Tag: Relaxation

Another twist in the road of my journey – late July and early August

Since this is more of a journal I'll be updating my experiences semi-regularly. Skip to the end of the blog for the latest entry.

I found that I had unintentionally hijacked the topic in the"weed" forum discussion with my Salvia Divinorum experiences and thought that my descriptions of my experiences were more appropriate in a blog. So here it is. I'll keep updating it as I go.

June 25
salvia divinorum looks interesting; quick acting, short duration, not addictive, meditative affects, no hangover. I'm going to try it.

Wikipedia says "Mazatec shamans have a long and continuous tradition of religious use of Salvia divinorum, using it to facilitate visionary states of consciousness during spiritual healing sessions.[1] Most of the plant's local common names allude to the Mazatec belief that the plant is an incarnation of the Virgin Mary, with its ritual use also invoking that relationship"

June 26
Here's a poetic description of the Salvia Divinorum experience from the Pharmako/poeia by Dale Pendel:

"It's like a mirror with no frame: some don't see it at all; some do, but don't like what they see.

It's like cat paws, soft cat paws pressing, or like a bunch of bird tongues lapping the mind. Or like tiny fingers, the way ivy fingers reach out to climb a wall . . . Read more »

Quiver

Day 2. Burning out my PC/anal muscles yesterday really opened some new doors today. I lubed up, then prepared the Aneros. While not really part of a session, I walked around with it inserted, doing PC/anal clamps. I took a drive, still plugged, still practicing contractions. By the time evening rolled around, the perineum tab was making me a little sore, so I slipped it out.

My partner left town after dark, so I was alone tonight. He knows I get off from wearing jockstraps and athletic cups, and tonight was no exception. It's kind of a denial/sexual frustration thing. My favorite combo is the Bauer sport cup )no longer in production( held in place with a black Bike Performance supporter. The cup is in direct contact with my groin; there's no pocket. In anticipation of a *real* session tonight with the Progasm Jr., I felt I needed to block access to my front.

Again, I relubed and inserted the Aneros. This time, my PC/anal muscles were already exhausted. Lying on my side, eyes closed, I practiced partial contractions. After about 30 minutes, the muscles were getting beyond tired. Then magic happened. My asshole and PC muscles began fighting against each other causing a throbbing sensation. I had to fight my conscious control over it )I didn't want to control it(. An hour later, I had accomplished about four or five of these throbbing spasms, but with limited durations because I kept trying to control them. Erections alternated between the spasmodic episodes. I guess the more I learn to relax, the more responsiveness I get, right? Read more »

20 O's

Took a nice hot shower.Got relaxed.Got about a 20 minute head start with the Vice. Having many mini Os. I open my eyes to watch her come out of our suite's ( at our home) master bath in a short white robe. her hair still wet from the shower…. Very sexy !! She opened her robe and laid beside me sharing my experience. She caressed and teased me to the point of many internal / no ejaculation orgasms…over and over ! At least 20 ! It was fantastic ! Once she got involved , the eroticism went from 1- 100% !

She teased me lightly with her fingertips. Ever grazing over my cock and scrotum. My cock hardens with her touch. She dips her fingers in the coconut oil and dribbles it on my cock. She wraps her fingers around me and lovingly strokes me up and down. Her soft hands make me squeal with desire. I raise my hips up off the bed and thrust into her hand. The Vice is burning my prostate as I buck and air fuck her sweet hand. She pushes and tugs on the Vice with her other hand causing me to moan and buck harder. The mini Os keep coming over and over as she kisses me and enjoys them with me. My feet are flat on the bed as the Vice thrust in and out of me, matching her strokes. I continue to cum inside over and over again. Moaning and in euphoric ecstasy. Read more »

Fantasies, Kaleidoscopes and Ecstasy

Peppered throughout my writings are descriptions of prostate derived orgasms, or MMO’s as I call them as kaleidoscopic. In Aneros circles MMO’s are commonly refer to as super Os. Sometimes guys refer to the sensation of MMOs as pleasure waves )which I sometimes do as well(; however in many of my recent sessions I have been perceiving MMO’s as chains of kaleidoscopic orgasms that sensually morph from one ecstatic feeling to the next as they unfold. Each wave of pleasure reveals excruciating ecstatic sensations. Just as a kaleidoscope morphs and transforms one elegant richly detailed vision to another so does an MMO; the rhythmically pulsing spasms of orgasm transfigure themselves unfurling lush orgasmic sensations as they do. And just as I struggle to see and absorb the deeply vibrant images in a kaleidoscope, so do I also struggle to experience and savor the intense and overwhelming sensations of an MMO.

