My Sexuality, My Fantasies and the Tao of Eros

Tao: the unconditional and unknowable source and guiding principle of all reality; the process of nature by which all things change and which is to be followed for a life of harmony. The Tao is the path, the art or the skill of doing something in harmony with the core meaning of life.

It is 20 years ago that I began this journey of sexual discovery; after all this time I now realize that my purpose has been to pursue the Tao of Eros; but it didn’t start out that way. When I began walking in this path of sexual discovery, my simplistic goal was to seek higher levels of arousal. Along the way I came to the realization that I also wanted to better understand female sexual response so I could be a better lover.

I discovered the opportunity of the Tao of Eros when I discovered Tantric Sex Practice in the first year or so. With my new knowledge I sought out eastern thought and philosophy as the first steps along the path. I read books and I did retreats in Tantra, Zen and Taoism; I studied some of the theory behind Kundalini Yoga. I read books on Extended Male Orgasm and Male Multiple Orgasm.

Those early intellectual efforts years ago opened my mind to so much more than kinky means to seek arousal. As I looked to increase my libido I gained sexual proficiency, instead of pushing horniness to new heights, instead I discovered new pathways to orgasm. Finally I discovered the power of eroticism and subsequently became a sensual man who followed the Tao of Eros. Read more »

My Two Orgasmic Worlds Join

When I first started my journey of sexual discovery 20 years ago, I had no idea what intriguing and life altering things I would find. Then 10 years ago I stumbled into MMO totally by accident. It happened while surfing the net; MMO and anal pleasure sounded too good to be true but the testimonials convinced me to try it. So ten years ago I bought an MGX and my journey in anal orgasm began resulting after a year or so in my rewiring.

Anal induced MMO brought together the tantric sex that I had been studying and enjoying with J and it even incorporated some of the Zen Meditation that I had been )and still am( practicing and it changed my sexual respose pattern forever.

MMO is a very solitary inwardly focused activity for me. On the other hand, savoring J’s pussy with my mouth or penis is very outwardly focused; it is an activity where we participate together. Either I am sharing the warm lush pungency of her dewy pussy mouth on my tongue or I am plunging my steely penis deep in her pussy probing her vagina and savoring the exquisitely sensual caress of her warm wet femininity on my cock. Either way it is a paired activity in which the visceral desperate ache of shared erotic sensation is enjoyed mutually; most of the time it culminates in the ecstatic torrential flow of my semen for her witness or taste, or the euphoric rhythmic spasms of her pussy as she succumbs to orgasm. Read more »

A quickie and anticipation

Wow, it's been awhile. Due to a busy summer schedule, there's been no "me" time. Finally yesterday before work there was some alone time. While watching some porn, I became overcome by desire and so after lubing up the Maximus, standing in front of the computer I dropped my shorts and briefs, and slowly guided the now slippery tip of the maximus inside me. Since it had been at least a month, I was pretty tight, so I took it slow. From watching some intense porn, I was already leaking pre-cum, but as the head of the maximus touched the sweet spot inside, more sweet fluid leaked out of my semi-erect cock. I desperately wanted to continue, but time ran out, so I had to end my fun for the day with just a few little sensations that were produced after contracting my anal sphincter. But Friday promises to leave me with ample time for a nice, long overdue session with the Ice and Maximus. Stay tuned!

Another mini-O after months and months.

I finally have had another mini-O with my Progasm! And it was glorious feeling! Only about 7.5 months since my last one. And it hasn't been for a lack of trying. What I find odd is that this was only a few hours later after I had a super-T today. Totally unexpected as my ass and prostate was feeling rather aroused and ready for another Aneros session. I had forgotten how the orgasmic feeling spreads outwards while the involuntary anal contractions happen and there is this feeling of giving in to it. So wonderful feeling, and certainly kind of dream like too. I wanted it to go on and on, but it only lasted probably as long as a regular ejaculatory orgasm. And I wasn't able to make any others happen within the same session.

What I find interesting was that I was focusing on and paying attention to this imaginary convergence of where the stimulation of the perineum from the P tab occurs and the Aneros body stimulating my prostate. That's what seemed to make it happen while relaxing, letting it happen, and stimulating my nipples. Damn it was good! I so want to be able to do this rather regularly! I'm confounded as to what the answer is for that to happen. It's been over eight years since I started this journey. I've certainly been a slow grinder making progress. Ah well… I'll take what I can get. It was amazing feeling to have this tonight and I'm thankful for it.

My personal experience with the Aneros Helix SYN

I purchased my first prostate massage toy, an Aneros Helix SYN, one and a half month ago and would like to share my personal journey with you. I haven't yet experienced an orgasm with it, but reading the Aneros wiki as well as personal experiences of other users helped me understanding my body better. Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome.

My pre-Aneros experience

One of my favorite things to do (if time permits) is watching porn without touching my penis. I like the warm, pulsating feeling, the feeling of my erect penis rubbing against the fabric of my underwear and I also enjoy the flow of pre-cum. I guess this started when I was a teenager and couldn't whip out my dick in front of the computer. I still do this sometimes until I got quite a bit of pre-cum in my pants. I have never experienced a hands-free orgasm in all these years. At some point I get so horny that I need to jerk off using my hands.

