Older guys, what worked for you?

I am a 45 year old straight guy who suffers from occasional hemorrhoids. I have up until this point never really done much anal play. I have experimented here and there with fingers but never got anything out of it and thought it just was not for me. I am fairly open about sex but just never got much from anal play. Recently though I ran across the Aneros site after reading about it while browsing /sex, which, by the way, not sure you younger guys realize just what a treasure having all this info at your fingertips is. Wish I had that resource when I hit puberty! At any rate. After reading about the therapeutic effects of prostate massage and it's benefits, that it helps with prostate health, hemorrhoids, and the awesome pleasure, I decided to give it a try. I bought a few cheap massagers but none of them did much of anything. After browsing Aneros for awhile, I decided to try one out. I bought a Helix Syn and have had 10 or so sessions with it in the last month or so. I am in a relationship and have not shared this with my wife yet, though if it goes well, I will. Just not ready to share this yet. That does limit the times I have to play around with it. The first session I immediately got mild P-waves, which, while not close to intense, was a result I had never gotten before. Second session more P-waves at about the same intensity. Both times it started off well and then tapered away as I tried to control things or focused on form too much. Some sessions not much of anything happened, then the last few sessions things seemed to progress a bit. One session I had my first involuntaries, which were interesting but not necessarily pleasurable. Then the last session I seemed to zero in more on which muscles to use and which ones to relax and felt the first stirrings of good sensation, including Pwaves, involuntaries and the tingling. All were fleeting and only happened a few times, but I see progress. reading this sub, the forums on Aneros and the Wiki really helped. The Tug of War method from the Wiki was what helped with the correct muscles to use and I noticed that the less is more approach really helped. I am just fighting a lifetime of muscle memory from traditional orgasms and sex but I can see where the rewiring comes in. Quite awhile back I discovered nipple play and that has been fantastic and the wife takes full advantage of it as do I. That definitely seems to help. My usual method is to wait until after a BM, then get out the Helix and lube up with Vaseline, Coconut oil and water based lube. I do plan on ordering unrefined Shea Butter to see how that works. I have tried lots of positions. The best results seem to come from being on my back with a pillow under my butt, knees straight up with feet on the bed. Standing, walking, sideways or on all fours did not seem to do much of anything. I can tell that I need to strengthen muscles that have seem little use ever to get further down the road. I am excited about the journey. I would love to hear from other older men on their experiences getting started with prostate massage and what worked for them. I wish I had come across this when I was younger and orgasms were still mind blowing experiences. As I have gotten older they have lessened in intensity and I find myself trying to find more and more ways to turn things on, though things are still quite enjoyable. Looking forward to the path ahead!