Penis Envy

Ok gentlemen … here is the most honest blog entry I have ever done. Any of you who have chatted with me already know this, but to the rest of you all …. Here it is ….. enjoy. The motivation for this entry is a fascination that has come from rewiring; that is my newly awakened sexuality. Being open and honest about this took some time but a few years ago I crossed the thresh hold and shared my feelings with friends on line and now here it is here.

I find erect cocks and male nudity to be incredibly sexy and very sensual. I am turned on big time by the sight of guys in aroused states, their members rigid and straining against their crotches, as if they were desperately trying to separate themselves from the groin they are anchored in.

I am particularly turned on if the cock is hard set in it's erection, gently curved in rigid lust and shiny smooth as it oozes a big fat drop of crystal clear pre cum or even better is erupting with opaque white cum. I have discovered this appreciation is not unique to me. I have talked to a number of other guys here on the site whose sexuality has evolved deeply as mine has as a result of MMOing and experiencing deep prostate orgasms. It does not signify any diminished appreciation or desire for women on my part, in fact if anything it has enhanced by desire for and erotic appreciation of female sexuality.

I am a decidedly heterosexual male. I am not bi or gay, besides names are irrelevant at this point. I am a sensual man who delights in all things sexual regardless of gender. I love cunnilingus and the mysterious sensuality of a vagina, but I also have this incredible erotic fascination with beautiful cocks. I hadn’t ever experienced arousal from viewing a well crafted erect penis in my younger years, but now it is a huge turn on. I know this new source of arousal is a direct result of the new sensuality and erotic ability that has been given to me in the practice of SDO’s or MMO’s. The availability of photos on the web has been a source of immense excitement for me. It is not the sex acts or guys kissing or guys together. It is also not over the top muscle men with shaved heads flexing their muscles, or standing with bandoliers on their chests, with arms full of guns. It is a regular normal looking guy with a long hard penis that is an honest physical expression of his desire and arousal. It is evidence of his sexual desire suspended between his legs. Truth is it is not even the guy, it’s his penis.

It bothered me at first but then the more Aneros compatriots I talked to, I heard stories of my fascination being equaled by theirs. In particular I found that followers of tantric sex have the same appreciation that I do. When I am immersed in waves of prostate orgasms, it is the mental imagery of those sexy hard, drooling cocks that propels me from one blissful set of orgasms to the next. The thought of sucking them or even better being fucked by one will propel me to the pinnacle of prostate orgasmic pleasure.

When I thought about the very specific taste I have in the small collection of “cock shots” that I have collected, oddly most of them resemble my own cock.

The funny thing is that I do not collect these photos and look at them in fascination due to my own inadequacy, because my cock is more than adequate. I am 8-9 inches erect. So it is definitely not me debasing myself or trying to counteract my own anatomical inadequacies.

I look at these cocks in erotic arousal and allow myself to feel the same arousal they do. There is an element of empathy in that arousal. Seeing a drooling penis taut with desire inspires me to feel the same erotic excitement. But there is something much deeper here. With my sexuality secure and my confidence in my sexuality at the highest point it has ever been in my life, I am free. I am free to give into real feelings and visceral sexual responses with no guilt of fear of being accused of being gay.

At 60 years old I do not have to profess my masculinity, or defend my machismo. It is there just as it always has been; it does not need defending. I am a heterosexual man and I am confident in that although admittedly I am certainly more respectful and understanding of gay men now. Although I was always open minded about homosexuality, I now have a new respect for my gay brothers.

An aroused penis is a beautiful thing. Just as my lovers vagina in its aroused state fascinates me in all of its subtlety and eroticism, so does my own cock and the hardened cocks of men that I have seen on line. An aroused penis is not subtle; it is a bold statement of desire and need. It is a part of me that transforms itself in response to my inner most erotic thoughts and emotions. It is an instrument of sensuality; it is capable of inciting deep ecstacy when it penetrates the pussy of my lady lover or the pink anus of my male sex partner. It is a source of my male lust and erotic sense of self. It is the means that I use to join with my lover and enter her body; injecting her withthe cream of my passion. It is the means whereby I enter her and share my liquid passion with her. Reciprocally it is the part of me that she accepts inside of her own body, thereby establishing this special closeness with me that she has with no one else. Our sexual bond unites us. My penis grants me the ability to exercise that bond.

On another guy it is an organ whose smooth warmth I can imagine in my mouth as it regurgitates his cum and fills my mouth with hot ropes of his pleasure.

It is for all of these reasons that this organ between my legs has become incredibly sexy in my eyes. It is also the reason that the sight of well formed cocks stirs awe, erotic attraction, lust and deep respect in me.

At this point in my life I consider myself blessed that I can be turned on by the exquisite sensuality of a woman and at the same time be equally stirred by the divine beauty of a penis in all its aroused glory.

I offer this admission to all men who share the unashamed appreciation of male sexuality that I do.



  1. Wonderfully written. My curiousness about prostate massage had led me to Aneros. Aneros had led me to enjoying some incredible sensations which awakened the bi-curiosity of my teens. Riding with other guys while on chat and masturbating while reading blog entries has been many of the highlights while browsing on this site. I always knew I loved everything about women from how they smelled, how they look, their soft touch etc. but I have come appreciate the beauty that can be seen in men. The strength, raw power and a man's firm touch gets me going.

    I believe for me, this attraction is internal. It's how I want to view myself. Big muscles, big cock, just the perfect male specimen. I'm satisfied with my own appearance but who wouldn't want perfection!

    Another thing is I know how good it feels when a man orgasms. I know how it feels when a mouth, hand or pussy is on a hard cock. Recently, I started to watch gay porn because I was curious and never realized how much I liked some of it. Not so much the fucking but the touching, kissing and blowjobs did it for me. There's something about big, strong muscle studs embracing one another that seemed authentic.

    Again great entry, it definitely spoke to me if I typed out this much of a reply :(

  2. Whoooaaaa!!!! You have a way with words. I mean if you could see my hard throbbing wet dick after reading this. But i so understood it all. I mean as a gay man why can't another man just love the look of a nice erect penis. The fact that aneros brought this new knowledge out of you is even cooler.

  3. Hi lingaman,

    I cannot add much as a comment except to say that you have a way with words. I first met you on LPSG over two years ago. Your eloquence on sexual intercourse and the Aneros were a catalyst toward getting my first Aneros models in December 2011.

    The erect penis of many guys is stunning, actually beautiful. Maleness in its vibrancy. The glans penis is flared, angry, turgid, and laden with exquisite tactile delight to both owner and his lover. But hidden at the other end of the phallus is the prostate. Most guys when they orgasm and ejaculate feel the exquisite and pleasurable pulsation of their prostates. The Aneros was invented to facilitate good prostate health but also the enhance sexual pleasure in men.

  4. I remember meeting you BGDC. I was impressed with your openess. You are right on the money. The sensuality of my own and other guys erections does indeed ignite a fire in me. For years I did not know that i had this desire in me. When I inserted one of these amazing devices in my anus it was like a key that unlocked a world of indescribable pleasure. Ever since then I have been struggling to describe it. Sometimes I feel like I am getting closer to eloquently expressing the lust and arousal that seethes in my cock and anus and other times I feel like a clumsy oaf who =se words are like wood.

    I am glad that they resonate with you and I am glad that I have had some influence on your sexuality and eroticism.

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