Frustrated – tell me I just need to be patient

Hey, all!

I’ve been experimenting on and off with Aneros for a number of years, but have really been trying to consistently practice a couple of times per week for the past several months. I’m trying to assimilate everything that I read here and on the prostate play sub. I have an MGX classic, a Progasm Ice and recently got an NJoy wand which I was hoping was going to be a game-changer, but not so much. I use coconut oil as lube, and try to set aside 1-2 hours for sessions. After inserting, sometimes I will scroll through Reddit (often this sub), look at porn (less often past few months), listen to some binaural beats or just relax.

I try to start out with the do-nothing method, but after 30-60 minutes will start with some contractions, usually light, alternating PC with sphincter. I’ve done the free Mindgasm lessons, but don’t find them to be particularly enlightening.

I’m pretty sure that I get involuntaries, but most often occur Aless, in the shower and while driving – they feel like kind of a squirmy sensation just past the inner sphincter? They’re interesting, but not necessarily pleasurable. They feel kind of slow and rhythmic – maybe intervals of 15-20 seconds- nothing that would seem to stroke very quickly. Maybe I will occasionally get what I think is a subtle P-wave, particularly with a device inserted, but not often associated with an involuntary. More like, did I imagine myself into feeling that? In general, I seem to have a hard time getting involuntaries – if that’s what those squirmy things are – with a device inserted.

It’s hard to tell if any of my devices are making contact with my prostate, although I know that I have one, and it feels interesting / pleasurable if I massage it with a finger. However, I can’t keep that up long enough to really build anything. I don’t seem to get the same sensations with the NJoy, but maybe that’s because I’m not able to adjust the pressure / location the way that I can using a finger.

If I really grind with either end of the NJoy, while really gently stroking just below the frenulum, I can get a ton of pressure that will eventually turn into an ejaculatory O. I can see how, with patience and practice, that could probably turn into a HWFO. But, I really want to experience the HFDO and the multi / supers that may follow.

I’m sure that I am spending too much effort trying to “chase,” and need to figure out how to relax. THC is not an option for me, or other recreationals. I try to go into a session reminding myself that this is just “practice” and that if something happens, great, if not, OK too. I will often tell myself, “Hey, that was a great session,” trying to convince myself that I’m making progress. I will try not to end a session with an enhanced T, but I don’t seem to have a lot of willpower.

Sorry, TL:DR. Do I just need to chill out and be patient? Anybody with a similar journey that can provide support?




  1. I have the Helix trident, and a lot of times I can’t feel anything. The first time, I also wondered if it was making contact. Sessions can take a while to get going, and you really need to just relax and roll with whatever happens. Just hang in there, and you’ll start feeling it

  2. I had a similar journey to you, using the Aneros on and off for years. The odd pleasurable sensation, some involuntaries, and some very nice Super-Ts. Then I decided to try a new approach. Abstain from masturbation or sex, forgetting I even have a dick. Just use the Aneros. I had tried almost everything else, so this was kind of a last attempt.

    After two weeks my sessions were much better—my prostate felt much more sensitive and I could feel pleasure with each contraction. Kept at it for a few more weeks and had my first Super-O. This is, not surprisingly, the advice given on “Mindgasm” regarding prostate orgasms. You want to rewire. And if you continue having penile orgasms during that time, it makes it really hard.

    You will most likely get some wet dreams during the abstinence period, which doesn’t impact rewiring because there is no stimulation of your penis, just a spontaneous release.

  3. Relax and enjoy whatever you get. Release all expectations and as others have said avoid traditional ejaculation as part of your sessions.

    Pay close attention to the little feelings that are new. I sometimes rewind in my mind what happened to cause those feelings and try to repeat.

    One interesting thing I tried recently that was enlightening was doing an audio recording of my sessions and verbally saying things as notes and descriptions of what was happening and what I was feeling. Listening later gave me insight and things to think about for suture sessions.

  4. My number one piece of advice is to only have sessions when you’re aroused. If you’re not at least somewhat aroused when you’re putting the toy in, then it’s almost a surefire way to end up disappointed–trust me, I’ve been there lots of times. Other than that, just lots of patience and limiting expectations.

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