Looking for advice – close but never get there.

Hey all,

I’ve been using my aneros toy for about 7 months now. For the most part, it feels amazing, and I really enjoy using it. Unfortunately, I always seem to hit a roadblock and never actually orgasm.

Basically I can feel all the sensations building up and it feels like I’m going to have one, but then my body just tenses up completely, involuntaries stop, and then the feeling just fades away. I’m not sure how I can get around that or how to control this. Any advice would be appreciated!

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/aneros/comments/nipz9y/looking_for_advice_close_but_never_get_there/


  1. It took my 2 years of trying. (Not all at once). If you are enjoying the feelings. Keep going. My advice. Don’t chase the orgasm let it find you. That is what I found made it work.

  2. It sounds to me like once you start getting good feelings you start looking forward or expecting an orgasm. Instead try to just go into deeper relaxation and try to breathe through the feelings. Stay in the moment with the feelings don’t look ahead to what may come.

  3. It’s a process. The practice is subtle, not strenuous. You can’t really make it happen, especially when YOU think it should, but you can create the conditions for it to make itself happen if it can, if that makes any sense. Second the poster who suggested the breathing and relaxation. Once you get that down and get in the habit of appreciating the subtle feelings and rewiring, you have a better chance.

    I was doing really well a while ago and had my first super O. It blew my mind. I haven’t been able to repeat it but I am back into the practice and loving it. I went through two months of frustration before I started over at the beginning. The teacher appears when the student is ready lol.

  4. Relaxation is the key.

    And not trying to force anything, if you use the do nothing method… and you start to feel something… don’t move to try push it… simply keep doing nothing and just focus on the feelings.

    Feels like if you try to create more movement etc you lose the super o path

  5. Relax and don’t force it , lube is very important so that your toy will keep moving freely during your session. Enjoy the buildup and try to ride each one higher until you reach your tipping point.

  6. I’ve been experiencing the same thing. I did notice the intense buildups lasting longer when i tried to focus more on breathing and just remaining calm, so i 100% believe these folks that are telling us to just relax. It has to be a sort of barrier we need to push through that we aren’t capable of recognizing yet until we push through that first time if that makes sense. Good luck to you.

  7. It’s been three days, and the comments make me realize I have such a long journey. 😭

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