prostate.
7) Feel the first involuntaries at the sphincter and PC.
8) Find my inner jockstrap and feel the band of muscle behind my ‘state.
9) Feel the involuntaries right next to my prostate.
10) Feel the sensations in my cockhead.
11) Feel the dancing of involuntaries along the whole anal canal, and the tickling and tingling at the cock and rosebud ends of the anal-penile pleasure tube.
12) Punctuate the dance with occasional random voluntary contractions of PC or sphincter.
13) Punctuate the dance with grunts and groans.
14) Stay focussed and ride the waves, slipping over the edge into orgasm.
15) If orgasm doesn’t seem accessible, try using willpower to prevent orgasm – try to hold steady at the current level of pleasure – this usually triggers a gasm.
16) Ride the orgasm to ever-greater intensity.
17) Stay with it as long as I can.