Frustration. I fail at the contraction technique AND the relaxation technique after almost 1 year.

Here`s the deal:

The relaxing technique where you just lie there and relax your anus brings me SO close to the super O. The eletrical, warm and tingle-feeling, spasms and shaking, AND involuntaries. Last night my stomach contracted so hard that it felt like a workout : ) BUT, then it stops : (

When i use the contraction technique, i get to the eletrical, warm and tingle-fase. Then it stops. But i know why: At this fase my prostate has swelled up so that i loose touch with the muscles in my anus. The muscles gets tense and there is less room for movement.

After 1 year of practice i feel like a failure : (

Any tips? : )