Sometime around 2008 I discovered a video of someone using an Aneros. Interest in Hand-free orgasms and prostate milking led me to exploring my own anal canal and prostate. I had (and have to this day) severe problems finding my prostate with my finger. I did manage to get a flow of pre-cum running, but I didn't find the whole experience very enjoyable. Although I didn't find a magical button that is giving me instant pleasure, I enjoyed getting to know my body a bit better. Read more »

My Fantasy During A Less

I was on my own last night, as J and my daughter went out to see a movie. They have become movie partners going to see chick flicks that I have no patience for. It is good for them both to have a close person to indulge their female entertainment predilections. I was left home to walk the dog and get on line to indulge my prurient male erotic tendencies.

I couldn’t find any on line friends to chat with so I indulged myself and got on Porn Hub, which I haven’t done in weeks. After two hours of searching favorite fantasies such as female bondage orgasm, sensual hand jobs, male milking, sybian orgasm, cunnilingus and cum shots I was significantly aroused. The rigid lump in my pants had made my underpants so wet it was soaking through. By ten o’clock I gave up and decided to go take a shower before J got home. While I was in the shower she returned with my daughter. As I shaved she stuck her head in the bathroom and told me that she was back and they were just getting something to eat. Read more »

The Sexual Ecstasy of an INFJ

A number of years ago I took a Myers Briggs personality test. The other day as I was cleaning out old files and papers in my desk, I came across a folder with my resumes, it contained the results of that test. It was a very interesting read; I had not read it in a long time. Beyond the fascinating insights it gave me in its explanation of decisions that I have made in my career after I took it, it was particularly intriguing when I considered it in the context of my sexual journey. I had taken the test in my late 30’s before I began on this path of erotic discovery.

The first thing I did before I read it and prejudiced myself about its results was get on line and take it again. I scored it after carefully answering all the questions; I was pleasantly reassured that nothing had changed in 30 years, I was still an INFJ.

The interpretation of each MB type was explained in a set of profiles that accompanied the test on line. For an INFJ like me the summary profile said that I sought meaning in relationships, ideas, and events. Relative to the last several years of my sexual journey I had indeed done that; I had joined some sex forums but left them because they were shallow and a lot of the talk on them was inane. However, every forum that I was on I met people who became close personal friends in my real life off the forum establishing meaningful relationships with them. Read more »

Ghost Butt

Writing this the day after because I had to savor the events… Been about 2 weeks since my last ride, and my taint softened up a bit again. I only say this because when I ride more consistently, my perineum gets tougher and the P-tab isn't so aggressive feeling.

Oh, and no sex of any kind for maybe 4 days… the glands were throbbing to drain! I plugged in my Pro Jr. and practiced contracting my actual anus, not just the PC muscles. In about 10 minutes, I was getting major involuntaries and new stimulation from the K-tab. I'm guessing my ass is building some amazing strength from these sessions.

Ballooning my abdomen by taking in a slow belly breath added even more pressure, and I got some great rapid anus contractions in return, almost like a machine gun. When these fired off, my penis erected and I spasmed shut. My glutes contracted rhythmically and added movement to the locked up Aneros. Then all hell broke loose and I was grunting loud into my pillow, my body tense as fuck. When it was over, I had kicked everything off the bed. Read more »

Super O Plateau

One of the most mysterious and exciting things about this Aneros journey is its subtlety and the connection of mind and body in experiencing sexual pleasure. When I started this journey of sexual discovery almost 20 years ago I knew that it was as much a mental experience as it was a physical one. Even though Aneros practice is rooted in the use of a physical device, the power of the mind to facilitate extreme pleasure through that device is manifest. Even more mysterious and fascinating however is the power of Aneros to instigate anal pleasure and facilitate an altered mental state at the pinnacle of a chain of multiple orgasms.

My normal sessions usually are between an hour and 3 hours. Typically a session will consist of back to pleasure spasms that flow in waves of building and ebbing pleasure. The waves never disappear they just modulate slightly from peak to peak. If I am going to go for a 2 hour session I will deliberately let the wave dissipate slightly to relish the sublime sensation of climbing higher again. It will typically build up on its own to start the second hour as I wait for it to lift me in renewed waves of ecstasy.

However the interesting thing for me is the way that prostate and penile bulb focused pleasure waves build in me eventually becoming contractions of mind numbing euphoria. Read more »

Seasons of My Sexuality

As you can read from the previous posts my sexuality is a complex thing. Like the seasons it transforms itself within the measure of a year, each season bringing its unique conditions, qualities and sensibilities. The torrid heat of desire for a woman and the vulgar intimacy of being with a man each bring their own memorable pleasure that resonates in the moment but lingers as an echoing memory; both harden my cock and make it ache with need. The calming chill of ecstasy and the urgency of arousal also speak to the sense of sexual seasons that I experience.

Homoerotic desire is one of those seasons that swings in and out of my life like the much anticipated chill of fall in the end of a sultry summer. Yet at the beginning of a summer with the anticipation of bathing in searing feminine sexual lust fantasies of sex with a man seem like a distant activity like raking leaves would seem in June.

The thought of male intimacy ebbs and flows. When it surfaces it finds me like a butterfly seeks a bloom. It is silent. I never know when it will land on me. The desire for male intimacy is so mysterious and secretive that one night as I lay naked in bed it lands on me, seeking my sticky male stamen. It finds me with grace and elegance that belies its masculine character; it alights on my wetted swollen cockhead which is exuding the sweet nectar of my arousal. Read more »