In two previous posts, I talked about what prostate orgasms are and described my own long journey of discovering how to have them. In the next few posts, I’ll describe different ways of stimulating the prostate so as to cause them.
Before we start, however, let me emphasize that one should not expect too much too soon. For many men,* and especially straight men, the sorts of sensations you will be experiencing when you start to stimulate your prostate will be unusual, and it will take time to learn what feels best to you, and what kinds of stimulation are most effective. If you’re not used to being penetrated anally, just adjusting to that sensation can take a while. So be patient with yourself. There are a lot of enjoyable feelings to be had here, even short of prostate orgasms.
Second, if you are going to play with your butt, then you are eventually going to run into a bit of poop. Usually, it will be just a tiny bit, and it isn’t that big a deal, but it’s not the most pleasant aspect of anal sex. Still, if the very idea of running into a bit of poop freaks you out, then butt play is probably not for you. It will be difficult to relax and focus on what you are feeling.
I tend to confine my anal play to the afternoons or evenings, as my rectum tends to be cleaner then, and to avoid anal play on days when things aren’t quite right down there. Very often, though not always, I’ll clean myself out before I get to playing. It feels good, and it makes it easier for things to move around inside you if there’s nothing blocking their way. Many people already have an appropriate device for this purpose. A lot of hot water bottles double as enema delivery systems. Most drugstores carry these if you don’t have one, and there are several simpler devices available as well, often advertised as anal douches.
You will want to use plenty of lube, since the anus and rectum are not naturally lubricated in any way. How much you need will depend upon what sort of play you are engaged in. If it involves in-and-out, thrusting motions, then you need more than if it involves just putting something inside yourself and leaving it there. Either way, however, you want to lubricate yourself inside and outside. For the inside part, I have found that a small syringe works perfectly. (Without a needle, of course!) You can fill it with lube, and then squirt it inside yourself. But whatever you use (and do make sure that it is appropriate to any toy you may be using, e.g., don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys), double check that it does not have any sharp edges. Ouch! And not in a good way, either.
You can’t wish yourself into having orgasms, so when it’s time to play and experiment, try to get yourself into a nice, relaxed, comfortable mood. Have a shower first, or a warm bath. You can massage your anus a bit, to start enjoying those sensations, while you get nice and clean. It’ll make your skin extra-sensitive, as well. And when you do start playing, try not to go right for the prize. That will only frustrate you. You have to learn a new way of having an orgasm, and that means you have to unlearn a lot of what you think you know about your body.
Most men’s sexuality is very centered on their penis. If you want to learn to have prostate orgasms, then one of the most important things you need to do is decouple your sexuality from your penis. You have to learn to let sensations from other parts of your body be the ones that drive you to orgasmic bliss. So stimulate your nipples. Stroke your stomach and the inside of your thighs. Massage the cheeks of your ass. Massage your anus. Delight in all of these sensations, just for what they are, and not for anything they might bring.
If you’re used to watching porn while you masturbate, give that a rest. Watch porn beforehand, if you like, or read some erotica, or whatever. Once you start playing, you will need to give your full attention to the sensations you will be experiencing. Your body is a wondrous thing. You are learning something wonderfully new about it. Honor that.
You are probably used to having an erection when you are aroused. But you may not get one from prostate stimulation. Or you may have one before you start and then lose it once you do. It does not matter. Your penis is not part of this experience. Until you understand this, you will not be able to have prostate orgasms.
You are probably used to doing something to cum. You are probably accustomed, as you near orgasm, to moving faster, pushing harder. Give that a rest, too. If you try to do something here, you will fail. You have to relax and just let it happen. As your arousal grows, focus on the feelings emanating from deep inside your body. Ignore your penis. Instead, focus on your breath, as if you are meditating. This can be a great way to focus your mind on what is happening inside you. It is inside you where the action will be, which is very different from how most men (especially most straight men) are used to experiencing sexual pleasure. But remember to breathe, even if you do not do it mindfully.
