Author: smudgefish

Tantric sex

I’m a bit disillusioned with orgasming using the aneros method. I have had some good success but it seems to take hours of effort to get any returns at the moment, probably just me. I have been meaning to read about tantric sex for a while and found some good information this morning; it’s similar to what I am doing but involves direct masturbation or sex and subverting energies away from a normal ejaculatory orgasm, together with energy circulation. What I like about it is the emphasis on meditation and energy circulation rather than the rather vague technique of aneros.

I tried it quickly and managed to get 2 quick dry orgasm before I accidentally ejaculated. That was quite a good start. I tried again later in the day and managed to get into a continuous state of orgasm with a few small prostate contractions but I was frightened of ejaculating, possibly concentrating on that too much, and of course ended up ejaculating )again!(. I am going to keep experimenting, and try to circulate the energy more, at least I am guaranteed an orgasm of some sort each time I do it, so in many ways it is way better than the aneros technique.

I meditated again today and managed to hold some long periods of a clear mind. I gave up after only 20 minutes because my mind was starting to chatter too much. Read more »

Meditation

I have had some amazing success with higher levels of orgasm this week and sort of forgotten about my meditation. I am quite exhausted form work and staying up late trying to orgasm, and I keep waking up early in fact I have been doing that since my adventure began. I wake with butterflies of excitement in my stomach and I can't seem to stop this happening. Maybe my excitement is a bit out of control and actually bringing it under control would do me some good. It's an energy that I can't control which can't be good.

Intuitively I know I have to get back to meditation and resist the urge to just try for another orgasm. In reality I don't feel like orgasming anyway right now and deep down I know that.

On trying to meditate I could feel the butterflies again, so tried to meditate on that and just let it flow which sort of dissipated it. Just accepting it and observing it seemed to work, rather than fighting it or trying to understand it.

Then I had a realisation that my mind was not still. I always have thoughts going through my head even when I think I am quiet and relaxed. I'm writing a journal and thinking about how I am going to describe what is happening, it's almost an addiction. I stopped those thoughts and at last my mind went quiet and I hung onto that. For the first time ever I had a quiet mind with no thoughts, I ignored any that came up. Probably for 10 minutes I held onto a quiet mind with just a few interruptions. It was quite a new sensation and I think this is what I am missing from my meditation. Read more »

Getting better

Tw nights ago I had my first super-O for a while. The night after I was too tired and got nowhere so gave up.

Last night it took a while but once I broke throught into an orgasm I knew it was going to be good again. I was still very tired from lack of sleep and long working hours so my mind wasn't really in the right place and I was doubting myself and worried I might 'lose it' but it was still something amazing. Had I been totally rested I think I would have had the best experience of my life.

It started as a strong prostate orgasm with a sort of dreamy feel washing over me. I relaxed and found that I started getting an anal orgasm which I haven't experienced before, together with some deeper sensations. Then I went into an intense prostate/abdominal orgasm that completely took my breath away and left me bend double gasping for breath totally locked in a continuous wave of pleasure that held on to me for several minutes – it was one long burst of electricity shooting up through me that just went on and on and one of the most intense things I have ever had.

I really need to get some sleep and I'm sure this could get even better still.

Wow

I'm not sure what happened last night but what I had described as super-Os last week were without any doubt definitely nothing like super-O's.

What hit me last night was the most extreme pleasure I have ever experienced in my life, and was definitely even beyond what I had in my first few days using the aneros. I wasn't expecting anything like what I was treated to. It was good from the moment the orgasm set in I was out of control being swept along in a river of pleasure, I don't think I was even in control of my breathing to start with. Wave after wave of strong prostate contractions that were more intense and satisfying than anything I have had before to start with, and when I purposely relaxed and allowed those to subside a second sensation grew from deeper inside me that took my breath away and for a few minutes I could only lie with my head thrown back allowing a sensation that was beyond words to flow through me. I couldn't even tell where it was coming from it just completely flooded my body with pleasure.

I want more of those!

Good and bad

Well, yesterday I made some real progress. I have learnt that I need to relax more and stop chasing an orgasm. I managed to get to some heights of pleasure using this mindset.

In the morning I relaxed so much I fell asleep and was woken immediately with a big headrush of excitement much like the Kundalini rushes I got when I was having my Kundalini Syndrome, and I felt high all day, that was a really encouraging development, and very welcome.
The family went out for an hour so I had another session and was getting very close to orgasm when they returned but had to call it a day. Encouraged I had a further session in the afternoon when they were watching a film and built up to some amazing feelings, just started to feel a wonderful orgasm come on when my daughter came bursting into the bedroom )I was fully clothed( to see the cat who had decided to sit on top of me. Of course that aborted any orgasm I might have enjoyed.

I was quite devastated and felt massive disappointment after getting somewhere at last after hours of hard mental effort and self control. It started me back in a downward spiral. A further try on going to bed was a complete disappointment hardly surprising given how I was feeling. Read more »

Long way to go

An update on where I am.