With my eyes closed I can sense the sensually erotic colors of pleasurable sensation. I do not really see the colorful vibrancy and chilling detail of an MMO but instead I envision it viscerally. I feel it as the enticing chill of ecstasy and as agonizing euphoria of cascading pleasure. It moves throughout my anal tract eventually permeating my entire body, its alluring fingers stroking my anal canal, tugging on my cock, squeezing my prostate, and coaxing my anus, teasing it to flex and spasm in paroxysms of erotic bliss. It makes my entire body quiver and my cock drip precum as I succumb to the exquisite echoes of orgasmic rapture. Read more »

A Fantasy and a Reality

When an erotic fantasy finds me it is like it has found a comfortable chair; it settles in and stays, relaxing and pondering the facets of its own lush eroticism. It has certainly been that way over the last week or so with my fantasy of sexual and emotional intimacy with A, a woman I volunteer with.

Last night I had a particularly pleasurable fantasy involving the two of us. It happened because I saw her at a meeting of the organization she works for, and that I volunteer for yesterday. As President I have a lot of interaction with her before, during and after the meeting. She is Secretary to the board.

The fantasies that I have that involve real people that I see all the time seem to be the dominant ones in the erotic landscape of my mind. Certainly the homoerotic fantasies I have at the pinnacle of MMO ecstasy are not realism based; when my anus is quivering and my prostate is pumping and my cock is lurching in convulsive orgasmic spasms my fantasies become surreal. Most of the time they involve a exquisitely muscled faceless guy who is exuding male sexuality; he is drilling my asshole with a massive erect cock whose shaft is tracked with rigid veins. The convulsive spasms of pleasure pumping deep in my own anal canal become spasms of his cock as it rhythmically pumps a thick hot stream of his sweet ejaculate deep into my anal cavity. Read more »

Starting to let go of myself and my fears.

This past week I had contact with my family in a way that stirred up anger and fear, which led to renewed feelings of self-loathing and doubt. Much of this anger and fear is about my parents and how they treated me in the past. The self-loathing came from seeing my parents as "evil" beings and seeing myself (unconsciously) as an extension of them.

That contact with my family ended on Friday. I have been reading about Buddhism and practicing Buddhist meditations lately, so I began that practice again on Friday in an attempt to "recover." I also attempted to have a session Friday night. While it was intense and pleasurable (especially since it had been a week since my last ejaculation) I found I wasn't able to "break through" into that special place where I am perfectly loved and accepted. In particular, at the gateway to that place I found an incredible loneliness and need for validation.

On Saturday I began reading some Buddhist discourse on fear and the nature of fear. Much of what I read talked about how many of our fears are an extension of the original fear of abandonment and death we develop when we leave the womb, since at that time being abandoned means death. I began to see how these ideas were at play in my relationship with my parents and my pattern of self-doubt. My parents are the type to love people conditionally, and I started to see why the fear of losing them caused me so much pain. I saw that that fear of abandonment was tied to my fears around death and survival. The book I was reading recommended meditative exercises where the inner (fearful) child was allowed to express these fears, and the adult self then comforted the inner child–reminding it that it can now survive on its own and give itself love. Read more »

Forbidden Fantasy

I am in Seattle visiting my daughter and son in law. They have a great place out here; it is a tri level modern house with four bedrooms, one of which has total privacy on the lower level. That is where I am sleeping. I am here without my wife as I came to California on business and this was a side trip as long as I was on the west coast. I have been here four days so far … I will leave at the end of the week.

I have been spoiling them, cooking their favorite things and going out to eat. Yesterday my son in law )a volunteer fireman( had an evening meeting to go to at the firehouse and my daughter wanted to go to a book signing and lecture in Kenmore up on Lake Washington. I volunteered to go with her. The author was no one I was interested in; her books appeal to young and middle aged women. They are one step above chick lit. It was a really hot day yesterday, the first one we had since I came here.

