I feel as if I’m doing something wrong. A lot of people here talk about enjoying the experience, and learning the contractions, and just enjoying the p-waves. But I feel no contractions; I keep thinking I do, but it’s not my rectal muscles fluttering, it’s just my pelvic muscles. And I enjoy the experience of being aroused, but it’s really hard to keep that up when I feel disappointed at not getting any kind of warm, fluttery feeling. The big issue I think is that I’m having trouble actually isolating the muscles I should be using. Like:
* should I feel muscles in my plevis, or up my back squeezing my base muscle when I try really hard?
* how hard do the actual muscles clench? is it a really sublte feeling, or does it feel like clenching a bicep muscle?
* what does the pre p-wave pleasure feel like?
I’ve been following Mindgasm, trying to deeply relax (almost like entering a trance), but I don’t even know if I’m flexing the correct muscles. At *best* I’ve felt a light pleasantness in the prostate, but it barely feels like enough to keep coming back. Any tips? Diagrams? Better descriptions of what pre-p-wave pleasure is supposed to feel like?
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/m84w04/having_trouble_isolating_muscles_feeling_pleasure/
should not feel anything in your back, other than maybe your back arching some, the feeling is all in the pelvis around the anal muscles and prostate.
you should not clench anything hard intentionally, it is a much much more subtle contraction. trying too hard can kill the buildup, you have to relax.
here is a trick to help learn the muscle contraction. it contradicts with the last paragraph a bit but it’s more a way to get more familiar with the muscles down there: with aneros in, do a kegel flexed all the way, and hold it for a while. as your muscles get tired, try to relax the contraction as gradually as possible. if your muscles are fatigued they’ll sort of “flutter”, similar to how your arm might shake when picking up something really heavy. with practice you can just go straight to that fluttering without fatiguing the muscle first.
p wave pleasure feels (to me) kinda like feeling extremely turned on, but focused in the mind and prostate area, not the penis.
Some people have mindblowing experiences first time (the **very** lucky at least).
Others it takes years to have the kind of extreme experiences you can read about online.
Learning to feel pleasure (or p-waves as it is so often called) back there will be a big step for you it sounds like. One that will hopefully help motivate you.
Because as long as it feels good, it doesn’t feel like time wasted, right?
I recommend Kegels too. It’s the kind of thing you can practice without an Aneros inserted, so no prep, easy right.
You don’t need the muscles down there strong, You don’t need to clench really hard either.
It IS a subtle feeling, something most have to learn to appreciate and that was the key for me.
Take a little time each day to focus your mind down there and clench your muscles. Your goal is to start enjoying that feeling, as you’re right, it’s REALLY HARD to build sensations from nothing.
As to what it should feel like… hmmm…
You know the feeling you get from stretching out? Like a pleasant tension being relieved in your back (or arms or wherever). For me, it’s a bit like that.
Actually isolating the muscles is probably something for you to focus on further down the line. (It will be a worthy goal once you’ve made a start though.)
Good luck!
One thing that took me a while but when I learned it made all the difference is distinguishing between flexing the muscles around my anus vs my pelvis, so I understand your plight. Definitely follow /u/morphophonological’s direction on the manual clench to initiate involuntaries. Experience visceral involuntaries was really helpful for me to pinpoint those muscle groups and learn to use them.
Once I gained this understanding it was much easier to take my foot off the gas and “let it happen” as they say. My best orgasms start out feeling so subtle that the p-gasm takes hold before I even think to clench anything, all I do is relax and try to open up all my muscles. I try to actively relax the small of my back and guide the waves up into my shoulders. And bing bang boom see ya tomorrow time to orgasm for 90 minutes.
Side note: I greatly enjoy your typo “plevis” lol!
Edit: pre pwave pleasure, hmm.. the best way I can describe my experience is it feels like (and not in a bad way) scratching an itch or massaging a sore muscle. It’s hard to relate, because it doesn’t actually feel like those things, but the idea of them relates so closely that I imagine it that way. It starts out as a nice release of pleasure and then grows into a radiating pleasure and then you’re scooting towards p-gasm street.