Curious responses & Deepening Depression

Had another session a couple evenings ago. My technique to try that time was to flex my PC muscles for as long as I was able so that it pushed my prostrate right against the Helix. This was pretty successful. It was much easier to get to a point of having Mini-O's and one a little greater than a mini. Although there was a fair amount of strain involved which seems to me to not be the way to super-O's. I say this because during my last mini-O of the session, as it kicked in, I found that if I had continued to flex my PC muscles, I'm pretty sure it would have initiated the ejaculation response. Yet once the orgasm did start, and I felt close to ejaculating, I just let go and relaxed all muscles and had a wonderfully weird orgasm. It felt light and airy. As if the without the ejaculation it lacked a certain depth, or meatyness to it. Still enjoyable, but not so intense as to rock my world… yet! 😀 I do think that this technique is of temporary help to me by showing me what it feels like to have a dry orgasm. And that at some point I won't have to strain and carefully control my muscles to get there.

On the other hand. Even though I had a good session with some nice pleasurable mini-O's. I didn't seem all that excited or enthusiastic about it like I was when I first started experiencing pleasurable sensations from Aneros usage.

I have noticed that my depression has been dragging me back down this last week. Hopefully not here to stay. But it does have a negative effect on my mental arousal, among other things, even though my body is often quite aroused. I can only hope that this is just the arrow being drawn back so it can gain the energy needed to shoot forward.