And remember: All of our bodies are different. I can tell you what has worked for me. But your body is not my body. Your intimate anatomy is different from mine. Your prostate has a different shape. It lies at a different place inside you. It is more or less sensitive than mine. It will take time for you to learn how to have prostate orgasms. Or maybe your body doesn’t work that way at all. Maybe your body orgasms in ways mine does not. It’s all good. Everything is normal.
Tag: Relaxation
Mental trampolines and smoke rings in my mind
)Warning: the first part of this is sort of dry. The last three paragraphs are the ones things get deeper and more interesting.(
I've had two sessions since I got my first additions to my Aneros collection. I've used both in the same pattern as it turns out. I got the two set of Peridise and have used the larger one to begin and end each session. I've used the Helix in the middle. The results have been astounding.
I think the Peridise works well for me in warming things up without going over the top, then returning to it when it's real easier for me to get pleasure from more subtle stimulation.
The Helix feels a little different than my MGX. There's pressure in slightly different spots. I can't tell if anything is particularly different when I'm in the heat dry O's and super O's. It's certainly not keeping me from enjoying myself that's for sure.
Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised from the start at the subtle feeling of pleasure when putting the Peridise in. I move things around inside for a while, but don't quite make it to dry O's during the initial use.
surprise! – further steps
Yesterday I did my sixt session. Mostly I practice every fourth day so that there are 3 full days between a session. Often this fails because I have no time or aren't in the mood. So I had two weeks of abstinence between my last two sessions.
And I experienced the benefits of that! What this was I will describe a few lines later.
The first (right done) Aneros session I did, I experienced a Super-T (wrote a blog entry to that). All other sessions were similar, because I always ended up with a Super-T. The quality of the first Super-T was the best and reaching Super-T’s all the time began to bore me.
But yesterday I broke the wall of Super T's and gained a new level ;)
Instead of lying on the stomach or back, I spontaneous decided to do something new and chose the position lying on the side with the upper knee bent.
The second big difference to the other sessions was the technique. I didn't produced hard contractions, but tried to hold gentle sqeezes with light differences in strenght. After a while I contracted the muscles in a way, that caused little shavings. This was a the first sign of very small involuntaries and time by time I got better in holding the right sort of contraction for causing more of these involuntaries.
You have to play with the different muscles you have in the pelvic floor and need to level the magnitude of tension. The involuntaries were very slightly and disappeared when I relaxed all muscels, so it was not this strong kind of involuntaries, described by other members. But it was a beginning.
Erotic Cock Massage
It is usually the case with me that when I set out to learn something I wind up learning so much more about something else in the process. When I began this sexual journey the goal was to learn about female sexuality and sexual response. In the process I have not only learned so much more about my own sexuality but I have expanded it as well.
Ultimately I have pushed my orgasmic response and my experience of sexual pleasure almost to the limits of my ability to cope with it.
I have become so much more aware of my sexual proclivities and the nature of my sexual desire . Most importantly I have really enhanced my sense of the erotic and sensual.
One of the things that I have learned to do is to relax, perceive and give in to the sensations that my body can create. If my mind is still and my body is relaxed I can experience erotic pleasure that I never knew of previously and savor it like a rich burgundy or the silky sweetness of fine chocolate. One of the most intimate and intensely pleasurable experiences is the giving and receiving of erotic massage.
So for all you ladies here is what I have learned and taught J about how to give me the most exquisite and ball draining perineal and cock massage.
Beyond Expectations
I hadn't been blogging about recent events. Things had progressed real well in the past week. I had my first experience with Super O's only 8 days into my journey. One probably lasted 3 minutes. I was overcome with pleasure and whimpering "Oh my god" over and over. It wasn't quite like what I had in mind. It's easy to say you'll put expectations aside, but it's hard to actually prevent any kind of images in that will form an idea of what will happen. There wasn't a sudden transition like with a traditional orgasm. The ebb and flow of sensation in my pelvis grew over time. It was almost imperceptible the way it grew and took over in the end. In retrospect it really had a lot to do with relaxing, exploring and letting go when my body got to a state that things could start to cascade.
