Journal post-ride – I am a body of water

Hey all – been lurking for a while for tips but haven’t had a session in a while that warranted any hullabaloo. Had some thoughts and unique feelings during and after this most recent session that I wanted to share. No super-o or breakthroughs, but just some deep feelings I experienced. A little background on my journey thus far:

First off, I got absolutely ruined the first time I *really* used Aneros. I had a helix for a minute and my first time using it resulted in a whole lot of nothing. Just laid there and pfft, nothing. What a trick I had been put under. I had some experience with other anal toys like dildos and plugs, but that was my first massager experience. Not going to act like some expert, but anal play had started to become something I dabbled in.

Cut to a year later in lockdown, I decided to give it another try, which I consider my first REAL ride. Used coconut oil, slid it in and laid with my legs down in kind of a parenthesis shape ( ), just trying to relax. I remember it hitting me almost instantly. My dick got rock hard quickly and it felt like I was cumming, but nothing was coming out. This happened about three times and the next day my anus was tingling well into the early afternoon. I could barely work that day. I think that because I truly had no expectations, my experience was quick and fruitful. On the same hand, after that point my bar was permanently set too high, and I haven’t been able to reach that pinnacle again. Every time I hear Steely Dan’s “Time Out of Mind” and specifically the lyric “tonight when I chase the dragon” (in reference to chasing the first heroin high), I think of trying to replicate that Aneros session. Ugh.