May I ask for a clarification between aroused and relaxed?

Hi guys,

Wondering if I can ask a question.. everybody mentions don’t insert your Aneros “cold,” I.e. you should be turned on before inserting it (by watching porn, edging, etc. before hand).

But I’ve also read and heard that you should be totally relaxed once you have it in, but this seems to be in contradiction since (for at least me anyways) being aroused requires a certain level of mental focus (fantasizing, playing with nipples, etc.). So I’m just looking for some clarification as I’m wondering how one does both. Perhaps I’m just looking for other peoples’ input on where they take it. Thanks in advance.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/p10h5p/may_i_ask_for_a_clarification_between_aroused_and/

4 comments

  1. You’re probably used to tensing up when you’re aroused. Forcing arousal is like pushing water uphill with a fork.

  2. Get aroused first. This causes your prostate to swell with fluid making it bigger and more sensitive. Then insert and relax. It’s fine to go flaccid. Your prostate won’t instantly deflate the same way.

  3. Being aroused is fine, but just try to take it slow. I know when you’re very excited, it can be hard to focus, and you end up rushing. Just relax once it’s in, and kind of let your mind wander. Your body will pick up on its own

  4. I feel like clearing some misconceptions. First of all you have to understand that being aroused is not necessarily the same as having an erection. You can have an erection without being aroused and you can be aroused without an erection. Having an erection is just a physical indicator for arousal, but yeah it’s just that.

    “You should be turned on” you stated, followed by “watching porn”, well if that’s how you get arousal going, you might want to reconsider your consumption of porn in general. Arousal usually just comes naturally, without the assistance of porn or jerking. However if you are so used to porn assistance, you might have rewired your brain into exactly that. That’s unfortunately the mentally for a failure. Watching too much porn lets you skip all the pleasurable sensations and jump right to the end (orgasm and ejaculation).

    I remember asking the exact same thing as i started: like how is arousal possible while being relaxed. Trust me, it is! Here’s the catch tho, as males we are the active part, where females tend to be on the passive side. And to put it simply: let the toy do whatever the toy does, just observe without interference. We always think: what can we do to improve the situation: maybe i should do stronger contractions, maybe i should watch porn, maybe i should add binaural beats to the mix, maybe do some poppers, maybe smoke some ganja, maybe x y z, the list goes on and on. Be passive and let your body take over, your conscious thinking mind won’t help you in any way. The more you let go (of control) and the more relaxed you are – the easier it gets to feel sensations. Imagine you want to hear a birds chirping noise in a crowded city, easy to miss right? It’s the same concept, if your mind is too active (or crowded) you’ll miss the prostate sensations.

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