As we drove into the parking lot in front of the bookstore I noticed a green space across the street, it looked like a park. I decided that maybe I would go and cool off by sitting in the park under the shade trees while she was in the book event; the trees shaded the lake and obscured the view of it.
We parked in the lot and my daughter went into the bookstore and I walked across the street to what I thought was a park. As it turned out the “park” was a club for member s only. It looked as it had a beach on the lake, a clubhouse and tennis courts. Read more »

Surprising New Interests

So when chatting a little while ago some interesting topics came up. I challenged myself to stretch my imagination a bit and here's what I came up with.

So generally I'm not into men who cross dress. I dont have a problem with it, its just not something I am usually drawn to. Maybe because so many men are not able to pull off wearing what could be considered "womens" clothing well. Well my mind was changed when I happened across a picture. After staring at the pic for a few minutes my mind went crazy so buckle up…enjoy the ride…

The first thing I noticed about the picture was the obvious. His outfit. It was obviously something that one would of course bill as a woman's outfit. A black mini skirt, and black lacy top. Both were snugly hugging his masculine body. The next thing I noticed was his face, then his facial expression. He looks so cunning, so confident, so very sexy in a super manly way. Its almost like he is playfully smirking at me, daring me to do what I was thinking. His presence can almost be felt. Nice pad…apparently is a hard worker. His daughter's pics on the fridge behind him remind me how great of a father he is. The washing machine beside the fridge makes me think of fucking him on top of it. Damn he looks sexy. Read more »

Joy & Pain

Gotta replace the old with some new, so this is a mix of fact & fiction )mostly the latter(. I'll let you figure out which is which.

Met a guy…broke a ton of my rules giving him a shot. The things I felt for him I hadn't felt in over a decade. He'd already shown me he's a dark man. Said he isnt into "dark arts" mystically, but he's as evil as they come. He lead me to believe I was his friend, that he respected me. At his first convenience he used me. He knew he never wanted to see or speak to me again but that didnt stop him from fucking me repeatedly. I was nothing but a cum receptacle to him. Yet he continues to try and con me into believing he respects me, likes me, and is my friend )or still wants to be that…yea the fuck right(. Last time I checked you dont lie, fuck, and kick friends to the curb…apparently his view on friendship, respect, and just about everything is warped to fit his delusional mindset. He's delusional…and I'm done with him. I've made up my mind I wont sacrifice myself, that doesnt stop the pain though. Sleeping has been in large part replaced by lamenting over my stupidity where he is concerned. This will pass…just wish it was a little faster. Read more »

What Mantak Chia says about sex between men and being a gay or bisexual man

(I’ve been reading Master Mantak Chia’s book “Becoming a Multiorgasmic Man” and found this section on sex between men that was so important that I’m quoting him at length here.

Yang and Yang For Gay Men

China, like all civilizations, has long acknowledged the practice of homosexuality. Historically it was called lung-yang, after the name of a fourth-century B.c.prince’s male lover, or tuan-hsiu, “the cut sleeve,” recalling an emperor who was said to have cut off his sleeve to avoid waking his sleeping lover. Although sexual relationships between men were at times condoned and at other times discouraged by the imperial court – no doubt depending on who was sleeping in the royal
bed – Taoism has never condemned homosexuality. Taoism avoids condemning any part of human sexual experience, since it is all considered a part of the Tao. Rather, Taoism tries to teach people how to stay healthy, whatever their sexual preferences. Gay men simply need to know the practices that will help them have satisfying and healthy sexual relationships.

Can’t Stop Till I Get Enough

A gay writer and activist was doing a radio interview about his book on life in the pre-AIDS bathhouses, where gay men often would have numerous sexual encounters per night. When asked about whether the desire for multiple sexual experiences is characteristic of gay men in general, the author shot back that it is characteristic of all male sexuality, but that straight men are usual y constrained by female sexuality. If, he continued, we really want to see what male sexuality is like, uninfluenced by female sexuality, we just need to look at gay men. Read more »