I seem to be having a very different journey to others. It hasn't been easy. Emotions all over the place and it has ended up being largely a spiritual journey. When I first started I expected that by now I would be reaching the heights of pleasure I read about on the forum but that is far from where I am at.
I haven't been able to reach an orgasm for quite some time now and have still not come close to my first ever whole body orgasm 2 months ago. It's a big disappointment but I have learnt so much in other ways and I hang on to the thought that I know I am capable of something amazing once I learn how to get there again.

There are so many things going on in parallel.

Spiritually I have learnt a massive amount but still have much to learn. A clairvoyant friend has offered to act as a tutor and she seems to understand me well. She tells me to be patient and is guiding my meditation and explaining things to me as they happen. I am finding Buddhist teachings helpful and recognise all the negative thoughts that are blocking my progress, and I'm working on those and trying to become a better more caring person.
My friend has told me about my spirit guides and one in particular who is helping with spiritual development. I have felt him near me as I meditate, seen his face once, and he has spoken to me a few times. When I asked him for help my next google search brought up Buddhist teachings I think he guided me to that. Read more »

Quiet after the storm

Yesterday was a bit mind blowing. I think it was, after my wedding day, and the day each of my children was born, the best day of my life. I feel like a different person today, much more patient and calm.

Today feels very calm, I even feel a bit low, but it see it as another stage in the process that I am going through and I feel it rather than try to understand it.
I found memories of being some very painful events in my life coming to mind today, being made fun of, being put down at work and feeling helpless and victimised. I think it’s all solar plexus stuff, nothing too heavy just a few thoughts coming into my head. I can also feel a pressure in the solar plexus area as if something is happening. I feel like just an observer at the moment. I need to let it just happen, this in unpredictable it has a mind of its own.

I’m off work for this week so able to relax. I lay down in the field and brought myself to an Aless orgasm, it touched on a super-O. It’s incredible that I can orgasm like this fully clothed at any time, without anything to clean up after.

Weird

Things get weirder and weirder, in a nice way.

My last 4 orgasms have been interesting. They haven't lasted long. Each time I start to orgasm I feel my pleasure ramping up rapidly but I don't have time to enjoy it much because I feel something building that I have to concentrate on. It's a very deep almost unbelievably powerful pleasure, maybe just another super-O I'm not sure. It sits there and I have no option but to feel it build, my whole body convulsing uncontrollably, but with anticipation rather than any realised pleasure. Each time it gets stronger and it's driving me mad that I can't have it. Each time it seems to get closer I think it's starting to spread and then it stops, and eventually I have to give in because the pressure is starting to get uncomfortable and I have to stop. I try relaxed observation, I try just enjoying it and feeling the pleasure building, but it's like my body just can't quite accept it yet and give in to it, it's too powerful for me.
Somehow if feels like a super-O building, but in other ways it feels different, even more powerful. I will only know once it hits me and I can't wait because it's going to be good. Read more »

Kundalini stuff

I think I am feeling more changes that are part of my awakening. I'm confused and feeling very low. I have had a few ups and downs but in general felt that I was getting somewhere. Yesterday I started to feel very low indeed and feel as if I have lost something. I can't really put it into words.

Last night I meditated and got the feeling of loneliness, more of a thought really and not a true feeling. I can't make sense of things. Every time I have thought I knew what was happening to me it has turned out completely different. I want to know what is happening. I feel as if I am being selfish feeling like this, it's all about me, and there are people with far worse problems out there. In fact I really don't like myself right now. I have become a pointless waste of space with no emotion just feeling sorry for myself.

I had an orgasm last night, the physical sensations were the same as a super-O, convulsions shot through my whole body but I felt absolutely no pleasure at all, absolutely nothing. I was dead from the waist down. I have got problems.

I suppose I just have to go with this. I really can't put it into words it's a hopeless muddle of negative thoughts and lack of emotion. I can't 'feel' it at all I'm just dead.

Another super-O

I wasn't expecting much last night but got the best super-O in weeks that I could actually enjoy without interruption for a change.

At first I thought it was going to be dud session. No sensations at all for the first 5-10 minutes and I almost gave up. The it started to build, very slowly. As I slipped into an orgasm it immediately became a whole body experience, electricity shooting through me into my arms and legs and I was determined to enjoy it to the full. Wave after wave of orgasmic energy flowed into every bit of me, my body convulsed and I could hardly catch my breath. I love feeling of losing control giving in to the intensity if the pleasure flowing inside me. It was like magic and lasted 20-30 minutes.

I'm not sure quite why some sessions give me a super-O, others just a pelvic orgasm, although I throughly enjoy those as well. The super-Os seem to take longer to develop, I'm not sure it's got anything to do with relaxation, I'm going to keep experimenting.