Things I’m learning about myself doing daily sessions that have nothing to do with orgasm.

I first bought a progasm about 2 years ago. I used it for a while but stopped mostly out of feeling embarrassed and insecure.

Recently I’ve been doing this for 2 and a half weeks almost daily. It’s not a long time but it’s been eye opening on an emotional level. I think I’m now understanding why I wanted to abruptly end my exploration a couple years ago. Shame.

I’ll do a session and during a session and after I start to appreciate my sphincter, my pelvis, my prostate, my breathing. I feel sexual and delicate. I think I am fearful or anxious about this. I have anxieties about my sexuality and traditional beliefs about body parts that were never healthy. When I place an object into my anus I feel embarrassed and ashamed. The irony is that those feelings also turn me on too. I think I need to process this more and really identify areas of shame about my body instead of running away or over eroticizing those feelings. I need to deal with my attitudes and beliefs about my body, my sexual fantasies and hopefully love myself at the end of dealing with it.

I’ve also found a new energy with my sex life with my wife. It’s only been 2.5 weeks but I’m really interested in being more communicative with her. Im also more interested in having sex with her. I’ve been married with her for 23 years and it’s not as easy to be into it all the time. Im really into it now.

I’m also noticing that I want more out of my life. Why don’t I have more hobbies or friends? I used to do so many things? This has been on my mind more than ever in the last 2 weeks. Weird. I used to be content with my mediocrity now I’m not.

Im also learning about being vulnerable to myself. Self intimacy. Im starting to embrace being under the thumb of sensations and moods that are not my own power, or control. Im learning to nurture and water a seed inside of me that turns into a wave of warmth or a shiver. It’s almost feminine energy. My traditional perception of masculine energy is gently caressed and placed in a drawer while I am just learning how to ‘be’. I’m starting to ask myself why I don’t buy nicer things. Why I don’t moisturize my skin, sit in a sauna or relax more. WTF ? Why do I reject doing good things for my body?

Oh, I can also pee really quickly and effortlessly. I didn’t think I had any issues but it just seems like it’s so much easier. I just piss on command. No waiting at all.

I hope I didn’t bore anyone. It’s just odd how so many things are changing or being realized after inserting a plastic object in my ass and doing keegals. The mind controls the body and the body controls the mind.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/15k9v2p/things_im_learning_about_myself_doing_daily/

10 comments

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  2. Great post! Part of re-wiring is getting in better touch with our mind and body. So much pleasure and sensations to explore didn’t know about when cock obsessed. Now open to new things and so much exploring to do!

  3. Love this post man. Society has fucked men up IMHO. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was untangle what I believe (to be right/good/ok/healthy/etc) from what I was taught.

    Good for you and good luck on this journey.

  4. Very happy for you! Sounds like you’re really beginning to come to terms with a lot of things.

  5. It’s a journey of self discovery, allowing yourself to embrace sensitivity. It will make you a better person, embrace it!

  6. You need to share this with more men. A lot of men are afraid to be themselves, they try and fit societal norms. I personally think that men should be able to be however they feel. You should be able to be masculine and feminine and not feel ashamed or guilty. Part of the problem these days is that people worry too much about what other people are doing. If you want to understand femininity you have to understand it. Who cares what people think about what you do in the privacy of your own home. Just be you, do what you want and do no harm to others. Don’t let society dictate who you are, what you like or how to be. Do what makes you feel empowered and go with the flow but don’t be ashamed of who you are!

    I like it when people are honest about who they are. I think many men would do well to open their horizon and experience things before they judge it. How can you form an opinion about something that you know nothing about?

  7. Great post. I would say that the changes you are experiencing sound good. I have had lots of things change for myself. Isn’t it interesting this journey we are on. Best of luck.

  8. Nice post man. I think most of us have felt that shame at some point at least considering we’re all men here and probably grew up in either the same or similar society. At the end of the day it’s your body and you’re getting pleasure from it, it’s just that simple. No need to have hangups about “is this gay?”. I know it’s not easy to let go of that stuff though, especially for those born in an earlier generation.

    On a random note, I also recently asked myself “why don’t I moisturize” as well and bought some moisturizing lotion. It’s worth it 100%! There are lotions out there marketed toward men that have a nice, more “masculine” scent. I’d highly recommend trying it out since you had the thought. I remember asking myself “why the hell have I not being doing this until now?”. My skin feels softer, doesn’t dry out, I smell better. Would recommend 100%.

    There’s nothing “unmanly” about taking care of your body. It’s considered manly to take great care of your car, your tools, your house, etc. But when it comes to our own bodies, we have this weird hangup. I have heard of some men who don’t even properly wash their own ass because they think “it’s gay”. Sometimes we can be so dumb lol. But hey – it’s the society in which we were raised. Not 100% our fault.

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