god's truth now

ok I have to admit it now, cause I need to be open and honest, I am afraid of aneros because I am keeping it a "secret" from my partner. I know I shouldn't but I don't want to have him think I am weird or that I am off on some wild tangent. I want so much to discover the pleasure of the prostate adventure, so I can share it with him, but I have to prove it to myself first. Still waiting for it to arrive.
I have made many refreences to it in our talks but not told him completely about ordering it, or that I will want to try it for a while before I let him know about it. any suggestions?