Anyway, as for this evening I had my first session since my breakthrough Super O session on Sunday. My anus has been more sensitive lately. That has been a surprise. At times I've felt P-waves and then tingling from my anus.
I had hopes of having more Super O's, but I was able to continue focus on being relaxed and not trying to do too much. A couple times when the P-waves would start to ramp up I'd take a step back in my mind and take in what I was feeling without actively urging it on with nipple stimulation or any added anal/PC contractions. Things still progressed faster than in any session before. The P-waves were more "gritty", more tangible than in previous sessions.
How I Discovered Prostate Orgasms
I don’t remember when I discovered anal play or what led me to it. I’ve always enjoyed fucking my girlfriends in the butt, though I’ve only rarely had the pleasure. What I don’t recall is when or how I discovered how the pleasure to be had from my own butt being fucked.
I would prefer to have a )female( partner do me, but only on a few occasions have I been privileged to have someone else penetrate me with a dildo or vibrator. Most of my experiences of this kind have therefore been with myself.
Before we continue, let’s get one thing clear: A guy’s enjoying anal penetration does not ‘make him gay’. As has often been pointed out, the claim is absurd on its face. I mean, what is the argument? Gay men enjoy anal penetration; Fred enjoys anal penetration; so Fred must be gay! Well, gay men enjoy getting blowjobs, too; every man I’ve ever known enjoys getting blowjobs; so every many I’ve ever known must be gay. Right?
That argument is so terrible that it obviously can’t be what really drives men )and it’s almost always men( to worry that a guy’s enjoying anal penetration ‘makes him gay’. The real argument is quite different. It’s that a guy’s enjoying anal penetration makes him feminine, and being feminine makes him effeminate, and that makes him gay. The steps of this argument are pretty lame, too, but it at least makes some kind of sense. But to think that certain sorts of sex acts are exclusively ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ is sexist on its face. And even if it is ‘feminine’ for a man to enjoy anal penetration, why is that supposed to be bad? Could it be because what’s feminine is inferior and men should not stoop to such things? That kind of reasoning only makes sense to people who are sexist and homophobic.
What’s really ironic about this sort of concern is that one of the joys of anal penetration for men is how it stimulates the prostate. Which, of course, is an organ only men have.* Indeed, the main reason I like anal play so much is the kind of orgasm it gives me. I have always envied women because there are so many ways they can masturbate, and because of the seemingly endless orgasms some of them manage to have. One woman I knew used to cum five or six times nearly every time we had sex, one right after the next. I’d have sold my soul to be able to do that, but my anatomy always got in the way. Until, that is, I discovered my prostate.
My earliest anal masturbation, in my college years, involved dildos. Dildos are for fucking, and that’s what I started out doing. I found out pretty fast that, if I fucked myself at the right angle, the head of the dildo would bump into my prostate, which felt fantastic. At first, I found it difficult to get the angle just right. If it was too steep, it would hit too hard, which could be painful. If it was too shallow, it would miss my prostate altogether. But when it was just right, it would cause intense sensations deep inside my body and make precum flow out of my cock like a river. Very quickly, the sensations would build towards that pre-orgasmic state, and I would find myself lingering there for a long time. It felt like, if only I could just keep at it long enough, or hit just the right spot, I’d cum. But I would always tire before I got to that point, or just getting too horny to keep at it, so I’d stroke myself to an orgasm with the dildo buried inside me. The feeling of my ass grabbing at the dildo while I came was wonderful. But I always wondered what would happen if only I could keep at it longer. I had to cum, eventually, right?
So that became my quest: To cum, just from anal stimulation.
