Communication and Expectations

My wife said she was fine with my prostate play. She liked the intensity of ejaculations. As I started to rewire it was good to share the experience and she could get better feedback on how subtle touches were really impacting me. Nipples, inner thighs, low back, all produced small orgasmic shocks at times.

As we explored this journey, one night, I went for my Helix and she said no, not today. This led to a difficult and powerful conversation. We discovered that she did not ask permission for her vibrator but I was expected to ask permission for my helix or I was sheepish about what I want in bed.

Turns out she was concerned about sexual activity becoming about the orgasm, ejaculation, or the "getting off" and never considered that I might view the vibrator in a similar manner. I don't but she clearly saw her fear and a double standard.

I have some ambivalence about anal play. It is increased along with excitement when we play together.

The techniques of Aneros involve a different type of interaction than straight sex. Guys don't "meditate" to find the zone and orgasm. Women do take a trip in their body and find waves and have orgasms.

As we talked through all these issues we found some important insights. She realized an opportunity to coach me about the orgasm journey. She worked through feeling replaced by a piece of plastic. I am working on sheepishness. Some stuff just makes you horny. The list goes on but you get the idea.

How it started

This is about how things started. PreAneros. My wife and I found a prostate stimulating probe. Cheap. Looking back she was not interested in this but wanted me to have fun on my own.

It was small, black, and it vibrated. It was not enough to get me off but it was fun.

The next was a cheap knock off. We were involved in foreplay and mutual masturbation. She had an orgasm and fell asleep. After 10 minutes of feeling horny, I got waves of pleasure. They didn't stop for 20 minutes. I was breathing heavy, having contractions, giggling, and crying. She was asleep by this point.

This toy never "produced" again. It was impossible to clean and it was tossed out. I was hooked and went searching for something that would last. Aneros.