Partnered MMO Part One
This journey that I have been on for the last 18 years has been so rich and varied. It has also been internally focused and driven by me. I have shared my experiences with my wife and she has benefited from my enhanced ability to perform sexually and my newly attuned ability to coax shuddering orgasms from her lust dripping pussy.
To achieve each new step I took, I read and studied. I read all kinds of books about ESO and ejaculation retention; I dabbled in Zen and meditation, and in tantra. I am by no means accomplished in any of the eastern psycho – spiritual skills, but I have been informed and guided by them. I have always been a thoughtful – introspective person about my work and my experience of the world. When I embarked on this sexual journey I applied the thoughtfulness that I put into gazing at a beautiful sunset into my experience of sexual pleasure. When my sexual self discovery was beginning to resonate and illuminate a path for me I looked inside myself and I followed the path. I applied the intuitive prowess I applied every day at work to my sexuality and my sexual response. It was transcendent, transformational, tumultuous and a lot of other T words like terrific.
Silly Me
So I thought I could just type out a blog entry about my sexual experiences and share it with untold strangers on the Internet without my newly awakened prostate taking notice. I thought I was about to go to bed, but other forces were at work with their own agenda.
I had started swaying side to side as I sat and typed that first blog entry at my computer desk. The swaying got more pleasurable and relaxing by the time I was finishing. I was smiling, laughing a little as I realized the pleasure. It continued to build. Light tingling started to encompass more of my body as I sat there. I leaned back further and extended my legs as I was starting to go on auto-pilot, letting the sensations build. I started to realize I couldn't just sit here so I made it to bed, but there was no rest for me there. Nervous energy continued to dominate my body.
I was still dressed in the clothes I intended to go to bed in on a cold winter's night. That didn't stop my body having it's needs met. It didn't care if something was in contact with it's penis or not. It was calling the shots.
A little R and R
This post will have good portions of sessions and activities before this evening, but I think some of it will be helpful for others just starting out.
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This has been an amazing three days after getting my first Aneros. I had already been reading up on the experiences of various users and going over the excellent insights from B Mayfield's threads. Relaxation was definitely one of the main focuses I picked up on; letting it happen; letting your body lead the way )to paraphrase(. I had in the back of my mind the thoughts of a Super O and if I might be so lucky to achieve it early on. I tried to not let those thoughts take over, though. I did what I could leading up to the arrival of the Aneros to practice breathing, general relaxation and explore the muscle movements around the rectal area. In retrospect this really helped me keep my wits and stay focused. It would get me to a sort of exploratory state of mind once I got going.
Further Journey
I've had numerous sessions since my last entry, with varying degrees of "success". Let me start out by saying that all of the sessions have been pleasurable, and I really enjoy having my helix inside of me.
After the success of my MMO session, I couldn't wait to have more. In my next session I had the leg/body shaking feelings, but I just couldn't get off with dry orgasms. It felt great, but after the my last experience I was disappointed. I had a few more sessions where I couldn't even get this feeling again which really scared me that I wasn't going to achieve the MMO's again! I do have to say these were short and rushed.
After these sessions, I continued to wear my aneros for various periods while doing daily activity and I love the full feeling and pleasant feelings it creates. Last Friday night I had more time to enjoy a long session, and I got my MMO's again! I agree with other bloggers that you just have to relax, take your time, and let the pleasure take over. I started out on my stomach which felt good and got me primed for my back with my feet flat on the bed while I watched some porn. My nipples are definitely a source of pleasure to me, but I teased myself by not touching them yet. I then put a pillow under my butt and started to touch my nipples. This really got me going. I then stretched my legs out and squeezed them together. This started the magic! My MMO's shook my body, and it felt like I was cumming, but only leaking. It felt so good and I totally lost track of time and how many times I dry-came! I slept with the aneros inside and I know in the twilight of my sleep I had more pleasurable feelings, but no dry cumming.